A confession of a bad mother for feeding kids

FZwanab

I have been reading another thread here today about feeding other peoples children. I realise probably a lightbulb moment, that I am a very bad mother. I am a great cook and I cook the vast majority of my food from scratch for my oh and for my lodger and me, however, when it comes to my children 6, 4 and 2 I am utterly appalling. This summer has been especially bad. This would be my childrens diet in a typical week,

Mon: Breakfast: Wheeties, Rice Krispies, Weetabix & Orange juice
Lunch: Plastic Ham or Plastic Cheese brown bread Sandwiches
Dinner: Roast Chicken, Roast potatoes, & Mixed Veg.
Tues:Breakfast : Same as Monday
Lunch : Chocolate Spread Sandwiches & bananas
Dinner: Frozen pizza and Frozen Garlic Bread
Wed:Breakfast: Same as Monday
Lunch: Plastic Cheese sandiches, apple slices
Dinner: Fish fingers, waffles and beans
Thur:Breakfast: Same as Monday
Lunch: Scrambled eggs and beans
Dinner :hm Pasta bologneise
Fri: Breakfast: Same as Monday
Lunch: Yogurts, rolls, and plastic ham
Dinner: oven chips, peas and breaded cod
Sat: Breakfast: toast with jam
Lunch: toasted plastic cheese and ham sandwich
Dinner: Frozen pizza or stew or chips and sausages
Sun:Breakfast: Toast with jam
Lunch: rice krispies, fruit & sweets
Dinner: Pasta and pasta sauce with grated cheese on top

Snacks are bad: Chocolate spread sandwiches, cool pops, apples, bananas, tinned fruit, fromage frais, chocolate digestives, ice cream all drinks are squash with no added sugar.

For the likes of the adults we have:

chicken curry and rice - kids don't like spicy or rice
chilli con carne and rice
lasagne - oldest refuses to eat it
Big pieces of meat, eg. pork chops, steak on v. rare occasions - won't eat
Proper yoghurts, I like natural myself, but kids won't even touch strawberry yoghurt unless it is that fromage frais stuff full of sugar.

Other problems I have are the cheese has to be that rubbish plastic stuff, they won't touch proper cheddar or proper ham, my own fault for starting them off this way before I was os. All bread is now brown.

Could people please help me and make some suggestions as to how I can fix this situation. I am so jealous of those on that other thread mentioned whose kids eat everything for them. How would I go about making changes? Any help gratefully received.

ILoveHenryJames

FZwanab wrote:

I realise probably a lightbulb moment, that I am a very bad mother.

Someone will be along to give you some help with this. I just wanted to say to you that giving your kids a less than healthy diet does not make you a 'very bad mother'. Maybe if your kids grew up with enormous health problems, ones borne out of a poor childhood diet which you refused to address, then maybe you could feel a little guilty.

You have recognised that something needs to change, that is incredibly important and thus indicates that you have your kids' best interests at heart. So well done!

snowball2

I was just like this great cook yet fed my kids rubbish, smiley faces & waffles ahhhggg what was i thinking.

Mainly due to the fact they ate before us, which was two sets of meals as well (not very OS).

I have found menu planning & all eating togther, or at least making a meal for us all (kids either eat it earlier or next day) if we can't all eat atthe same time. I also make extra and freeze portions so if were having a hot chilli or curry I have a healthy meal ready for them in no time.

I'm still working on some aspects my youngest likes squash, the elder one only drinks water. I think in time they soon adapt to say brown bread, my youngest knows no differnt but my older daughter did complain quite a bit but I stuck to my guns over it and there is no alternative. we hardly ever have a problem and they are far more inclined to try new foods now.

Good luck - your not a bad mother

Snow

seraphina

Disclaimer: I am not a parent but I was a very fussy child - I now have an excellent diet and I think I have turned out okay - although my DH might beg to differ!

To be honest, what you are feeding your kids is mostly sound.

Certainly breakfast looks fine to me.
As for lunches - you have your children eating brown bread! Swap the plastic cheese for some "proper" cheddar or Wensleydale - let your kids experiment with cheese to find what they like and you have a hugely important source of fibre and B vitamins (brown bread) with protein and essential calcium (cheese)
Dinners might need a minor bit of tweaking, but a roast sounds fine - they're eating veg and good quality protein. You have them eating fish twice a week which is an excellent source of lean protein - if you can get them eating different kinds of fish - or tuna stirred into pasta you'll be doing even better.

