Divorce question - advice very gratefully received

peanutpie05

Would be extremely grateful of any comments/suggestions or to hear from anyone who has had a similar experience.

My husband left the family home in Nov 2008 and in spring of 2009 we went online (through wikivorce) and purchased a fixed price divorce package. I put a petition together to apply for divorce based on the grounds of his unreasonable behaviour.

I deliberately kept the first petition very vague becasue i just didn;t want to 'bare all' so i'm not surprised they rejected it. The second application however was very detailed. I provided masses of information which supported my argument of his unreasonable behavious very well. Again the courts rejected it saying they felt we were a case of 'incompatibility':mad:

Even the solicitor handling my divorce said he was shocked they had not allowed it based on my petition.

Anyway ... we are now faced with having to do the divorce based on 2 years separation.

The solictor, however, is saying that to do that they must 'withdraw' the original divorce application (something to do with getting my original marriage certificate back). He also says that to do this - the cost falls OUTSIDE of the fixed price divorce that i paid for and so they will have ot charge me £200 to do the withdrawal [shocked].

I'm gutted ... right now my house is falling apart and the kids are eating me out of house and home ... so i really don't feel that i should go down the route of throwing yet more money at this blasted divorce.

Does anyone know if i can just bypass the solictors at this point and make the application to withdraw directly to the courts? Right now i'm wishing the ex and i had just gone down to the courthouse and sorted this divorce out ourselves ... because £200 for the solicitor to write a letter seems to me to be completely ridiculous.

In an ideal world i think i'd just do the whole thing myself now ... no solicitors at all. Has anyone else done this?

Thanks in advance

JoJoB

This might help:

http://www.ehow.com/how_6073363_withdraw-divorce-petition.html

galvanizersbaby

peanutpie05 wrote: »

Would be extremely grateful of any comments/suggestions or to hear from anyone who has had a similar experience.

My husband left the family home in Nov 2008 and in spring of 2009 we went online (through wikivorce) and purchased a fixed price divorce package. I put a petition together to apply for divorce based on the grounds of his unreasonable behaviour.

I deliberately kept the first petition very vague becasue i just didn;t want to 'bare all' so i'm not surprised they rejected it. The second application however was very detailed. I provided masses of information which supported my argument of his unreasonable behavious very well. Again the courts rejected it saying they felt we were a case of 'incompatibility':mad:

Even the solicitor handling my divorce said he was shocked they had not allowed it based on my petition.

Anyway ... we are now faced with having to do the divorce based on 2 years separation.

The solictor, however, is saying that to do that they must 'withdraw' the original divorce application (something to do with getting my original marriage certificate back). He also says that to do this - the cost falls OUTSIDE of the fixed price divorce that i paid for and so they will have ot charge me £200 to do the withdrawal [shocked].

I'm gutted ... right now my house is falling apart and the kids are eating me out of house and home ... so i really don't feel that i should go down the route of throwing yet more money at this blasted divorce.

Does anyone know if i can just bypass the solictors at this point and make the application to withdraw directly to the courts? Right now i'm wishing the ex and i had just gone down to the courthouse and sorted this divorce out ourselves ... because £200 for the solicitor to write a letter seems to me to be completely ridiculous.

In an ideal world i think i'd just do the whole thing myself now ... no solicitors at all. Has anyone else done this?

Thanks in advance

Hi

I thought that you could do pretty much all of it yourself nowdays if it is straight forward and you are both in agreement?

Myself and ex husband just went to the court and got the forms ourselves and completed them together - there was no involvement from a solicitor at all.

peachyprice

Yep, we did a DIY divorce too, including children and property. Ex got all the forms etc then got a friend who is a solicitor to give them a quick once over, but they were all fine.

Pee

It is possible to do it yourself, but you seem to be unable to do it yourself as the first petition was rejected - this is where the extra costs are coming from. I suggest you pay the £200 and get it done properly. Worth the price to get everything finalised so that you can move on.

wannabe_sybil

You may find it helpful to speak to the court staff. It is nearly fifteen years since I last worked on a divorce section at the courts, but I hope my suggestions are a useful starting point.

You (or your solicitors) have issued a divorce petition on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour. The judge has refused to allow the divorce on these grounds. Did he strike out the petition? The court staff should be able to tell you this. If the entire petition has been thrown out then there is no current divorce and you could start again from scratch.

If the judge just refused to grant the nisi on the evidence given then the divorce is still hanging around in limbo. I don't know what examples you gave, but behaviour was normally (back in the olden days) something like domestic violence or your husband running off with another man. Most solicitors can tweak the 'always left the seat up' into something that a judge accepts and after issuing over a thousand petitions this is only the second time that I have ever heard of behaviour being refused.

If you want to change the grounds behind 'irretrievable breakdown' then (this is where my advice is best triple checked) my understanding is that you could either apply to withdraw the petition or apply to change the grounds. It is likely that you would need to withdraw the petition. Don't rely on that as cast iron.

The court staff will NOT be able to give legal advice but they should be able to tell you the procedure to withdraw the petition. There will be a fee unless you qualify for fee exemption/reduction. You may have to attend a hearing or it may be able to be dealt with just by a judge reading papers. If you want the marriage certificate returned you should ask for it.

£200 is a lot of money (to me anyway) but most solicitors charge over £100 per hour plus the fee to lodge the application, and it is likely to be unfamiliar territory to the court staff and CAB. So it could be a bargain.

If you and your ex are really going to be able to agree on this, and you are happy re the money side of things, I would suggest you pay the sols to withdraw the petition and then do the divorce yourself. If it is amicable then it is not too difficult.

I hope it all works out for you.

kegg_2

Do the withdrawl of the old divorce application and issue the new one yourself.

2 years with content is easy as you just have to give the date of seperation and then he agrees with it when he returns the acknowledgement of service.

No need to spend out extra money on a solictor.

NAR

Unless you need to avoid spelling mistakes!

kegg_2

NAR wrote: »

Unless you need to avoid spelling mistakes!

i never claimed to be able to spell nor do i blame it on being dyslexic as i am not.
The simple truth is i am not great at spelling and i am too lazy to bother using a spell check on what is just an internet forum where i will lurk when i have nothing better to do.


On a side issue i did spend 14 years in working for the court service and have helped many complete a divorce form. It is simple to do and the court staff although they can not give advice will help and explain the forms. So why waste money on a solicitor if you can do it yourself?

looby75

sorry to hijack your thread peanutpie for a moment (hope you don't mind) but does anyone here know is a decree nisi "runs out"

I am in the process of divorcing my ex, I got the nisi a couple of years ago but never got round to going to the court to file for the absolute, no particular reason other than ill health and life just getting in the way iykwim.

Will I have to start from scratch or can I just get the absolute when I finally get round to it?


Hope you get your divorce sorted soon Peanutpie.

kegg_2

looby75 wrote: »

sorry to hijack your thread peanutpie for a moment (hope you don't mind) but does anyone here know is a decree nisi "runs out"

I am in the process of divorcing my ex, I got the nisi a couple of years ago but never got round to going to the court to file for the absolute, no particular reason other than ill health and life just getting in the way iykwim.

Will I have to start from scratch or can I just get the absolute when I finally get round to it?


Hope you get your divorce sorted soon Peanutpie.

no it doesn't run out but will have to explain the delay and confirm you have not lived together.