advice needed re: alcoholic parent

fluffy*giraffe*

long story short, a woman i know is an alcoholic. she drinks every night and comes into work "worse for wear" a lot of the time.

my main concern is her 9 yr old daughter who is not being properly fed and the house is a mess.

she was seperated from her husband a year ago so is a single parent.
other people are commenting on this in work and other parents of the daughters friends.

who do we call for help, just don't want to drop her in it but something needs sorting.

any ideas welcome.

thanks x

Fang_3

You don't want to drop her in it? Good god. There's a child being neglected and you're worried about dropping the bloody mother in it? Have you no heart or conscience at all?

McKneff

Ring social services, no delay, if this child is being neglected then you must.
But be sure of your facts.
The house may be a mess but she may be fed well and loved.
Best to get it checked though, whether you drop the mother in it or not, it may be just the kick in the !!! she needs tbh.

Mupette

How about befriending her, perhaps she is lonely and needs friends in her difficult time.

She seems to be really suffering after the split with her husband and needs support to get her through it, hitting the bottle is not the answer, but she's turned to drink, and needs support and tlc not catty comments (Fang)

Seeing as you have a heart and conscience, be prepared to be ridiculed by people that think they are better than you on here.

Good luck, also try AA, good on you for wanting to do something :T

fluffy*giraffe*

i know her and the child well, have done for some years

my boss doesn't think she is bad enough to report

ss will send a letter to say they are coming

Loopy_Girl

Tell anyone you know...the Mother has a committment to be a parent and if she is failing then her feelings should be the last on the list.

There's a scared, frightened little girl here who is probably getting bullied as she is not clean and doesn't have nicely ironed clothes.
She's probably trying to make her own meals whilst putting up with drunken rants from her Mother.

Trust me, she's counting on you to poke your nose in and help her.

She loves her Mum but at 9, knows this isn't the correct kind of life.

Please phone SS ASAP

Fang_3

fluffy*giraffe* wrote: »

i know her and the child well, have done for some years

my boss doesn't think she is bad enough to report

ss will send a letter to say they are coming

Then if the girl suffers seriously YOU will be to blame for not stopping it. Get a grip and do the right thing.

fluffy*giraffe*

4 of us went round a couple of months ago to clean the house for her and she has had 6 weeks of counciling.

she is back to square one again now.

Loopy_Girl

Fang wrote: »

Then if the girl suffers seriously YOU will be to blame for not stopping it. Get a grip and do the right thing.

Sometimes I think the stuff you post makes you a bit of a c0ck to be honest but I agree with you here.

There's a child protection scheme called 'It's Your Job To Make Sure I'm Okay' which basically means that no matter who is the parent of a child, EVERY adult should be looking out for their welfare.

OP, you have concerns - act on them

fluffy*giraffe*

i know what you are saying fang and i agree to some extent but she has a large family network around her and also the childs father knows what is going on so many people can "do the right thing" not just me.

i will do this with no hesitation once all other ways have been explored as it is also a nightmare to work with!!!

Wonder_Girl

fluffy*giraffe* wrote: »

i know her and the child well, have done for some years

my boss doesn't think she is bad enough to report

ss will send a letter to say they are coming

Do you know the Dad at all? if so does he have a relationship with his daughter?

If so i would contact him to see if he could look after his daugheter whilst Mum sorts herself out

But you really do need to involve SS. I know you are concerned what this might do to her, but right now she doesn't seem to care what she herself is doing to her child. if she can't care for her daughter right now YOU need to make sure somebody is.

Good luck x