How do i get the kids to tidy their toys away!

lindseykim13

Hi guys, i've tried this tonight (the putting toys in black bag that were left on the floor) the problem i had was that ds1 did hardly anything and ds2 did everything i asked him to.
I then got the black bag out and poor ds2 ended up in tears because a lot of it was things they both play with (dressing ups etc) but he'd done a heck of a lot more than ds1 did so didn't really deserve the punishment. ds1 didn't give a monkeys :mad:

They don't have many toys that are just their own, they share a lot of it. I also got the argueing between them both 'i didn't get that out he did' just leaves me wanting to pull my hair out!

I could quite easily punish whichever one doesn't do their bit (and i did) but it still leaves me with a half tidy room and then i can't carry out the black bag trick. Grr need to find something that works.

Is it fair to take a console away from them both when only one of them didn't help? I feel bad then

onlyroz

I think it's a bit much to expect a 5-year-old to be able to organise their toys in any sensible fashion. What you need are a few large plastic boxes for toys - and "tidying up" just means clearing the floor and putting the toys into the boxes. Try not to stress about order - it only matters to *you* that all the lego should go in one box and all the action figures go in another box - it doesn't matter to the kids at all (at least my boy doesn't care in the slightest that his toy box descends into a chaos of rubble). But at least you've got a floor clear of trip-hazards and chokables (and yes, I've caught my daughter choking more than once on bits of my son's toys. I stopped her only yesterday from trying to eat lego *again*)...

lindseykim13

onlyroz wrote: »

I think it's a bit much to expect a 5-year-old to be able to organise their toys in any sensible fashion. What you need are a few large plastic boxes for toys - and "tidying up" just means clearing the floor and putting the toys into the boxes. Try not to stress about order - it only matters to *you* that all the lego should go in one box and all the action figures go in another box - it doesn't matter to the kids at all (at least my boy doesn't care in the slightest that his toy box descends into a chaos of rubble). But at least you've got a floor clear of trip-hazards and chokables (and yes, I've caught my daughter choking more than once on bits of my son's toys. I stopped her only yesterday from trying to eat lego *again*)...

It's a very good suggestion and it doesn't matter really where the toys are to me as long as they are out of the way but it's does matter to them as they can't find a certain figure then and they tip the whole house upside down looking for it!
ds1 wants to build a certain lego model and can't find the peices etc then i get the grief lol

I'm beginning to wonder if the punishment thing is the right way to go and i should just do some star system because it seems whichever punishement i dish out for 1 of them the other gets effected by it to.

I guess this week is trial and error week and see which works best as i'm determined to crack this. We used to have a good system which worked before dd was born but gone down hill since then.

Floxxie

I thought it was just me that had to deal with messy children!

Having almost had a breakdown about the chaos of my house, I realised that my levels of tidiness are not the same as theirs. Now I ask them to take their toys from around the house to their rooms and then I ignore the state of their bedrooms; it's the only way I can stay sane by this compromise.

One day when I have finally cleaned the rest of the house, I shall make a start on their rooms :rotfl:

pukkamum

lindseykim13 wrote: »

It's a very good suggestion and it doesn't matter really where the toys are to me as long as they are out of the way but it's does matter to them as they can't find a certain figure then and they tip the whole house upside down looking for it!
ds1 wants to build a certain lego model and can't find the peices etc then i get the grief lol

I'm beginning to wonder if the punishment thing is the right way to go and i should just do some star system because it seems whichever punishement i dish out for 1 of them the other gets effected by it to.

I guess this week is trial and error week and see which works best as i'm determined to crack this. We used to have a good system which worked before dd was born but gone down hill since then.

In that case i would give them both a box and say they get a star for every say five or ten toys in it (depending on what the toys are) whoever has the most stars at the end of the day gets to choose a film, story whatever.
I would avoid giving money or new things as i don't think kids should only do things for monetry reward.
Also doing it daily as opposed to weekly means that the tidying is fresh in their mind.

This way there is only reward for tidying and no punishment for not.

izzybusy23

lindseykim13 wrote: »

I know it sounds a daft question, but my boys (8&5) have too many toys (problem 1) that they pull out upstairs and leave out, move onto the next lot of toys which they pull out and leave out.
I have a baby dd 9mths so can't go round all the time tidying their toys away as the other housework suffers.
I also work for myself so have to fit a few hours each day in for that somewhere.

