Out of work, psych appointment prevents proper full time work. Thoughts appreciated.

chomsky_2

purplefiona wrote: »

Oh thanks for reminding me. I had forgotten that I effectively lost a perfectly good £24K a year job half an hour from my house a couple of weeks ago. I took Office Angels advice- and it was bad advice. tell me you've never taken bad advice. go on. tell me you've never made a mistake. then I can tell you how much I don't comprehend that.

I have to agree with some of the other posters, your responses are not helping you, some people on here have given good advice and you are coming across as stroppy and might I say a tad ungrateful, whenever you hear something you don't like. If you're unhappy with the answers you are getting then why are you asking questions on an open internet forum? Is there no one else you could ask for advice? Have you thought about maybe seeing a careers advisor who could possibly talk you through your options?

http://careersadvice.direct.gov.uk/

I can see you are unhappy and a bit !!!!ed off but is this really the best place to vent your frustrations? I personally would take the good advice you have been given so far and see if you can use any of it to get a new job that hopefully can fit around your other commitments.

paulwf

purplefiona wrote: »

Oh thanks for reminding me. I had forgotten that I effectively lost a perfectly good £24K a year job half an hour from my house a couple of weeks ago. I took Office Angels advice- and it was bad advice. tell me you've never taken bad advice. go on. tell me you've never made a mistake. then I can tell you how much I don't comprehend that.

Office Angels didn't give you bad advice...they gave you the advice needed to get the job and it worked. You then lost the job all on your own...whether that was the right or wrong course of action only you can answer.

Lets say an employer has 100 applications, 10 of which are adequate or above. Who would you pick? The one who needs time off for appointments and who has had therapy for the past 3 years or one of the 9 others?

I'm sorry for being blunt about this but I think you need to see it from an employers perspective, especially in the current job market. No employer is going to do you any special favours when it comes to recruiting and you need to realise that. Do what you need to do to get the job (without lying) then do what you need to do to keep it. Work out the rest from there

Googlewhacker

purplefiona wrote: »

Nursing home stuff- Could do.
Job-share is an option, I will look out for some things like that.
I will also ask my therapist if my condition is covered under the DDA. I sort of hope it is AND hope it isn't- I don't want to be ill but I do want to have a job and therapy and I don't think thats unreasonable, even though everyone else seems to at the moment. Clearly I need to go for different jobs, explain it in a different way etc.

The point is that whilst that it is probably not unreasonable to ask for a job and therapy it is unreasonable for alot of employers that need you for set times

Nenen

Sorry to hear they withdrew the job offer. My OH is a psychotherapist (works half time for local government and half time in private practice) and I am currently trying to get my employers to make reasonable adjustments for my physical disability (easier said than done), so I have some understanding of your situation.

Despite the DDA, in my experience, it is not always easy to get even a current employer who knows you and the standard of your work well to make adjustments, let alone a prospective employer who has little or no idea about you and your work. Unfortunately, disabilities (mental health issues in particular) frighten many people and still carry a stigma so I think telling any employer you need 2 hours per week for therapy is highly likely to put them off employing you. How I wish this was not true but I am being pragmatic here. They will probably have little or no experience of working with someone who suffers from depression and may well expect you to be going around the place weeping and wailing all the time (highly unlikely I'm sure). The difficulty with depression is that so many people do everything they can to cover it up at work so most employers have no idea what is really going on.

Basically, I would first ask your therapist if she does any private work after 5pm (many do). If she does, even if it costs around £40-80 per session (going rate outside London), you would still more than cover the cost if it meant you were able to apply for 9-5 jobs at a senior level for 24K per year. That has got to be better (both financially and emotionally) than continuing with free therapy whilst on benefits or in an unskilled job on low wages. If your current therapist does not do private work, I would seriously consider changing therapists. Your current therapist should understand and be able to recommend someone and help you transfer. You might even consider becoming a training patient for an experienced therapist taking higher qualifications (pm me if you want details) as you would then get 3 or 4 hours of intensive therapy per week for a much reduced price which may help your recovery.

In addition, I do think a PP had a good idea about searching for a job with flexitime built in. If you are anywhere near a university you could try their websites and perhaps consider librarian work as well as reception/HR/etc.

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

purplefiona

Nenen wrote: »

Sorry to hear they withdrew the job offer. My OH is a psychotherapist (works half time for local government and half time in private practice) and I am currently trying to get my employers to make reasonable adjustments for my physical disability (easier said than done), so I have some understanding of your situation.

