Family drama - scared for my Sister.

Blade26

I was hoping some of you more experienced Forummers would be able to help me.

My Sister has been seeing this guy who she told at the beginning of the week that she was sick of the way he was treating her and that he wasnt to stop at her house anymore as he wasnt welcome. They have been seeing each other for 2 years, before this they were together for 5 years with a 2 year break where he got someone pregnant and lived with another woman, a really charmer!

Anyway he worked away so my Sister never gave him a key to the house and he has not paid a penny towards anything in the last 2 years, and has come round on a Friday after work and left on a Monday morning.

He came back to the hometown on Friday and my Sister told him to come round and collect his stuff, which he never did, she went out with her friends for a couple of hours came home and went to bed, my nephews (eldest aged 16) were already in bed. He rocks up at 2.30am absolutely hammered, tried to get in through the door, my sister told him to go away and come back today when he was sober. She thought he had gone, but no, he was in the back garden and had got stepladders and was trying to get in through my nephews bedroom window. My nephew told him to go away and wouldnt open the window, so he took the ladder round the front and tried to get in my sisters bedroom window, my sister tried shutting the windows, but he got his fingers around the sides of the window which was on a fire hinge, and in his temper trying to get it open, the hinge sprained and the window flew backwards towards him and he has fallen from the ladder breaking his pelvis and his hip.

By this time the police had been called and he tried to tell the police that my sister had pushed him, which she didnt and has been backed up by neighbours who had heard him creating and had witnessed what had happened. The police havent taken any action against my sister, but I am wondering what if anythign we could do to make sure that there are no repercussions?

My Dad has been round and changed the door locks, evne though he didnt have a key you cant be too careful. He was apparently screaming that he was going to make a claim against her, but I cant see how he could. Should my sister report this to her house insurers just incase??

Its all such a mess, I am just glad that he has finally shown his true colours and that the person we could all see my sister has now seen. But I am concerned about her fragile state of mind, as he has erroded her self confidence so much that she feels worthless, I guess in a way its a form of domestic abuse.

Sorry for rambling, but this is the first big family drama we have had since my Mum passed away in February and she would usually be the one sorting things out

Thanks

Blade26

clearingout

She should consider a Non-Molestation Order (an injunction) to keep him away from her. Obviously, he's not going to be much of a problem for the next few weeks or months, but he clearly wasn't trying to enter the house for 'good' reasons.

I would suggest she sees a solicitor who specialises in domestic abuse/family issues and tells them what happened - many will do a first half hour free. You can get advice from several in that way if you need to! Write down questions before hand. Ask the solicitor about telling insurers etc. as I don't know what the answer to that might be. The fact the police aren't taking actions speaks very loudly but I don't know if he might have a personal injury claim - might be worth seeing a specialist solicitor for that eventuality - they seem to work on the no win, no fee basis so you would hope to get a free consultation in the first place.

I am sure your sister is shocked and upset. Have a trawl of some domestic violence websites and see if you can pick out bits for her to read that might ring true with her situation. I would have said that I had a good marriage but when my ex left and we had some distance, I realised that he was very, very controlling and manipulative and had done dreadful things to my confidence. It soon came back, happy to say!

xmaslolly76

Your poor sister at least she has seen his true colours now. Has your sister asked if the police can charge him with anything surely there must be he was trying to break in to her property for all intense and purpose and at the very least he was disturbing the peace.

I would personally say the threats of trying to claim were drunken ramblings from a bloke who has had his ego (as well as his body) bruised good and proper and just wanted to frighten her.

I hope everything works out and you have finally seen the back of him. As for his things can one of you bag them up and take them to a friend/family memeber of his to be collected so he has no excuse to come back?

Molly41

I cant imagine that the bloke has a leg to stand on (literally) as he fell off a ladder trying to gain access to a house that wasn't his. Even if you sister did push him (which Im not suggesting she did at all) then surely this is classed as protecting her property or self defence!!

thorsoak

1. The house is her house - he has no right of possession.
2. He was not invited in - he had no right of access
3. He was up a ladder, drunk, in the middle of the night - and he fell off.

Of course, any solicitor is going to take instructions from him to claim damages from your sister .... not!!

As someone else said - even before he broke his leg - he doesn't have one to stand on.

Your dad has changed the locks - good. Your sister should ask the police about the non-molestation order - and possibly talk to the local Women's Aid who should be able to offer practical suggestions/support that hasn't already been offered here.

What a horrible thing to happen - but she will be well-rid of him.

pigpen

Totally agree with everyone else he was competely in the wrong and he can scream and create all he likes but any solicitor in their right mind would say.. why were you up the ladder trying to gain entry to a house that is not yours!! ??

I would be the one pressing charges if I were your sister.. against his abuse, trying to gain entry, damaging property.

One good thing is he won't be about for a while with a broken pelvis and leg.. he does deserve every twinge of pain he gets over that one.. so she has time to set things in motion to keep him away.

I hope she finds someone who makes her happy when she is feeling better!

And I WOULD have pushed him!! Cheeky gitbag!!

paddy's_mum

Don't you just love 'natural justice'? :j

(Hope things calm down now for your poor sister and her children.)

mrcow

Has she still got any of his stuff?

If so, tell her to pack up the lot of it and drop it round the nearest police station with a contact number for him. Given the circumstances, it's best she has no contact with him at all.

laurel7172

If there are witnesses, why haven't the police charged HIM with the attempted break-in?

mikey72

Rights or wrongs won't really matter.
He has been staying with your sister in the past by the sound of your post.
I assume he didn't bring the ladder with him, so it was you sisters.
It was your sisters window he fell from, after several goes at other windows, so she may have have chance to secure it and didn't.
If she has legal advice on her home insurance she needs to contact them, as I'm sure he'll be contacting an ambulance chaser on a no win no fee.
Speak to the insurance company anyway.

Person_one

I'm alarmed at the fact that he tried to get in through your nephew's window! How old is your nephew? How incredibly alarming for a child to have to deal with an angry grown man trying to get in his bedroom window in the dead of night, its the stuff of nightmares! I hope the poor boy isn't too traumatised.