Can you ever be too MSE?

onlyroz

When my grandad died, my grandma found around £8k stashed around the house in cash - she was furious, because she'd spent the last decade thinking that they were extremely poor, scrimping on food, having a rented black-and-white TV, never having a holiday etc etc. So yes, save what you can, but make sure that you have a bit of fun as well. I like the idea that another poster had of having a "fun fund". Every month put something away into this, and maybe when it's reached a thousand or so, go and treat yourself to a holiday.

swiss69

You have to be careful it doesnt completely overtake your life.

I am a financial advisor and have seen too many people who save and save all of their lives for 1. A Rainy day and 2.Retirement

Firstly a Rainy day event rarely happens and if it does it is normally covered by insurance.

Secondly, when they get to retirement,they have forgotten what they have been saving for and it has become that much of a habit that they cant spend it!

Personally I think all non mortgage related debt should be repaid if it can be as the rates are often high. I dont see the obsession with clearing mortgages quickly especially with rates as low as they are at the moment.

Life is about creating memories and not going on holiday etc when you can afford to do so wouldnt be for me just to pay a mortgage off more quickly......

Mutter_2

swiss69 wrote: »

You have to be careful it doesnt completely overtake your life.

I am a financial advisor and have seen too many people who save and save all of their lives for 1. A Rainy day and 2.Retirement

Firstly a Rainy day event rarely happens and if it does it is normally covered by insurance.

Secondly, when they get to retirement,they have forgotten what they have been saving for and it has become that much of a habit that they cant spend it!

Personally I think all non mortgage related debt should be repaid if it can be as the rates are often high. I dont see the obsession with clearing mortgages quickly especially with rates as low as they are at the moment.

Life is about creating memories and not going on holiday etc when you can afford to do so wouldnt be for me just to pay a mortgage off more quickly......

You are so right swiss and jogged my memory. I used to know a retired man, a fellow dogwalker. He was so boastful of how he had so much money, yet he dressed like a tramp and a dirty one at that. 4 bed home, no one to leave it to. We would rib him that he would one day be the richest man in the graveyard if he didn't get spending some.

He got the flu one winter and died. As he wouldn't even have the heating on in his house or eat decent food, I believe he hastened his own demise.

goggle

Thanks for all the replies
There is nothing specific that has triggered this, just one of those idle curiosities you get every now & then.

I am going to give some serious thought to how much I spend vs save & maybe start making some subtle changes ...

clairehi

swiss69 wrote: »

You have to be careful it doesnt completely overtake your life.

I am a financial advisor and have seen too many people who save and save all of their lives for 1. A Rainy day and 2.Retirement

Firstly a Rainy day event rarely happens and if it does it is normally covered by insurance.

Secondly, when they get to retirement,they have forgotten what they have been saving for and it has become that much of a habit that they cant spend it!
.

This is very interesting to hear from a professional and sounds typical of my grandparents generation who lived through WW2 and difficult times, and who never felt quite secure again afterwards.
I suppose the people at the other extreme who borrow money to buy brand new cars, go on holiday and then go BR dont go to see a financial adviser. Not that I am recommending that either though :

ManOnTheMoon

I think you can get into a rutt.

For many years, apart from clothing, grooming and feeding myself, I have saved and saved every last penny I had spare to look after my girls, some of those years as a single father and the others just feeling like one. It took a young lady coming into my life 6 months ago to point out that actually I do have to do something for me occasionally and that it's not a crime to self indulge once in a while.

You can get into the habit of something and not know how to get out of it or feel guilty for thinking of doing so.

As long as you are not reckless, spoil yourself occasionally. I still don't know how too, and still feel guilty when I think about it, but you have to live today as well as think about the future.

Hermia

One thing that has helped me to balance my life is writing a bucket list. My father died three years before he retired and that is what made me think of doing this. I have found this really useful for the following reasons:

1) It has made me realise that I can't just put my life on hold until I am mortgage-free with a wonderful pension plan because I simply won't have enough time left to do what I want or I will be too decrepit to do it!

