How do i get the kids to tidy their toys away!

lindseykim13

I know it sounds a daft question, but my boys (8&5) have too many toys (problem 1) that they pull out upstairs and leave out, move onto the next lot of toys which they pull out and leave out.
I have a baby dd 9mths so can't go round all the time tidying their toys away as the other housework suffers.
I also work for myself so have to fit a few hours each day in for that somewhere.

I'm at the end of my tether now, each week i spend looking after the kids, cooking, cleaning as best i can. When the weekend gets here my DH has the baby so i can get on with any chores that didn't get done in the week and any work i need to catch up on.

The boys help with getting me stuff for the baby, but i seem to spend the whole weekend shouting at everyone to tidy their things away and i get to do nothing fun at all.

I used to pay them to do certain jobs, 50p for tidying their bedroom etc but that doesn't work anymore, then i started a treat bag with small cheap toys in so they could have a lucky dip when they'd done some jobs for me. None of these things interest them anymore and the jobs don't get done without a lot of shouting and nagging from me. Which i have lost the energy to do constantly.

Every few months we have a toy sort out everything gets tidied and has it's own box etc after a few weeks though things are in the wrong places and the floor is covered in clothes and toys to the point where it looks like we've been burgled :eek:

It's a vicious circle by the time i've done one room and moved onto the next they have pulled out all the toys in the previous room.
I'm not a nag i don't mind the odd toybox out in their rooms but when you can't move someones going to fall and get hurt. How do i get them to be more organised without having a mental breakdown in the process?

Lady_S

Bin them if they don't put them away,you will only have to do it once before they realise you mean business.

pinkshoes

As above - threaten a room inspection, and any toys not tidied away will be binned! (obviously you'll just put them in a box away in your wardrobe...)

minimoneysaver

Do they like to play a on a games console? If they are into PS2 or whatever it is now, I would remove the controllers. Really easy for you to do and will get your point across without nagging them. When they have done the chores that you need doing, they get the controllers back. The thing is, at first you do a warnings system.
1 'Please can you tidy away your toys?'
2 'Please tidy away your toys
3 If the job isn't done, say no more and remove the games controllers or DSLite etc
4 Children will very quickly moan etc, all you say is, 'I asked you to put away your toys' or whatever you asked them to do. 'You didn't do it, so you have lost your games controller, when you have cleaned up you will get your controllers back'
5 This isn't a debate or up for question or discussion. Your children will learn very quickly that actions or lack of them have conseqences. Many parents use far too many words now and children switch off. All you end up doing is giving yourself a headache.
Good luck if you choose to go down this route. I found it fantastic and was step mum to four older children!

pigpen

I have got a complete console ban running at the momentfor my 6 youngest.. their rooms are positively vulgar and at almost 8 months pregnant I simply cannot do it!

I give them a wash basket for their laundry.. and a binbag for the rubbish..

and a set time limit..

Whatever is NOT put away they obviously no longer want.. so binbag it!!! (put it in the garage/shed if you feel the need.. but usually I only have to put one item in the binbag and they race around manically picking everythnig up screeching about the injustice of life..

I need the weathe to be cooler before I can do it again.

I also found going through their toys box by box and getting rid/storing everything they no longer need/want/play with made it a lot tidier. Minimising the amount they have minimises first off the mess they CAN make.. it is also removes some of the choice so they play more with the few things they do have rather than dragging stuff out and discarding it.

A 10 minute dash about clearing stuff away at bed time works wonders too.. (send them up 10 minutes earlier and they think they are getting to stay up 10 minutes later.. ) it does keep on top of the worst of the mess.

lindseykim13

Some great suggestions thanks i have tried banning certain things but i find the oldest will start doing the job set because he doesn't want to loose the ds or ps2 but the youngest doesn't really care so he rolls around on the floor and refuses to help so it ends up in a fight between the pair of them because the youngest won't help. He doesn't seem fussed at what i take from him The eldest then looses any enthusiasm do to it because he will have to do the whole room himself

pigpen

Then they lose dessert!!!!! You try sitting there watching your big brother eat a bowl of ice cream and you can't have any because you haven't helped!

Or bribery works wonders.. do this and you can have... a trip to the park, a friend round for dinner etc (usually stuff we would do anyway but added incentive works)

I do find though with my 5 year old I have to literally TELL her what to pick up.. e.g. fill this wash basket for me.. put the books on the shelf.. and she can do that easily.. it seems to be deciding WHAT to do she has the block but once that choice has been removed she gets on with the others.. I do have to keep reminding them and popping in every 5 minutes or they stop though..

xmaslolly76

I have to say with the youngest one he always needed step by step instruction just telling him to go tidy his room did not compute as his idea of tidy and mine just didnt tally up. So he gets told now toys in the toy box, clothes in the draws unless dirty, books on the bookshelf. I also go with the bin bag routine anything he doesnt tidy up gets binned. My daughter is another kettle of fish entirely she can make a room look spotless until you dig a bit deeper some times i will let it slide as long as she hasnt shoved plates and glasses that grow into other life forms away other times i make her do a thorough job and she is getting better :-)

pigpen

DS1 used to just ram everything under the bed.. until I realised what he was doing and said great the floor is clear, well done.. now.. I need you to tidy under the bed!!!

RLH33

For our 5 year old we have a reward chart that has a number of items on it. He gets a sticker for doing each item and at the end of the day if he has lost 2 stickers then the spaceman doesn't move up the solar system (when he gets to the top he gets £5 to spend on what he wants).

Anyway one of the items is that he has to tidy his toys away before bedtime - works a treat - you only have to threaten that he will lose a sticker and hey presto it is all cleared up. He has now got into the habit of it so does it automatically every night.

I wish it worked so well on his other items though - listening to what he is being told is a particular problem item:D

GobbledyGook

Could you perhaps try splitting their toys into smaller boxes rather than 1 big one. This has made a massive difference to my daughters toys after it was suggested to me. We split everything into those plastic boxed with lids. She is allowed 4 at a time in the dining bit of our living room (I don't allow toys in bedrooms only books), but only 1 at a time open. If 2 are open everything gets put away for a few days because it's against the rules. I'm very strict that any toys not put away before bedtime get confiscated for a week and if I have to tidy ANY up then there's no toys tomorrow. It's possibly very harsh, but both of my girls are totally in the routine now and it's rare that I have to threaten to bin or put away any.

Also I tell them when it's 30 minutes until bedtime. They have a timer (for 15 minutes) that they turn over and once the timer goes off that means playtime is done and it's tidy time.