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Have I committed fraud?? Please help!
helliesin
Posts: 146 Forumite
Ok, its a long one... and I just wrote it all accidently lost it so I am losing the will tonight....
I split from the father of my dd's in 2007 when I was pregnant with dd2. The realtionship turned abusive and he left me with over £20000 in debt, in my name but all for things he had. He wasn't working at the time, and he told me he was going abroad to live. when he left we had an informal agreement that he would give me some money as and when he could to try and cover his debts and to help with the mortgage. Since then he (or I thought, his mum) had made irregular deposits of irregular amounts into my current account and transferred the mortgage money to my dad- my dad and I have a joint mortgage which I am responsible for paying, but it come from his account as he wants to make sure it gets paid on time every month so as not to affect his credit rating if I make late payments. Ex and I had no contact, except from him coming to register dd2s birth and the very occasional phone call to dd1. Post still came for him (just 1 or 2 letters a week), and I just collected it up and put it through his mum's door when i was in the area.
I made a single claim for tax credits, correctly declaring my wages and childcare costs. I did not declare these random amounts of money from ex as it only asked for maintenance, csa and other benefits that I claim. As i do not get any of these, and I have no idea how to calculate money from ex as I dont know if, when or how much is coming, I have no idea how i could have declared it.
After i submitted my renewal I received a letter asking me to provide:
- utility bills
- childcare invoices
- details of other adults living in the house
I posted off all of these documents. someone suggested that this could have been because of ex's post coming to my address, and from then I started returning it to sender. A few weeks passed.
Last week they returned my documents, with a covering letter asking for:
- bank/building society statements
- documents to prove where ex is living
- details of cars registered at my property
- documents to prove ex and I have seperated
I called the number on the letter, and spoke to a horrible lady who asked me loads of details about my realtionship with ex and told me I was silly to have let him have use my address for post. I told her that I have no documents to prove I have seperated as we never had anything to officially/financially make us a couple. I also told her that as far as I know ex was living abroad and I have no idea of an address. She then told me that HM Revenue and Customs have him registered at my address which meant he must be living and working in the uk. This came as a bit of a shock. She the questioned why I hadn't submitted the bank statements when they were originally requested in the first letter, and I told her that I was sure that they weren't. She insisted that they were requested in the first letter and that I had incriminated myself further by not providing them.
That evenig I spoke to ex's mum when she phoned to speak to dd's, and I told her what had happened.
A few days days ago, ex turns up on doorstep, with the excuse that his mum told him about the post. To cut a long story short, he is coming home (he moved some stuff back of the weekend) with a view to rebuilding a relationship with dd's and trying again with our relationship. On thursday I phoned the tax credits office and told them, as I am so scared of getting into any more trouble and I knew he would be staying over at the weekend. I got the same horrible lady answer the phone and I told her exactly what had happened- that this may not be a permanent arrangement but it is the plan for now and that I need to either stop my single claim renewal or reclaim on a joint claim- i doubt we will be entitled to much as a couple as ex/oh is on a good wage, but I just wanted to do the right thing straight away. She was so horrible i nearly cried, she said she thought he had been there all along and that I would have to speak to the guy who sent me the letters on monday (tommorrow) as he has been on leave. I had my original letter with me and I told her that I had it in front of me and it had definitely not requested my bank statements the first time... she basically called me a liar and said she had a copy too and that she could see it on there! i can only conclude that the line about bank statements was added into their copy on the computer after mine was sent out and they realised that had made an error so put it on theirs to cover themselves?? Anyway, I told her that I would send a copy with my bank statements etc. I also had to ask her for a time extension, as the letter stated that it must all be returned by the 1st july and as I am going away on thursday until the 1st, and I have had to order them from the banks they probably wont come by weds (7 working days according to Lloyds), I need an extension. Honestly she was so horrible, first she refused, then she begrudgingly agreed to extend it to the 10th.
Now I am really scared that I should have declared the irregular amounts/payments from ex and him paying the mortgage, although I have no idea how I would have declared it as it was all unofficial and impossible to calculate? I am so scared that I am going to get in big trouble, I had no sleep at all last night as I keep having nightmares about going to prison. I actually feel like I am having a panic attack when I think about it, I am so worried. I have tried to look on the tax credits website but just ended up in tears because I can't work out if I have broken the law?
Please help...
I split from the father of my dd's in 2007 when I was pregnant with dd2. The realtionship turned abusive and he left me with over £20000 in debt, in my name but all for things he had. He wasn't working at the time, and he told me he was going abroad to live. when he left we had an informal agreement that he would give me some money as and when he could to try and cover his debts and to help with the mortgage. Since then he (or I thought, his mum) had made irregular deposits of irregular amounts into my current account and transferred the mortgage money to my dad- my dad and I have a joint mortgage which I am responsible for paying, but it come from his account as he wants to make sure it gets paid on time every month so as not to affect his credit rating if I make late payments. Ex and I had no contact, except from him coming to register dd2s birth and the very occasional phone call to dd1. Post still came for him (just 1 or 2 letters a week), and I just collected it up and put it through his mum's door when i was in the area.