Despite the DDA, in my experience, it is not always easy to get even a current employer who knows you and the standard of your work well to make adjustments, let alone a prospective employer who has little or no idea about you and your work. Unfortunately, disabilities (mental health issues in particular) frighten many people and still carry a stigma so I think telling any employer you need 2 hours per week for therapy is highly likely to put them off employing you. How I wish this was not true but I am being pragmatic here. They will probably have little or no experience of working with someone who suffers from depression and may well expect you to be going around the place weeping and wailing all the time (highly unlikely I'm sure). The difficulty with depression is that so many people do everything they can to cover it up at work so most employers have no idea what is really going on.

Basically, I would first ask your therapist if she does any private work after 5pm (many do). If she does, even if it costs around £40-80 per session (going rate outside London), you would still more than cover the cost if it meant you were able to apply for 9-5 jobs at a senior level for 24K per year. That has got to be better (both financially and emotionally) than continuing with free therapy whilst on benefits or in an unskilled job on low wages. If your current therapist does not do private work, I would seriously consider changing therapists. Your current therapist should understand and be able to recommend someone and help you transfer. You might even consider becoming a training patient for an experienced therapist taking higher qualifications (pm me if you want details) as you would then get 3 or 4 hours of intensive therapy per week for a much reduced price which may help your recovery.

In addition, I do think a PP had a good idea about searching for a job with flexitime built in. If you are anywhere near a university you could try their websites and perhaps consider librarian work as well as reception/HR/etc.

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

I've already asked about out of hours appointments but thanks.
Training therapist. maybe. sounds good. will pm you when not tired.
F

CFC

Can't you have therapy and a job, you ask plaintively.

Why yes, yes you can - but not at other people's or organisation expense. You cannot apply and hope to keep down a job that has fixed hours 9-5:30 while also keeping your fixed therapy appointment. The two are mutually exclusive and you have not considered the matter at all from the point of view of the employer or other employees. The world doesn't revolve around you, as my old relatives used to say!

So you have several options available to you that people have offered as suggestions:

a) Get a 24k job 9-5:30 and pay for your own therapy to be taken at your own convenience
b) Look for a job where there is no strict need for set shifts every day - eg admin related job/HR etc
c) Look for 'out of hours' reception jobs; possibly in a hotel/hospital/airport or similar
d) Take two part time jobs again
e) Move into retail and work Saturday instead of Wednesday
f) Look for shift work, eg a call centre
g) Look for public sector work as they seem to pretty much let their employees do anything they want.

I think I've summarised all the suggestions.

squirrelchops

Please don't get me wrong when I say this but therapy each week at a set time reminds me of the anecdote of Woody Allen who had psychotherapy every week for like 20 + years!!!

I, too have also had therapy. Without this I would be struggling day to day in many aspects of my life so it was unvaluable.

I also have quite a lot of professional knowledge regarding therapy/mental health etc. I know the OP does not want to hear this but I am professionally concerned regarding the duration of the psychotherapy. If however OP feels that progress is being made then fair enough. Also psychotherapy by its very nature is a long term therapy. There does usually begin to come a point though where one feels they want to have less frequent sessions, kind of 'testing' out on your own if you can manage without such intense therapy.

I know how abosltely exhausted talking therapy is. Remember OP most of the work is done by yourself in between the sessions.

Regarding the work issue I can empathise with how frustrating it must be for you.

teabelly

While you're waiting to find a job that will be flexible enough to fit in your weekly appointment why not use your jewellery skills and start making and selling a few things on ebay? Jewellery repair might also be another area to get into. If you're doing something creative it will give you something else to focus on. Local car boots might be a good source of broken items and spare bits you could incorporate into your own creations to save on initial costs.

Not all companies want full time staff so it is worth asking around in your local area if there are any that only need someone 4 days a week for example.

purplefiona

CFC wrote: »

Can't you have therapy and a job, you ask plaintively.

Why yes, yes you can - but not at other people's or organisation expense.

.

I don't think I ever said I wanted to do things at other peoples expense. How is needing therapy being seen as so selfish and unreasonable? I don't understand. I worked to make up the hours in all my other jobs, looks like my previous boss was a very rare person indeed. very rare.

I want to work, I am a worker, I work hard- I just came here for advice not for judgement.
My mistake.

Zazen999

purplefiona wrote: »

I don't think I ever said I wanted to do things at other peoples expense. How is needing therapy being seen as so selfish and unreasonable? I don't understand. I worked to make up the hours in all my other jobs, looks like my previous boss was a very rare person indeed. very rare.

I want to work, I am a worker, I work hard- I just came here for advice not for judgement.
My mistake.

No - you asked for thoughts. As per your title.

I note you jump on anyone that suggests that businesses have businesses to run in normal working day hours. I also note that you don't say 'thanks' for the suggestions that CFC has made just under his point.

Nobody is saying don't have the therapy; what they are saying is that you have to choose your options if you want to have therapy in the working week.