Can you ever be too MSE?

goggle

I am in the lucky position that I am debt free, apart from mortgage which is pretty small & being overpaid (should be paid off within 10yrs, maybe sooner, I'm 38 & aiming to be mortgage free by 50 at the very latest )

However I am currently struggling with getting the MSE/life balance right, by this I mean that I am working very long hours in a job that's stable so far (but who knows what the future will bring!) and am starting to wonder if I should be spending some of the money I work ridiculously hard to earn, yet I can't help thinking that I shouldn't spend money but should be paying off the mortgage.

Small examples:
I haven't had a holiday in years (the most I've had is a trip to stay with friends for a weekend or they've come to me: cost = petrol + maybe £20 for a takeaway or something!). I did go abroad for a couple of days for work & managed a couple of hours free to wander about but tbh it wasn't a "holiday"! I would love to travel, but can't help feeling it's a waste of money when I have a mortgage I could be paying off/money I could put into savings ... A friend asked recently if I wanted to go on a trip which cost ~£300 - and I said almost automatically that it was a bit expensive at the mo & yet I have over £6K in the bank!

I don't spend money on cars, electronics clothes etc. I drive a '53 plate car which is doing fine so far - it's the "best" car I've ever had yet I can't help worrying about what I'll do when this gives up the ghost - but feel I need to have enough money saved to buy a car without a finance deal (2nd hand obv!)
I rarely buy clothes - my clothes generally come from "cheap" shops & I wear them till they fall to pieces - I have a very limited wardrobe & don't own anything that cost more than £30 & even that is a really good waterproof coat! I have a haircut when it absolutely needs it & I've put it off for at least 4 weeks too long! I have an 18" CRT tv and no other electronic devices (Wii, Sky tv, ipod etc) - everyone else thinks I'm weird because I don't have any of the "must have toys" though I will admit to a new laptop recently which I do love (only bought because old one died completely)


I'm 100% certain that I'm never going to be a complete spender, but I wondered at what point the moneysaving starts becoming just a bit too compulsive & OTT ... is there ever such a time?
I am worrying that I'm taking the MSE thing too far & not giving myself the chance to enjoy some of my hard-earned cash because I'm constantly worrying about "what if" and "saving for a rainy day"
Any tips for helping me to get the saving/spending balance a little more "balanced"?

emsywoo123

Are you happy?

Courgette

I'll be following this thread with intrest - I have exactly the same problem. But in answer to emsy, yes I'm happy I do wish I could let go a little and live in the present a bit more though

**confuzzled**

So long as you're happy what does it matter??? what are you planning to do with all this spare cash once you're mortgage free?? could you semi-retire and do your travelling then?? or is this something you want to do now??

From what you've said you do sound erm..serious:o but this just might be you??
If I were you, I'd probably have 1 holiday a year and carry on what you're doing for the rest of the year:) If you're on a really good wage why not do the 1/3 rule with wages...y'know 1/3 for bills, 1/3 save and 1/3 to play with???

Out of curiosity what's triggered this thought????? Has it come from you or from another source??? if you, then maybe you want give yourself a bit more freedom? if someone else..they're probably jealous:p:)

Courgette

When my sister was a baby she didn't have a cot mattress, my parents just used thick jumpers and pillows. I remember my mum and step-dad having a blazing row one day cos she'd bought some lovely nearly new towels in a charity shop for £1 and he thought that was a waste. We never had a phone you could make outgoing calls from and when I questioned this I had a cup of tea thrown over me (nice man) and when I was taken to uni for my first term I had to pay the petrol myself. We weren't hard up growing up, they, and my ex-SD especially, were just waaaaay OTT.

Are you that bad?

Lara44

Although I am the MSE addict, my OH is self-employed and feeling very vulnerable work-wise at the moment. We have a good chunk of money in the bank, with 5k set aside in case of a work drought for him.

We have just moved into a new house and he has vetoed any purchasing of new furniture I don't like to spend the money we have saved together when he's not in agreement. BUT - some of it is resting in my account, and I am going to get a patio set from John Lewis in the sale (we also have vouchers). And working hard to convince him that a barbecue is a necessary addition!

I think it's my fault for setting the savings target so high. We have been living enforced austerity for 5 years and its hard to readjust :eek:
(Apart from our supermarket bills which at the moment seem to me a disgrace!)

Lost and confused!