I made a single claim for tax credits, correctly declaring my wages and childcare costs. I did not declare these random amounts of money from ex as it only asked for maintenance, csa and other benefits that I claim. As i do not get any of these, and I have no idea how to calculate money from ex as I dont know if, when or how much is coming, I have no idea how i could have declared it.
After i submitted my renewal I received a letter asking me to provide:
- utility bills
- childcare invoices
- details of other adults living in the house
I posted off all of these documents. someone suggested that this could have been because of ex's post coming to my address, and from then I started returning it to sender. A few weeks passed.
Last week they returned my documents, with a covering letter asking for:
- bank/building society statements
- documents to prove where ex is living
- details of cars registered at my property
- documents to prove ex and I have seperated
I called the number on the letter, and spoke to a horrible lady who asked me loads of details about my realtionship with ex and told me I was silly to have let him have use my address for post. I told her that I have no documents to prove I have seperated as we never had anything to officially/financially make us a couple. I also told her that as far as I know ex was living abroad and I have no idea of an address. She then told me that HM Revenue and Customs have him registered at my address which meant he must be living and working in the uk. This came as a bit of a shock. She the questioned why I hadn't submitted the bank statements when they were originally requested in the first letter, and I told her that I was sure that they weren't. She insisted that they were requested in the first letter and that I had incriminated myself further by not providing them.
That evenig I spoke to ex's mum when she phoned to speak to dd's, and I told her what had happened.
A few days days ago, ex turns up on doorstep, with the excuse that his mum told him about the post. To cut a long story short, he is coming home (he moved some stuff back of the weekend) with a view to rebuilding a relationship with dd's and trying again with our relationship. On thursday I phoned the tax credits office and told them, as I am so scared of getting into any more trouble and I knew he would be staying over at the weekend. I got the same horrible lady answer the phone and I told her exactly what had happened- that this may not be a permanent arrangement but it is the plan for now and that I need to either stop my single claim renewal or reclaim on a joint claim- i doubt we will be entitled to much as a couple as ex/oh is on a good wage, but I just wanted to do the right thing straight away. She was so horrible i nearly cried, she said she thought he had been there all along and that I would have to speak to the guy who sent me the letters on monday (tommorrow) as he has been on leave. I had my original letter with me and I told her that I had it in front of me and it had definitely not requested my bank statements the first time... she basically called me a liar and said she had a copy too and that she could see it on there! i can only conclude that the line about bank statements was added into their copy on the computer after mine was sent out and they realised that had made an error so put it on theirs to cover themselves?? Anyway, I told her that I would send a copy with my bank statements etc. I also had to ask her for a time extension, as the letter stated that it must all be returned by the 1st july and as I am going away on thursday until the 1st, and I have had to order them from the banks they probably wont come by weds (7 working days according to Lloyds), I need an extension. Honestly she was so horrible, first she refused, then she begrudgingly agreed to extend it to the 10th.
Now I am really scared that I should have declared the irregular amounts/payments from ex and him paying the mortgage, although I have no idea how I would have declared it as it was all unofficial and impossible to calculate? I am so scared that I am going to get in big trouble, I had no sleep at all last night as I keep having nightmares about going to prison. I actually feel like I am having a panic attack when I think about it, I am so worried. I have tried to look on the tax credits website but just ended up in tears because I can't work out if I have broken the law?
Please help...
0
Comments
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It might be worth getting your story straight before you go any further ...Post still came for him (just 1 or 2 letters a week), and I just collected it up and put it through his mum's door when i was in the area.I do leave any post for him in the porch for him to collect if he wants it so that he does not have an excuse to contact me or need to knock on the door, it is always gone every few days (although i do not know who collects it, it could be him or a friend etc).Gone ... or have I?0
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Ok, its a long one... and I just wrote it all accidently lost it so I am losing the will tonight....
I split from the father of my dd's in 2007 when I was pregnant with dd2. The realtionship turned abusive and he left me with over £20000 in debt, in my name but all for things he had. He wasn't working at the time, and he told me he was going abroad to live. when he left we had an informal agreement that he would give me some money as and when he could to try and cover his debts and to help with the mortgage. Since then he (or I thought, his mum) had made irregular deposits of irregular amounts into my current account and transferred the mortgage money to my dad- my dad and I have a joint mortgage which I am responsible for paying, but it come from his account as he wants to make sure it gets paid on time every month so as not to affect his credit rating if I make late payments. Ex and I had no contact, except from him coming to register dd2s birth and the very occasional phone call to dd1. Post still came for him (just 1 or 2 letters a week), and I just collected it up and put it through his mum's door when i was in the area.
I made a single claim for tax credits, correctly declaring my wages and childcare costs. I did not declare these random amounts of money from ex as it only asked for maintenance, csa and other benefits that I claim. As i do not get any of these, and I have no idea how to calculate money from ex as I dont know if, when or how much is coming, I have no idea how i could have declared it.
