How to behave ?

Britwife

I wouldn't react at all. For your sanity, you're going to have to go on as it never happened. After all, this was 2 years ago and he may have changed. Just do your job and remain proffessional and never bring up the past.

I realize this has affected you but in the grand scheme of things in life, it wasn't that major. Your main concern is you hun along with your job and not him. He is pond scum and you are better than that obviously.

BitterAndTwisted

Mupette wrote: »

But what if he turns this around and makes like hell and makes out you are carp at your job as payback?

Is there anyone you can speak to (HR) so that they have it on record about the past just in case he takes a dislike (workwise) to you?

But what if he doesn't acknowledge the past and does behave completely professionally from now on? Having gone to HR about a situation which occurred before the OP started working for this firm and is not their concern would only blot her own copybook, not the new manager's.

Sometimes it's best to expect the best behaviour from other people and not anticipate problems where there is no evidence that there will be any, otherwise some of us wouldn't be able to get up in the morning for fretting. We all have to deal with situations as they actually are, not what we think they might become.

ukjoel

TeetersOnHeels wrote: »

a bloke at work pestered & pestered me to go out with him.Usually by text, sometimes email at work.

Fantastic.

Make sure when he sends the emails you not only keep them but also forward them to a non work account ie hotmail or Gmail where the company IT administrators will not be able to access. Also print off copies as they come in.

Make sure you keep all txts as well.

If he does this again you have him by the balls. Make sure you give him enough rope to hang himself. One email asking you for a date is unliklely to be seen as harrassment (although may contravene various office policies) 12 emails is a much better case.

TeetersOnHeels

Thanks for the replies...
We all work for the governement, so it's all the same 'company', although in a different location. To be honest don't think he will pester as such - he was well aware that I was not impressed by his behaviour, and knew I wasn't speaking to him because of this.
I'm just a bit cheesed off that the job I've got and really enjoy is now going to bring me into contact with him again, and I know I'll feel uncomfortable in his company.
He's not changed, still playing around behind his GF's back. He's a bit like Marmite..loved, or hated - so I won't be on my own in not relishing his arrival next week.

mackemdave

Mupette wrote: »

Good advice from everyone...

But what if he turns this around and makes like hell and makes out you are carp at your job as payback?

Is there anyone you can speak to (HR) so that they have it on record about the past just incase he takes a dislike (workwise) to you?

Totally agree that you should get this recorded with HR before the guy starts and then if there is a problem he will be the one that is probably on probahation for his new job

BitterAndTwisted

As long as your current boss knows all about what happened before then if this joker starts over-stepping the mark again you'll have an ally to back you up (I hope).

I don't suppose you kept any of the previous correspondence between the two of you at the time, did you?

TeetersOnHeels

I didn't keep anything. A couple of friends I work with saw the texts and email..Including the friend who told his GF that he'd lied to her, and it was actually him pestering me.
My boss is a lovely man..but doesn't like confrontation - think thats why he was hoping I wouldn't do anything before.
Our head of personnel knows, she actually interviewed him for the job, on a panel with others. He came second, but then another vacancy came up due to someone leaving through ill health.

the_cat

How to behave?

I would take the very good advice on here to remain totally professional, have as little to do with him as possible and be on the lookout for any future problem (and def taking copies of anything he sends, although I doubt that he will)

If he is the sort who will 'scout' the office for suitable conquests, your previous rejections will have struck you off the list of potentials. He will be far too busy making himself available to those stupid enough to get drawn in.

Treat him with the contempt he deserves. However he made you feel at the time, this pathetic excuse for a man is of no consequence to you. Every encounter with him should be aloof and offhand, without being rude. Show him how unimportant he is!