Court Residency Order - Costs?

clearingout

how old is he?

assuming he's pre-teen, the issue is whether or not he really understands what it is he's asking. Many children prefer being with the NRP because they see them less and tend to have more fun, free from the stresses and strains of normal, everyday family life where he has to eat his vegetables, do his homework and go to bed early. If you are more lax on this than mum (which is not a judgement!) naturally, a younger child will gravitate towards the person he feels 'happiest' with ('cos he gets to go to MacDonalds and stay up watching X Factor...). What he doesn't realise is that once with you the whole time, you'll also demand he eats his vegetables and do his homework and he'll more than likely be screaming out to go back to mum within a matter of weeks. Grass generally isn't greener...

Other issues to consider:
- can you actually manage having him live with you from a work point of view? how will you handle illness, school holidays and INSET days?
- will living with you mean a change of schools?
- if your son is not yet in senior school, will living with you mean he has to go to a different senior school to that of his friends?
- how will you give your children time together as siblings? It is important that sibling relationships are maintained, in my opinion, although I know many fight like cat and dog!
- does you son really understand what it means to not see mum every day?

It's a difficult one. Try not to get caught up in it too much and focus on your relationship with him, making sure it's strong and he knows he can trust you and come to you if he wants your help and support.

Pimpslider

Ta for the replies...

Firstly clearingout (and I know your were not having a dig), when he is at mine I do make him eat his veg (he even likes brocolli and cauliflour). I pretty much do all his homework with him at the moment anyway. He is punished if he's naughty, so no favours from this Dad. And he doesn't like X-Factor .

With regards to the 'Other issues to consider':

- can you actually manage having him live with you from a work point of view? how will you handle illness, school holidays and INSET days? Yes. I work a full day but my wonderful parter can easily pick him up from school as she does with our daughter.

- will living with you mean a change of schools? Nope. I live within a stones throw of his Mum so no problem there at all.

- if your son is not yet in senior school, will living with you mean he has to go to a different senior school to that of his friends? See above. Schools chosen this month.

- how will you give your children time together as siblings? It is important that sibling relationships are maintained, in my opinion, although I know many fight like cat and dog! Over the weekends my son and step-daughter spend alot of time togther and, although they do fight like brother and sister, do play nicely.

- does you son really understand what it means to not see mum every day? He's been through alot of changes and I think it is finally hitting home. I have been sitting on my hands with my mouth bolted shut for the last 10 years. People have said to me that eventually he will realise where he is better off. I have never pushed the decision and never would, but perhaps he is now realising.

kwaks, I'd love to believe that phrase of 'regardless of the costs and time it may take'...but I believe the stress and conflict it may incur may be more detrimental to our relationship, and may make the situation worse for him at his Mums. In an ideal world I'd like to just go to Court with no assistance and just pray the Judge would see the obvious.