I'm at the end of my tether now, each week i spend looking after the kids, cooking, cleaning as best i can. When the weekend gets here my DH has the baby so i can get on with any chores that didn't get done in the week and any work i need to catch up on.

The boys help with getting me stuff for the baby, but i seem to spend the whole weekend shouting at everyone to tidy their things away and i get to do nothing fun at all.

I used to pay them to do certain jobs, 50p for tidying their bedroom etc but that doesn't work anymore, then i started a treat bag with small cheap toys in so they could have a lucky dip when they'd done some jobs for me. None of these things interest them anymore and the jobs don't get done without a lot of shouting and nagging from me. Which i have lost the energy to do constantly.

Every few months we have a toy sort out everything gets tidied and has it's own box etc after a few weeks though things are in the wrong places and the floor is covered in clothes and toys to the point where it looks like we've been burgled :eek:

It's a vicious circle by the time i've done one room and moved onto the next they have pulled out all the toys in the previous room.
I'm not a nag i don't mind the odd toybox out in their rooms but when you can't move someones going to fall and get hurt. How do i get them to be more organised without having a mental breakdown in the process?

I have a similar problem, but with my DD its clothes. She pulls all her clothes out of her wardrobe, changes god knows how many times a day then stuffs them all back in the bottom of her wardrobe after me telling her to tidy up and never puts them back on the hangers., so I end up washing all the clothes because I don't know if they are clean or dirty. Drives me insane!!! We have a weekly barney over it; she sits there in a huff because I've asked her to put her clothes back which winds me up even more. I am sick of doing it.. so I would love any tips too!

lindseykim13

izzybusy23 wrote: »

I have a similar problem, but with my DD its clothes. She pulls all her clothes out of her wardrobe, changes god knows how many times a day then stuffs them all back in the bottom of her wardrobe after me telling her to tidy up and never puts them back on the hangers., so I end up washing all the clothes because I don't know if they are clean or dirty. Drives me insane!!! We have a weekly barney over it; she sits there in a huff because I've asked her to put her clothes back which winds me up even more. I am sick of doing it.. so I would love any tips too!

:rotfl:
This happens too to us, i go to attempt a room sort out and find piles of clothes in all sorts of places. I have no idea what clean or not and my washing pile has never gone down from overflowing point.
I've started getting rid of a lot of clothes, anything that is holey or too grubby goes in the rag charity bin. I've found the more clothes we have the more likely it's going to sit in the huge washing pile. If it's in there then it's not getting worn anyway. So my aim is to stop buying clothes until i have found everything out of the pile/under things!

BitterAndTwisted

izzybusy23 wrote: »

I have a similar problem, but with my DD its clothes. She pulls all her clothes out of her wardrobe, changes god knows how many times a day then stuffs them all back in the bottom of her wardrobe after me telling her to tidy up and never puts them back on the hangers., so I end up washing all the clothes because I don't know if they are clean or dirty. Drives me insane!!! We have a weekly barney over it; she sits there in a huff because I've asked her to put her clothes back which winds me up even more. I am sick of doing it.. so I would love any tips too!

If you can't tell by looking at them then to my mind those clothes are clean. Usually, if something has only been tried on or worn for an hour or two I reckon it's still clean.

Depending on how old your daughter is, I'd consider warning her that any clothes not hung back up after being tried on/worn for five minutes will be removed permanently. Once she's down to only one pair trousers, one skirt and one dress there won't be any more of this getting changed malarky. it's either that or leaving the stuff where it's flung and just letting go of it for the sake of your mental health

Caroline73_2

As lego is particular problem, get them to tip the box out onto a sheet/tablecloth. they can easily search for specific bits and it is so much easier to tidy away as the contents of the sheet can just be tipped back into the box.

pingua

The other week I had a friend round and we blitzed the place. Can't tell you how many bags went to the tip/charity. A few in the garage that I am not ready to let go of . Have had a tidy house since and the kids have not noticed how much has gone !!!!!!

You have to be ruthless but its so worth it.
I mean how many toys do they need????