Housing/Council Tax Benefit

DX2

Wee_Willy_Harris wrote: »

Sorry DX, but this board is supposed to be a source of information and support, not a whipping post for the vulnerable. It can't be easy for some people to post their dirty washing on here, looking for help. To then be turned on by people who, frankly, should know better is a disgrace. The actions of some people on here is nothing short of bullying.

Willy I don't think we have had the pleasure before.

Oh you leave MSE for a few months and nothing changes, bullying such a strong word that gets thrown about quiet often on MSE. If people feel that they are being bullied it might be better if others hit that red triangle to alert the abuse team, rather than continue the b!tchfest no?

(:p )

clb776

althought perhaps true that i need not have got in debt. However most of my debt was accrued when i was alot younger before 'responsible lending' became a staple for banks etc. I could have gone bankrupt then, but as i was also brought up with morals and to believe i had to work for what i wanted, i decided i didn't want to go down that route and wanted to pay what i owed back. My mother, also supportive, got a secured loan against her home in her name for me to pay the majority of my debt off. I have been paying that for a few years now, and have about 4 years left to go. The rest is coming down slowly. I went to college full time and worked in the evenings, i got a good education and had very good jobs. Your daughter is very lucky you are able to support her and her child. Not everyone has that advantage, if my mother could afford to she of course would. I am sorry that me mentioning my debt offended you, but we all make mistakes, as your daughter did by having a baby with a man who obviously didn't deserve such a beautiful miracle.

Wee_Willy_Harris

Yeah, I suppose so. But public humiliation seems so much more fitting. And much more fun. Luckily, bullies seem to exclusively occupy glass houses.

Wee_Willy_Harris

No-one should come on here and have to justify that which cannot be changed. Maybe, in the past, we took a decision/decisions which, in the fullness of time, were unwise. But that's the position we are in. People come here with a set of circumstances and a need for information and support, not time travel and 20/20 hindsight. That heps nobody.

Wee_Willy_Harris

Sorry, gone on a rant. I'll shut up now.

clb776

this question has veered right off topic now. I have my answer regarding my council tax question we shall struggle on through and hope to see a light at the end of the tunnel, hopefully a good job with a nice pay packet so i can put some more money in the pot for others!!!

sunnyone

Breast_Cancer_Survivor wrote: »

What facts have I changed?

I joined mse because i'd had a letter saying a customer compliance officer was coming to see me.

You keep stating that I had an IUC for benefit fraud when I hadn't.

I think it's you that like to change the facts & twist everything.:rotfl:

I think saying things about me that are untrue to try to score points is slander.:rotfl:

I notice that you feel sorry for & are supportive of other people with ASD's but not me even though i've also had breast cancer twice & had to bring up 3 kids on my own.

Not that I want or need people to feel sorry for me, like my user name says I am a survivor.

My kids will probably have to claim disability benefits maybe even sickness benefits in their lifetime due to them being autistic but what's the difference between them doing that & your daughter claiming benefits now?

You appeared here wetting yourself because you had an IUC, thats what you told us and you found out that you were breaking the rules by LTAMAW so he moved in after that, thats the concise version.

I dont feel sorry for you or anyone else with your condition or any other, it dosnt come into anything what anyones disabilities are for me.

Your a proffessional victim and saying that your children will always be on benefits is disgusting, many people with autism work and live life to the full, you are happy to say that they will never have a life, how sad is that?

So today your sons get DLA, they didnt a few weeks ago.

My daughter has a disability, she did work till she was heavily pregnant and she will finish this college course and work again to keep her and her son, thats whats diffrent between my daughter and your sons.

Again you mention your disability and past medical history, no one else does at the drop of a hat.

sunnyone

Deepmistrust wrote: »

Then you should know if not first hand, through her, that people are..only human..and the choices they make, may not be the choices we'd always make, and may always lead to them needing help at some point.
That help should be available to anyone that is in need.

"do you think I want her alone with the baby in a rented 2 up 2 down when they can come home at anytime where she has everything including help and support with the baby"

Maybe that's not how she see's it. Regardless of whether there is a partner or not, I'm sure many young single mums couldn't think of anything worse than giving up what independance they do have to go home to a parent who clearly thinks they always know best. A bit blunt, but just saying like.

We have considered buying a house for our daughter or converting the upper stories of our garages/workshops into a flat for them both but it would be a huge expence and not worth it unless she was definatly going to use it, though our son would move into it if she refused, closed to his beloved cars and muck would suit him down to the ground.

being young and a first time mam my daughter relies on me for many things, shes read all the books but thats not the same as experiance, we disgree about some things but do not argue about them.

DX2

Wee_Willy_Harris wrote: »

Sorry, gone on a rant. I'll shut up now.

:rotfl:It's good to let it all out.

Deepmistrust

sunnyone wrote: »

We have considered buying a house for our daughter or converting the upper stories of our garages/workshops into a flat for them both but it would be a huge expence and not worth it unless she was definatly going to use it, though our son would move into it if she refused, closed to his beloved cars and muck would suit him down to the ground.

Being young and a first time mam my daughter relies on me for many things, shes read all the books but thats not the same as experiance, we disgree about some things but do not argue about them.

Any parent, has the desire to offer their children what you have when they seem vunerable or in need (but she probably doesn't see her self that way at all, and rightly so), but most don't have the resources.

And though you have the resources, she still doesn't want it. I completely understand you wanting to do what YOU THINK is the best, for your daughter. But everyone has to make their own way in life (albeit there is nothing wrong in giving a helping hand), but your way possibly seems more than a helping hand, perhaps a bit stiffling.

At the end of the day, she is a grown adult. She doesn't live in some third world country. This country, thankfully (as despite the opinions of some on this board) would not see her or her baby starve). On the contrary it will support her in her housing needs, and her income needs whilst she improves her qualifications, and in turn her life chances, and that of her childs.

I'm sure you are proud of your daughter in lots of ways, you should also be proud of your country in lots of ways to, in that she has those opportunities, despite apparent adversity. (That is not to say there is not much to do to redress many inequalities etc etc though;)).