Couldn't afford a school trip and I feel guilty

angelicmary85

spadoosh wrote: »

When i was 14 i asked santa clause for a ps2. On xmas eve i went into front room and my mum was crying her eyes out. She struggled to tell me that she had ordered it from a catalogue and it wouldnt turn up, she was devastated. It was heart renching knowing that i'd caused her to be so upset and made me realise the burden me n big sis put her under. Knowing how much it bothered her not giving me what i wanted made me realise how kool mums are!

I read that and immediately thought of my dad.

He called us all in together one xmas eve and started crying because he didn't think he'd got us enough for xmas. We all started crying aswell because we'd never seen dad cry before.

Roll on xmas morning and we were amazed at what we'd got. They'd spent alot of money on us but it didn't look very much.

We never really asked for much for xmas after that

athensgeorgia

Wine_of_the_World wrote: »

I've just had a quick read throught this - perhaps you have come across totally wrong but it seems you can afford to send your daughter on a trip - but only if it's only for gifted children -overwise you wont bother??

I did mean it like that but not worded very well. I meant if its a trip just for enjoyment that shes shown interest in then I know its not something we can easily afford.

I'd try and find the money for it e.g shop a little thriftier or do even more overtime if its something shes been specifically singled out for because of her abilities. I want to encourage her and if this is for extra learning then its something i'd consider.

As it happens I spoke to various people yesterday at School. Her class teacher didn't really know a lot about it but said from the letters he gave out it is the better performing children who got a letter. When I spoke to the school office they said they have a list of children called the Gifted and Able list and DD was on it. They chose 5 Children out of each class from the top of the list and each class has 2 places allocated to them. The places for the learning day are on a first come first served basis.

Having had the letter since Wednesday which needed paying Asap I'm still in 2 minds about what to do. As I said I want to encourage extra learning as her teacher said they need gifted children who can handle the extra work it takes which some children might struggle with. I think this is where the guilt kicks in again. My child has been chosen because shes obviously capable and i want her to benefit from it but I can't really justify so much money thats why i'd have to rejuggle our finances.

School are all for this fantastic opportunity shes been offered but i don't think they realise that £38 is just an awful lot of money for us at the moment. Especially when a weeks worth of shopping for 5 of us is less than £60.

I'm so confused what the right thing to do is.

JC9297

athensgeorgia wrote: »

I did mean it like that but not worded very well. I meant if its a trip just for enjoyment that shes shown interest in then I know its not something we can easily afford.

I'd try and find the money for it e.g shop a little thriftier or do even more overtime if its something shes been specifically singled out for because of her abilities. I want to encourage her and if this is for extra learning then its something i'd consider.

As it happens I spoke to various people yesterday at School. Her class teacher didn't really know a lot about it but said from the letters he gave out it is the better performing children who got a letter. When I spoke to the school office they said they have a list of children called the Gifted and Able list and DD was on it. They chose 5 Children out of each class from the top of the list and each class has 2 places allocated to them. The places for the learning day are on a first come first served basis.

Having had the letter since Wednesday which needed paying Asap I'm still in 2 minds about what to do. As I said I want to encourage extra learning as her teacher said they need gifted children who can handle the extra work it takes which some children might struggle with. I think this is where the guilt kicks in again. My child has been chosen because shes obviously capable and i want her to benefit from it but I can't really justify so much money thats why i'd have to rejuggle our finances.

School are all for this fantastic opportunity shes been offered but i don't think they realise that £38 is just an awful lot of money for us at the moment. Especially when a weeks worth of shopping for 5 of us is less than £60.

I'm so confused what the right thing to do is.

If the reason you are struggling to meet the cost is because you are on a low income surely the school can help you with it. If you have no money to spare because you are paying off debts then probably not. If it is the former then you should explain that you would love your daughter to benefit from the opportunity but your financial situation means that you cannot meet the (full) cost.

jamespir

i dont think you need to feel guilty if you cant affford it i would be doing exactly the same my parents did the same too

athensgeorgia

JC9297 wrote: »

If the reason you are struggling to meet the cost is because you are on a low income surely the school can help you with it. If you have no money to spare because you are paying off debts then probably not. If it is the former then you should explain that you would love your daughter to benefit from the opportunity but your financial situation means that you cannot meet the (full) cost.

Unfortunately its already subsidised by school the total cost is £72 and we pay half school pays half. I can't see school helping us out when its a first come first served kinda thing in case any of the other children's parents who were offered a place can pay the full asking amount. IYSWIM

thorsoak

Is there any chance that you could tell the school that you would like your daughter to have this opportunity, but due to your tight budget, you would only be able to pay the £38 in weekly instalments of, say £5? Might be worth asking ...

athensgeorgia

thorsoak wrote: »

Is there any chance that you could tell the school that you would like your daughter to have this opportunity, but due to your tight budget, you would only be able to pay the £38 in weekly instalments of, say £5? Might be worth asking ...

I will do the worst they can say is No, It might relieve some of the pressure to do it that way.