After i submitted my renewal I received a letter asking me to provide:
- utility bills
- childcare invoices
- details of other adults living in the house
I posted off all of these documents. someone suggested that this could have been because of ex's post coming to my address, and from then I started returning it to sender. A few weeks passed.
Last week they returned my documents, with a covering letter asking for:
- bank/building society statements
- documents to prove where ex is living
- details of cars registered at my property
- documents to prove ex and I have seperated
I called the number on the letter, and spoke to a horrible lady who asked me loads of details about my realtionship with ex and told me I was silly to have let him have use my address for post. I told her that I have no documents to prove I have seperated as we never had anything to officially/financially make us a couple. I also told her that as far as I know ex was living abroad and I have no idea of an address. She then told me that HM Revenue and Customs have him registered at my address which meant he must be living and working in the uk. This came as a bit of a shock. She the questioned why I hadn't submitted the bank statements when they were originally requested in the first letter, and I told her that I was sure that they weren't. She insisted that they were requested in the first letter and that I had incriminated myself further by not providing them.
That evenig I spoke to ex's mum when she phoned to speak to dd's, and I told her what had happened.
A few days days ago, ex turns up on doorstep, with the excuse that his mum told him about the post. To cut a long story short, he is coming home (he moved some stuff back of the weekend) with a view to rebuilding a relationship with dd's and trying again with our relationship. On thursday I phoned the tax credits office and told them, as I am so scared of getting into any more trouble and I knew he would be staying over at the weekend. I got the same horrible lady answer the phone and I told her exactly what had happened- that this may not be a permanent arrangement but it is the plan for now and that I need to either stop my single claim renewal or reclaim on a joint claim- i doubt we will be entitled to much as a couple as ex/oh is on a good wage, but I just wanted to do the right thing straight away. She was so horrible i nearly cried, she said she thought he had been there all along and that I would have to speak to the guy who sent me the letters on monday (tommorrow) as he has been on leave. I had my original letter with me and I told her that I had it in front of me and it had definitely not requested my bank statements the first time... she basically called me a liar and said she had a copy too and that she could see it on there! i can only conclude that the line about bank statements was added into their copy on the computer after mine was sent out and they realised that had made an error so put it on theirs to cover themselves?? Anyway, I told her that I would send a copy with my bank statements etc. I also had to ask her for a time extension, as the letter stated that it must all be returned by the 1st july and as I am going away on thursday until the 1st, and I have had to order them from the banks they probably wont come by weds (7 working days according to Lloyds), I need an extension. Honestly she was so horrible, first she refused, then she begrudgingly agreed to extend it to the 10th.
Now I am really scared that I should have declared the irregular amounts/payments from ex and him paying the mortgage, although I have no idea how I would have declared it as it was all unofficial and impossible to calculate? I am so scared that I am going to get in big trouble, I had no sleep at all last night as I keep having nightmares about going to prison. I actually feel like I am having a panic attack when I think about it, I am so worried. I have tried to look on the tax credits website but just ended up in tears because I can't work out if I have broken the law?
Please help...
Is the mortgage in his name also? If so, then there is nothing to declare, he is merely meeting his liabilities, regardless of your situation with him.
I doubt it's the joint mortgage that is the problem. Lots of people who have seperated have joint mortgages, which are still contributed to by ex-partners.All over the place, from the popular culture to the propaganda system, there is constant pressure to make people feel that they are helpless, that the only role they can have is to ratify decisions and to consume.0 -
yep, 13 is a tough age.
however, I would not allow either of my dd's to be ungrateful for their presents and they would get a long hard guilt trip detailing how we have to work hard to buy them presents, how presents are expensive, money doesnt grow on trees blah blah blah.
Who are we?Gone ... or have I?0 -
got totally lost reading your post but as far as i know HMRC arent bothered about maintainance payments etc only your wages
HTH
Joby xx0 -
I got totally lost as well,but what stuck out was the fact that you are taking back someone who in the past has been abusive,is that the right thing for your DDs?0
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I've never had to declare my ex-husbands maintenance payments for my 2 DS's (when I used to get them, their 18 & 21 now so not an issue) who set up a direct debit for them every month. I also get DLA which I didn't have to declare.
I think you just have to declare taxable income of which payments for maintenance isn't one.
Good luck0 -
It looks like they don't believe the fact that you & your oh had seperated & think you were falsely claiming as a lone parent.
Unfortunately now he has moved back in I think you will struggle to prove that he actually moved out in the 1st place.
If it is the case then just admit to it & accept your punishment which will probably be paying the money back.I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done.
Lucille Ball0 -
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz0
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I would say if I were you don't let him move back in, for a start he sounds like a loser and they really won't believe you that he wasn't there (if that is the case!!)0
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I agree with everyone else, it won't be the payments they are bothered about but the lone parent claim. He must have some way of proving where he was living when he wasn't living with you?
I assume he has had extensive therapy or other help to deal with his abusive tendencies if you care considering getting back with him?'Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans'-John Lennon
“When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a Communist.” -Dom Helder Câmara0
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