Need help NOW!! What am i entitled too from him?

viktory

Personally, I think the OP has done what a lot of people do on here - post the situation exactly as it is, get a load of stick and then trot out the sad story to justify it. Usually it involves domestic violence and some form of mental illness.

LilacLouisa

Person_one wrote: »

The OP said that the reason she isn't working is that her and her OH came to an agreement that she would be a SAHM to their daughter and that he would fund this. Now he longer wants to be with his wife, maybe he still wants what he previously thought was best for his child?

They created the child and bought the dogs together, intending to care for them together. They are still a joint responsibility, not just the OP's.

Did I say they weren`t a joint responsibility? We can`t really know what he wants unless he tells us can we? We could make all sorts of suppositions and possibly none would be right.

If he is paying what is judged to be right amount, I am afraid the op will have to cut her cloth accordingly, as most people do whether divorced or not.

peachyprice

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

. You are not entitled to any money via the CSA when he is on active duty.

Sorry to sideswipe your thread Lilac, but what on earth is the reason for this? Do they think life for those at home ends when their soldiers are on active service, that's apalling.

neneromanova

In a way I wouldn't divorce him. I would do everything to get away for a while and let him do his own things. He still sounds raw at the moment from losing his best friend. Hopefully, a couple of weeks/months down the line something will click in his brain and he will just suddenly get on with it and come out of hiding. You might need to look up when the changes for LHA are taking effect as I think the budget stated that LHA was being capped at £400 a week so that might have some effect on you.

LilacLouisa

peachyprice wrote: »

Sorry to sideswipe your thread Lilac, but what on earth is the reason for this? Do they think life for those at home ends when their soldiers are on active service, that's apalling.

No probs :-) I can't understand that at all. I have read quite a few books on the SAS, which I found fascinating, but what did come through is that the wives and partners of soldiers don't always seem to be given priority on a lot of things. That can't be good.

What I do find confusing about the op's post are these comments

"I am a SAHM with one 2 year old, and the only money i get myself is child benefit and £10 working tax credit (i think thats what it is!) a month. I HAVE NO SAVINGS OR BACK UP MONEY."

and

"We have both worked since aged 16, i saved enough not to work whilst my girl was still young, providing he still worked hence the not claimed benefits before, things happen and i have to look out for me and my daughter."

So has she spent her savings and would now be looking for a job in any case?

cheepskate_2

So much for kicking a man when he's down. I thought marrage was about supporting each other in time of need. This is his time of need and you seem after 10 weeks of hell (only one side of a story to go on) seem to want to kick him even harder to the curb.

This man is going through a total breakdown/psycological crisis and all you can think about is how much HE will support you financially.

thorsoak

Tallblondie - don't panic - what is he going to take you to court for? Caring too much for him?

He's obviously in a very bad place at the moment, so if you really think that there is a chance for your marriage, is it worth battening down the hatches and stay put? Or will that be too upsetting for your daughter?

Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

coldstreamalways

Was his friend killed on active service? Or was he a civilian friend?

Loopy_Girl

woody01 wrote: »

Its so sad that you are trying to slaughter the poor sod for every penny he has got.

Woody, you are bang out of order with that comment...where is it said that she is 'trying to slaughter the poor sod for every penny'?

What is it with you and people claiming child support that they are entitled to?

Not every penny - just 15% of his income.

Christ, one minute you are whining about your 'allegedly' large monthly tax bill being used for benefit claimaints and then you think that aforementioned tax money should only be used for bringing children up with no contribution from the other parent...make your mind up.

There is no need to be so bloody vile to everyone. You paying tax doesn't make anyone any less of a better person that you.

dotstar24

property.advert wrote: »

Another burden on the state for years to come no doubt.

Bloated welfare state makes this so easy to do, split up and hold your hand out for freebies.

have a day off...seriously.