2) It has made me think about how I can fit these dreams into my MSE life. E.g. there are a few countries I really, really want to visit before I die. So, now I can think about when I might plan each trip (e.g. one within the next few years, one before I'm 40 etc.). This gives me time to research how to do the trip in the most economical way and gives me time to save.

3) It has made me focus on what I really want in life and therefore what is worth spending money on. E.g. I am a wannabe foodie and want to have some wonderful culinary experiences before I die. So, with my MSE hat on I won't waste money on disappointing take-aways or junk food. But, if I got offered the chance to go to a legendary restaurant to have a meal I would never forget I would definitely consider it.

Hermia

swiss69 wrote: »

You have to be careful it doesnt completely overtake your life.

I am watching this happening to a friend of mine. She started off as a normal person who just wanted to save money. Now, she is living this awful penny-pinching life. Occasionally a group of us friends go out for a day in the country and we usually stop off for a nice lunch. We never spend a lot (usually it's under £10), but my friend will sit on her own in the car eating the sandwiches she has bought. She never buys new clothes and she has started cutting her own hair. She now thinks most toiletries are a waste of money so her face always looks dry and flakey. She is desperate to find a husband, but she turns up at all social events looking so drab that she just gets ignored. She is not a mean person, but I think her definition of necessities has got smaller and smaller.

madget_2

Hermia wrote: »

One thing that has helped me to balance my life is writing a bucket list. My father died three years before he retired and that is what made me think of doing this. I have found this really useful for the following reasons:

1) It has made me realise that I can't just put my life on hold until I am mortgage-free with a wonderful pension plan because I simply won't have enough time left to do what I want or I will be too decrepit to do it!

2) It has made me think about how I can fit these dreams into my MSE life. E.g. there are a few countries I really, really want to visit before I die. So, now I can think about when I might plan each trip (e.g. one within the next few years, one before I'm 40 etc.). This gives me time to research how to do the trip in the most economical way and gives me time to save.

3) It has made me focus on what I really want in life and therefore what is worth spending money on. E.g. I am a wannabe foodie and want to have some wonderful culinary experiences before I die. So, with my MSE hat on I won't waste money on disappointing take-aways or junk food. But, if I got offered the chance to go to a legendary restaurant to have a meal I would never forget I would definitely consider it.

I almost died (had to be brought back) when I was 24 years old. Before then, my husband had been ridiculously penny-pinching and I went along with it as I came from a very poor background.

However, nearly dying was a real wake-up call for me. I insisted that we start going away on holiday and experiencing life instead of scrimping every single penny. I have a "Things to Do before I Die"/bucket list in my head, and my husband and I have had loads of fun and thrills working our way through it.

He's still very careful with money, but is a heck of a lot happier now that he's prepared to let his hair down a bit from time to time. The highlight of his year is our annual holiday that I carefully plan to ensure we have at least one or two new experiences.

We've been ziplining, rode in a helicopter, walked on roped walkways between tall trees, touched a tarantula, seen a blue whale, went white-water rafting, swam a mile, danced in the midst of a thunder storm, and loads more - and there's still plenty on my list!

OP - Ask yourself if you're genuinely happy. If you really are, then continue on. If not, then do something wonderful or daft or crazy from time to time. You don't have to spend all of your money at once - there's a happy medium you can follow.

katieclampet

If you are happy, thats fine. But it sounds like you feel life is passing you by a bit. I totally agree with everyone else, you cant take your money with you. If you have paid your bills and have put some money away for a rainy day, then you should think about what you would enjoy and would add pleasure to your life.

Being a ms (in my opinion) is about making the most of what you have financially, and ensuring you get value for money. Use what you save to enhance your life, dont put off doing things too long, since you dont know what the future holds.

katiex