Motivated Mon 7th June - daily chat thread

SuzySu

TBH Elf I would not even give them the satisfaction of a reply. People like that say nasty things to get a reaction and it is THE MOST frustrating thing if you don't bother giving one. Seriously. What you think is absolutely right. They are ugly on the inside and that will always show on the outside. Don't lower yourself to their level. Easier said than done sometimes - I know.

postingalwaysposting

elfen wrote: »

BTw, is this too mean to say to someone who called me 10 months pregnant: I can lose weight, whereas you have to wake up to your !!!! ugly face every morning cos you can't afford plastic surgery

Yes because how do you know they arn't thinking the same about you Would you like to be told something like that?

elfen

Been told worse pap so it wouldn't actually bother me.

elfen

And now I feel !!!! cos of what theyve been saying. Some people know just where to jab to bring you down dont they

postingalwaysposting

elfen wrote: »

Been told worse pap so it wouldn't actually bother me.

Maybe but you could seriously hurt the feelings of the person you say it too. Do as Suzy says and ignore it they are just wanting a reaction. The best thing you could do is lose the weight and prove them wrong. Actions speak louder than words as they say

SuzySu

You are not a nasty person Elf, so don't stoop to it.

People are only rude like that if they have insecurities of their own. Or because they have been hurt in the past. Don't add to their issues - stay strong and focus on the achievements that you have done. It really is such a playground comment (hurtful though it is).

postingalwaysposting

elfen wrote: »

And now I feel !!!! cos of what theyve been saying. Some people know just where to jab to bring you down dont they

You ony feel upset because you are letting them upset you. If it was a stranger who knew nothing about you would it bother you as much?

I have had my fair share of physical and mental abuse/bullying. I means there are snipits in my workplace now. you just have to find coping stratagys. I guess it takes time to develop those.

elfen

Kinda late now. But he has shut up. And nalle did come and poke me, and that made me smile.

Pap, if it was a stranger, I'd probably feel worse. A few years ago it wouldn't have affected me, but now I know it's due to something else.

Butti

elfen wrote: »

And now I feel !!!! cos of what theyve been saying. Some people know just where to jab to bring you down dont they

It depends Elfen on whether you think there is any value in what they are saying, or as the therapist used to say to me.

'Does this person ever say anything nice to you?'
'Do they give you balanced positive and negative comments?'
'Therefore do you think they are giving you a balanced viewpoint?'

If the answer is No you can disregard them as they wouldn't understand balanced views or positive criticism if it fell off a tower block and crushed them.

(Which incidently is also a nice bit of visualisation!)

B

Butti

PAPs right,

I used to say '...and your positive comment is'......'I'm sure there must be a positive coming now to balance your negative comment' .....'Have you thought of saying anything nice to me today'......etc.etc.etc.

Its a broken record and it makes them look one sided and a bit stupid.

B