House moving and stress

jumblejulia

Hi everyone,

My partner and I are in the middle of our first ever house-buy and we're just about reaching the end of our emotional tethers in terms of stress. We both admitted that we've contemplated suicide (in a half-joking, but still very desperate sense). Both mental and physical health seem to have been affected, with both of us having trouble sleeping, grinding teeth in sleep, serious anxiety, doctors appointments for all sorts...

We've been looking to buy since August 09. Must have viewed over 50 houses, searched through 100's online, made offers on three, two fell through, the bank have been disorganised and rubbish every step of the way, and now we're dealing with a dispute over boundaries before we can agree to exchange on the third house.
When we first started we thought we'd realistically be in a house by Christmas, but now we're looking at end of June at the earliest. Both of us are living with parents and I'm travelling doubly-far to work every week as I'm moving to be nearer to London.

I can't keep on thinking that NEXT week will be the week we exchange. This has been going on for months. I'm at my wits end.
Anyone else??

maninthestreet

Moving house is up there with death of a close relative in terms of stress levels.

Wee_Willy_Harris

Housebuying? Sit down and logically go through everything. Work out the worst case timescales and costs for everything, then think of a number between 1 and 10 and multiply the result by that number, and I'll bet you will be nearer the truth!! It can go smoothly, and it can be a nightmare. Sadly, there is no way of predicting this. I'm afraid the only advice I can offer is that you should shrug and let your solicitor take as much of the stress as possible.

If it's any comfort, most of us will have a nightmare buying story to entertain friends and family at dinner parties, so you aren't alone.

I don't suppose it makes much difference but I'll say it anyway.... Try not to let it get you down.

tabskitten

Think Buying is bad?!?!?

Try SELLING!!!!

Wee_Willy_Harris

tabskitten wrote: »

Think Buying is bad?!?!?

Try SELLING!!!!

I have that covered as well.......

House selling? Sit down and logically go through everything. Work out the worst case timescales and costs for everything, then think of a number between 1 and 10 and multiply the result by that number, and I'll bet you will be nearer the truth!! It can go smoothly, and it can be a nightmare. Sadly, there is no way of predicting this. I'm afraid the only advice I can offer is that you should shrug and let your solicitor take as much of the stress as possible.

If it's any comfort, most of us will have a nightmare selling story to entertain friends and family at dinner parties, so you aren't alone.

I don't suppose it makes much difference but I'll say it anyway.... Try not to let it get you down.

Cannon_Fodder

Estate Agents love people like you. And some vendors do too.

Stressed people make bad decisions.
Stressed people overpay, because 'they don't want to miss out again.'
Stressed people barely skim their survey, as 'its been weeks already, get on with it'.
Stressed people make bad decisions - like an FTB choosing to buy a repo https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2345385 , for example.

Yes, the paperwork is annoying. Yes, finance/utility companies are incompetent. Change is stressful.

But hundreds of thousands of households move every year, and still there is no equivalent to the "stop smoking helpline" for "stressed movers". Because people are resilient.

Letting it get to you, to the point of doctors appointments, is taking it too seriously.

Oh, did I say?, stressed people make bad decisions.

jumblejulia

Cannon Fodder, no offence but that's not a very helpful response. I'm a very easy-going person and the reason our current process is taking so long is because we're doing it properly.

azkaban420

jumblejulia **hugs**, I am at the stressful selling stage, so I have all this buying stress to come yet. Hopefully all the stress you're under will be alleviated once you've finally moved in, and in years to come you can look back at it all and laugh it off. I don't think you're the only one...I was waiting for an offer to be finalised the day before yesterday - didn't eat/sleep, felt sick, and I've had many more days like this, but it will be OVER sometime

All the best,

Az

carla40

tabskitten wrote: »

Think Buying is bad?!?!?

Try SELLING!!!!

tell me about it, :mad: we have had a buyer since february, shes been keeping us hanging on because she was having difficulty getting the rest of her deposit together, she told us she was waiting for a court date to get the money from her divorce settlement, then she said she can go ahead if we drop another £2500 off the price, we were that angry with her that we put it back on the market, two days later she suddenly found the money she needed, because we are not buying again, we have to find somewhere to rent, so we have to keep her waiting until we have found somewhere, we couldnt do this earlier incase she pulled out, now SHES trying to rush us :mad:

QTPie

Hang in there. Keep on top of things (keep regularly talking to your solicitor and make sure to do anything you need to to ensure rapid progression), but don't let things get on top of you (some things you cannot control, so there is no point stressing over it... Let it go).

We have been actively looking since April 2009 (when we sold). Discovered I was pregnant in May. Temporarily stopped looking at beginning of November. Had baby at end of Jan. Started looking end of Feb. Had an offer accepted two weeks ago. Whole house needs gutting (awful lot to think about!!!): hope to complete by the end of July, be in by end of September. Despite having builders to do everything, there is still far too much to think about.... All with my shrunken baby brain! I would also have loved to be in before baby is 8 months old (we have definitely outgrown where we are now!)

Friends from our antenatal group made a BIG mistake rushing a flat purchase at the nd of their pregnancy (to ensure that they were in before the birth). Probably overpaid for it, lots of funny business from the seller (a very small developer), they moved in Christmas week, found that the renovations were badly done (leaking plumbng, dangerous wiring), had to have emergency repairs done, pursuing costs through home insurance, traumatic birth, rest of apartment block a noisy building site, so unhappy that they want to sell again, relationship problems (may or may not have been contributed to by stress of buying...). Would have been better off continuing to rent (like us) and not rushing or str

You just have to prioritise, work through things, keep focussed on the end goal and hang in there...

The_Negotiator

I too have a boundary issue on the house I was supposed to complete on last week (only found out how serious it was on Wednesday last week). Absolute nightmare.