I might be tempted to cut back on the frozen pizza etc but you can always do HM pizza and once in a while it's not going to do them any harm. Baked beans count as one of your five pieces of fruit and veg a day - but I would make sure you're going for low sugar versions.

What I'm trying to say is that their diet doesn't look particularly bad - yes, it can be improved but the changes that need to be made are small and don't all need to be done at once - for example, replace chips with baked spud or HM potato wedges.

FZwanab

Hi Snowball 2, yes we have 2 mealtimes here too one around 4:30pm as they go to bed at 7:30 - 8pm and the adult mealtime at 6:30. Great idea about freezing a healthy meal for them so I don't have to rely on the frozen rubbish I give them. Or giving them our meal next day that is an excellent idea. Thanks.

thriftlady_2

FZwanab wrote:

Other problems I have are the cheese has to be that rubbish plastic stuff, they won't touch proper cheddar or proper ham, my own fault for starting them off this way before I was os.

I am so jealous of those on that other thread mentioned whose kids eat everything for them.

Hi FZwanab,
I'm afraid the reason my kids eat (nearly) all the food I give them is because I started them off that way. But it is never too late to turn them around.

The first thing I would say is try cooking just one meal for both adults and children. If it isn't possible for you all to sit down together could you at least eat with them and keep the rest warm for your lodger and OH ?

Make sure there is some part of the meal the children will eat. If you don't think they will go for the veg you have planned for example, do a small bowl of frozen peas for them.

If they are reluctant to try new things praise every small success, one bite gets a round of applause, 2 bites a mexican wave or whatever gets them responding. Build on each success and keep introducing new things and offering previously rejected things. Sometimes you have to learn to like new foods.

Make trying new foods a game. Keep a diary or chart of each new food, cut out pictures from magazines and make a collage.

Cook with your kids (I personally find this a challenge and have to make myself do it), kids are more likely to eat it if they've cooked it.

Finally try the library for children's cookbooks and see if you can get hold of these 2 books which are excellent;

The Food Our Children Eat by Joanna Blythman
Dump the Junk by Mary Whiting

thriftlady_2

I meant to add that your kid's diet doesn't sound too bad to me;)

doddsy

Penny, I am sure you are a very good mum, not an appalling one.

Small steps need to be taken here. If you mean plastic ham as in the stuff you buy in packets, try getting a few slices from the deli counter first. When they are used to that (disguised at first if need be with other stuff) then you can try butcher quality cooked ham or home cooked hocks.

Brown bread - do you mean wholemeal? if so that's something good you are doing for them.

I'm sure with a little forethought you can replace some of the things they like with healthier versions, and always try them with a little of what you are cooking for the grown ups, perhaps telling them that they are getting older and should be trying 'grown up' food.

One thing that makes me mad though is the way squashes etc are sold as sugar free. This means usually sugar is replaced with Aspartame which is even worse. Try very hard to find alternatives to this.

Don't beat your self up, remember - 'when you know better you do better' and you are a good mum:A :A

thriftlady_2

doddsy wrote:

One thing that makes me mad though is the way squashes etc are sold as sugar free. This means usually sugar is replaced with Aspartame which is even worse. Try very hard to find alternatives to this.

Makes me mad too, frankly I'd rather my kids had the sugar than sweeteners.

comping_cat

Whenever i buy squash, i now buy the normal variety, not the no added sugar as i dont want any of the children i look after having the Aspartame unless there is no alternative!!!!

FZwanab

Unfortunately the brown bread is not wholemeal yet, we have just changed from polystyrene white, we are gradually getting there. I can't believe it, I jsut checked their squash ingredients and it has both aspartame and saccharin, I have told the eldest that this is the last bottle I am buying of this because it is very bad for their health and he agreed. I have had a chat with him and we are going to follow up a suggestion of a chart with pictures of new foods eaten and liked with a star. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Thanks for all your help and if anyone has any more suggestions I am all ears.