Thurs 24th June*I want to be watching Wimbldon* daily chat

Butti

littlemisschocolate wrote: »

**wishes she was at Glastonbury!**

Butti **would also like to be at Glastonbury but will settle for a snog or two in Edinburgh at the weekend**

Butti

lizzie_b wrote: »

I really do...I wasnt expecting to hear until at least early next week, they said up to 5 days.
Couldnt believe it when the manager phoned me up at half past 5!!
xxx

:T:T:T:T:T:T

That was a REALLY quick decision. You must have shone out.

B

littlemisschocolate

Ohh Butti, here's hoping you get a plethera of snogs at the weekend!

tenmah

Feeling really down tonight. I visited a tenant today (I work for the local authority) and she just kicked off - all directed at me! She was really shouting at the top of her voice, calling me a lying toad, saying she would get rid of me if she was my boss, that I was useless at my job and then the worst of all was when she said she thought Hitler was a liar but she would believe him over me anyday.

I was also stroking her dog and she hissed at me to leave her dog alone. She said a lot more to me as well but would take me all night to write it down.

Honestly I felt so small and humilated. I was there with a manager (not mine, but still a manager) and I kept thinking he will step in in a minute and tell her not to talk to me that way, but he didn't. There were two workmen there as well and I just felt embarrassed in front of them.

The worst thing was that I was there helping her and providing an adaptation that would make her life easier, but because it wasn't what she was wanting she just lashed out at me.

I came home and cried.......the thing is I have come off my anti depressants this week after six years and was feeling really proud of myself, so that could be the reason I was upset or it could just be the fact that she was shouting in my face!!

Butti

tenmah wrote: »

Hitler was a liar but she would believe him over me anyday.

Honestly I felt so small and humilated. I was there with a manager (not mine, but still a manager) and I kept thinking he will step in in a minute and tell her not to talk to me that way, but he didn't. There were two workmen there as well and I just felt embarrassed in front of them.

I came home and cried.......the thing is I have come off my anti depressants this week after six years and was feeling really proud of myself, so that could be the reason I was upset or it could just be the fact that she was shouting in my face!!

I don't know Tenmah, it could be several things that really upset you including flashbacks to times when this happened to you as a child. What is horribly obvious is that you were being attacked and nobody came to support you or even to say that this was unacceptable behaviour. It's like she was the elephant in the room.

It's horrible when you are attacked or threatened (verbally or otherwise) and everyone pretends that it is not happening. It is humiliating and it is threatening and it is very difficult to deal with. I don't know whether you feel able to say anything to your boss or whether it will just upset you again.

I would check whether there is a procedure to deal with this situation. I know in my last authority you could just tell them that if they continued to talk like that to you then you were leaving.

B

tenmah

Thanks Butti

I might say something tomorrow. The manager gave me a lift back afterwards and said you got to laugh haven't you, and of course I agreed because I am pathetic (inside I was thinking NO you don't)

littlemisschocolate

**Hands Tenmah a box of tissues, a glass of wine and a large bar of chocolate!**

I don't know what to say, apart from your manager needs to grow a set of balls and stand up for their staff!

It's probably for the best to say something to your boss tomorrow. Maybe they were just as shocked as you, I promise I'm not making excuses for them.

Also congratulations on coming off of anti-depressants after 6 years, that must have been a massive step for you and well done.

Try and keep focusing on the positives.

Hugs and many more.

LMCx

tenmah

Thanks LMC - hopefully I will be able to just put it behind me, but I don't think I will be visiting that particular tenant again!

Butti

tenmah wrote: »

Thanks Butti

The manager gave me a lift back afterwards and said you got to laugh haven't you,

I am fairly sure Tenmah, assuming you work for a housing provider, there will not be a bit in the HR bullying and harrassment manual /dealing with difficult tenants manual that says 'When you're staff are being treated with a complete lack of respect or being threatened with verbal abuse, you've just got to laugh'. Nobody intervened in a threatening situation to protect you and he should have done.

Everywhere these days there are posters saying 'Our staff deserve to be treated with respect'. You weren't, he did nothing about it.
You are not pathetic - it's just difficult to know how to deal with these situations especially when the manager has blended into the wallpaper.

B

scaredy_cat

also write a report about her behaviour, tenmah, give it to your manager as an abusive tenant and flatly refuse to deal with her agian.