Hermia

I think as long as you are happy that's fine, but you sound like you are worrying that you may end up with regrets. E.g. you say you would love to travel, but can't bring yourself to spend the money. If in 5 years time you got an illness/disability that meant travel was never going to be a possibility would you regret it? If yes, I think you do need to rethink things. I know people who died young and had regrets because they had spent their lives putting things on hold. It is possible to be a MSE and still do the things you love. You just need to become a MSE about those things. After all, a lot of people do travel very cheaply.

I think it is something all frugal people should watch out for. My grandad spent his life saving and then when he was found himself well-off in retirement he could not enjoy the money. One of my friends started off as a moneysaver, but seems to have got to the point where she just cannot spend any money at all. She is really missing out on things because of it. I expect people who are like this probably have a personality trait which being frugal triggers, but I think it's always worth evaluating how you are living your life.

Person_one

Hermia wrote: »

I think as long as you are happy that's fine, but you sound like you are worrying that you may end up with regrets. E.g. you say you would love to travel, but can't bring yourself to spend the money. If in 5 years time you got an illness/disability that meant travel was never going to be a possibility would you regret it? If yes, I think you do need to rethink things. I know people who died young and had regrets because they had spent their lives putting things on hold. It is possible to be a MSE and still do the things you love. You just need to become a MSE about those things. After all, a lot of people do travel very cheaply.

I think it is something all frugal people should watch out for. My grandad spent his life saving and then when he was found himself well-off in retirement he could not enjoy the money. One of my friends started off as a moneysaver, but seems to have got to the point where she just cannot spend any money at all. She is really missing out on things because of it. I expect people who are like this probably have a personality trait which being frugal triggers, but I think it's always worth evaluating how you are living your life.

I agree, you never know what can happen tomorrow and if you keep putting things off, well they might never happen.

I know someone who died very young (22) and very suddenly. A few weeks before she had been on a holiday of a lifetime that she technically couldn't really afford, but she didn't want to miss the opportunity. I'm so glad she got to have that experience rather than waiting a year and never having the chance.

I'm not saying go on holidays you can't afford, that's not very MSE! But if you CAN afford them, and you have a safety net in place, please enjoy your life while you can!

January20

You are debt free and over paying in your mortgage which is excellent.

A car with a 53 plate is still relatively young considering modern technology, and a 2nd hand car could be quite inexpensive too, so I don't think you should worry too much about that right now.

Holidays abroad are not necessary. What is necessary is to have "down time", time to relax, to enjoy your life and recharge your batteries. Otherwise you will burn out. However, it's not compulsory to spend huge amounts of money to do that. I find a long walk with a coffee and a piece of cake somewhere along the way does the trick for me. Or a good book, a film or a pizza out with a couple of friends.

Gadgets are not necessary. I don't have any games consoles, etc, however I have a 32" tv. Some may think it's too big, but it's much easier on my eyes than my old little 14", specially as I watch a lot of films with subtitles. It's all to do with how you live your life. What's the point in having gadgets you won't ever use?

However, why not spoil yourself with clothes and a haircut when you need. Doesn't a haircut make you feel good?
If you were to die tomorrow, what good would it be to you to have a lot of money in the bank or be mortgage free?

Ladyhawk

I feel a little like this myself... maybe not quite so extreme though because I do have the occasional holiday.

I put over 2/3 of my salary into my mortgage and this make things a little tight. But I am seeing this as a challenge. Like OP I wonder why I am making things hard for myself when I don't really need to.

brians_daughter

1st things 1st... do you regret not having the holidays? If you do, then go and book one! I have been on both sides of the MSE coin..and i know which side i like best

When i joined MSE i was 10k in debt - i threw every penny i could at paying the debt off inc having 2 jobs and doing dog walking/babysitting etc on top of looking after my own 3 kids!

Once i had paid my debt off i saved the money i had usually put to paying my debt off into savings until i had 3 months salary saved (also have ISAs if the worst happened).

Now I am more secure I still earmark the money i used to use to pay off my debt/save and use this now so 1/4 goes into the savings and 1/2 is split between each of my sons bank account and the last 1/4 goes in the 'fun fund'!

The 'fun fund' (or this coming time our clubcard points!:j) pays for our holiday (every 2 years, not every year) and i still have savings etc.

I am not in a position to really overpay with my mortgage as my provider isnt flexible enough for it to feel worth it to me, but when i change providers soon i will prob go for an offset so my savings are linked to my mortgage interest, but i can still access it if needed!

For me and my family this works well! we get the best of all worlds, debt free, savings and still manage to spend on things we want ie holidays and sky etc...But i would never pay lots for a car/holiday etc...just what i am comfortable with! As long as you plan you can do the things you feel you may be missing out on, and in MSE fashion you can do it cheaply.