Concerned Parent or fighting their battles for them?

Kay_Peel

I had exactly the same dilemma but my son was 22!

I kept telling him that something wasn't quite right about the recruitment process. He's fairly assertive and can look after his own life, but he took some convincing that the recruitment office wasn't as efficient and supportive as he thought it was.

A turning point came when he took a phone call asking him why he had failed to turn up for an interview. :eek: He ran across to the recruitment office (luckily it was just across the road from where he worked) and made it just in time. He asked to see a copy of the letter that had been sent to him, inviting him to the interview, and saw that it had been sent to the wrong address and to someone with the same surname but different Christian name.

The senior officer interviewing him apologised for the hiccup - but that wasn't all. The papers in front of the officer had my son down as a 17 year old who had left school without qualifications, rather than a graduate.

It opened my son's eyes to the fact that you can't leave your fate to other people and you can't assume anything. He took more control. In fact, he made a bleddy nuisance of himself by turning up once or twice a week to see how things were progressing. (No wonder they found a position for him pretty quickly! :rotfl:)

He's been in the army for nearly 9 months now and I find the dedicated Armed Forces Board very, very useful in finding out information which I can feed back to him so that he is in a better position to stand up for himself.

Knowledge is power.

Having said all that, I've been on the wrong end of an irate mum who didn't like the fact that I had to keep her son on duty because of a major incident (police). It was his birthday, apparently.

I knew he'd be mortified and I never mentioned the ear-bashing to him at the time. When he saw me the next day he was red-faced and I told him not to worry, that I was sorry he'd had to miss his party but he had chosen this life and there would be further sacrifices ahead of him as a police officer.

It's very difficult for a 17 year old to challenge a mighty organisation like the Army and intimidatingly confident forces' personnel - but there's no harm in Mum's seeking advice and opinions from the Armed Services Board, I think.

mountainofdebt

thanks kay - that's exactly where I am coming from.

That forces board has been very useful - both in terms of finding out what should happen when and during this uncertain time.....as you say knowledge is power.