help/advice desperately needed (income support)

[Deleted User]

hello i hope someone can help me
i am in a real dilemma
i work 17 hrs a week and have 4 children at home
since i moved further from my job, my rent is more but i get less lha (different council) and i have to drive to work 20 mile round trip 5 days a week
the short of it is that i am getting into debt just getting to work
i live very frugally and have no debt other than fuel on my credit card
i love my job, but it is leaving me exhausted and with stress related ibs as if i am not at work i am with my children , one of them is a very demanding 9 yr old boy with ADHD and my youngest is nearly 6

i know income support isn't a lifestyle choice , i have done this one to death over and over in my head but have finally come to the conclusion that working so far away and for so little money , leaving me in pain and with no time at all to do anything round the house etc , is not benefitting my family at all

i am a lone parent by the way
my question is ; if i give up my job for all these reasons , will i be entitled to income support until i sort myself out with something a bit more local and better paid ??

pls don't lecture me on the rights and wrongs of claiming benefits as i went to college to be able to do this job and to have to give it up is heartbreaking
sorry for rambling i am upset and worried.

welshmoneylover

mummyof5 wrote: »

hello i hope someone can help me
i am in a real dilemma
i work 17 hrs a week and have 4 children at home
since i moved further from my job, my rent is more but i get less lha (different council) and i have to drive to work 20 mile round trip 5 days a week
the short of it is that i am getting into debt just getting to work
i live very frugally and have no debt other than fuel on my credit card
i love my job, but it is leaving me exhausted and with stress related ibs as if i am not at work i am with my children , one of them is a very demanding 9 yr old boy with ADHD and my youngest is nearly 6

i know income support isn't a lifestyle choice , i have done this one to death over and over in my head but have finally come to the conclusion that working so far away and for so little money , leaving me in pain and with no time at all to do anything round the house etc , is not benefitting my family at all

i am a lone parent by the way
my question is ; if i give up my job for all these reasons , will i be entitled to income support until i sort myself out with something a bit more local and better paid ??

pls don't lecture me on the rights and wrongs of claiming benefits as i went to college to be able to do this job and to have to give it up is heartbreaking
sorry for rambling i am upset and worried.

Sorry to hear your plight, do you have any family who can help out to give you a break. What about the daddy of the children, is he able to help at all both emotionally and financially?

I'd be careful to give up work if I were you, apart from running a house and looking after 4 kids, surely by being away from 4 walls you get to spend some quality time with some adult conversation. Your brain could start to rot being stuck in the house.

Chin up

[Deleted User]

hi no , i have no family around and the kids dad was extremely violent so not seen him for 4 yrs

the boredom wouldn't be an issue as i would volunteer/re-train/get things done !!!

going to work is costing me about £30 a week in diesel and there is no scope for promotion or anything either

AnxiousMum

I think one of your other major problems about giving up your job at the moment is the new rules that cover the ages of the children you are entitled to stay at home and raise, and receive IS. As your youngest is six, you'll have to consider when he turns seven, you'll no longer be eligible for IS and will be placed onto JSA. Is it possible do you think to try and find a job closer to home while you are still working your current position?

Do you manage to get any time for yourself? Hoping that at least while the kids are at school you are able to have some time to just relax, meet up with a friend for a walk or something - it's not easy having a houseful of kids with no other support around - but remember you are better off that way than with a violent partner

[Deleted User]

thanks for your reply
i get up,take my kids to school then go straight to work and at the end of the day i do it all in reverse so i never have any time without children (i am a pre school worker)

i don't get much time off to go for interviews and things , and to be totally honest i could do with a couple of months to sort myself and my house out before i end up having a nervous breakdown

sunnyone

did you need to move further from your job for space reason or similar?

Its hard when a child has a disibility and you have another 3 kids too but think through everything before you decide anything and good luck.

[Deleted User]

i moved for 3 main reasons
1. to seperate my 2 boys age 9 with ADHD and 15 yrs old
2. to be nearer my son's college for september
3. to get my 3 youngest out of a god awful primary school and into one which would help my 9 yr old in particular (also dyslexic)

AnxiousMum

Have you ever given any thought to maybe providing your own pre-school? Is there a need for a local preschool in your area? If there is, and you could rent the local community hall or similar, you could be working alot closer to home, as your kids build up, hire other staff to help out etc. Just a thought.....

Indie_Kid

AnxiousMum wrote: »

I think one of your other major problems about giving up your job at the moment is the new rules that cover the ages of the children you are entitled to stay at home and raise, and receive IS. As your youngest is six, you'll have to consider when he turns seven, you'll no longer be eligible for IS and will be placed onto JSA. Is it possible do you think to try and find a job closer to home while you are still working your current position?

If the OP receives mid or high rate DLA for the 9 year old, she can apply for carers allowance. She won't move on to JSA when the youngst is 7 then.

[Deleted User]

anxiousmum i am only just qualified at level 2 so that would be impossible and add to my stress load

i do not recieve any dla or anything , i haven't claimed it as i think there are people worse off who deserve it and don't get it.

mummyslittleboy

Hi Mummyof5,

You need to think of your health and yourself and what is best for you, I gave up work to look after my 3 year old who has various problems I know it is a hard decision to make but do what makes it easier for you there is no point in pushing yourself over the edge take some time out.at the end of the day you are all the kids have and you need to think of that to. If you need to chat feel free to pm me hun.