NOTICE TO NEWCOMERS - Part 7 !!!!!!!

BorassicLint

IF

Fred wandering again!!:eek:

Good evening bump from me x

Numpty_Monkey

Tis busy tonight

and I have got on exam tomorrow:eek:

3Dogs

Hiya IfWishes - how's your day been?

We've had an exciting one - my 3 dogs have temporarily become 5 dogs !!! My next door neighbour is away in Scotland working and his ladyfriend was looking after his house and dogs. To cut a long story short, that includes a suicide attempt, paramedics, police, ambulance and breaking down a door to gain entry, we offered to look after his dogs until he can be contacted and comes home.

So we now have 3 Jack Russells and 2 very friendly and hairy Lapso Apsos - all 5 getting on so far, luckily. We will have to wait and see what tonight and tomorrow brings!!!!

.........

handyman123_2

Good evening all, Handyman wants to introduce you to another of his old mates George the Murderer. Now George has never murdered anything, apart from a few songs. His musical repertoire includes such old time classics as the Auld Triangle by the Dubliners and My Brothers Got Piles by Ivor Biggun and the Red Nosed Bandits (Doc Cox from That’s Life with Esther Rantzen).

My Bothers got piles, he never ever smiles, you’d be glum if you had his bum, my brothers got piles.
Now I’m sure George, Maggot, The Reverend Boon and many of my old gang wont mind me telling you about them, as they have “Dinned Out” many times on the Adventures / Misadventures of yours truly. Unfortunately I lost touch with George about 9 years ago, so George if your out there? give me a call!

I was in the NAFFI at RAF Marham one Friday night, Having a Beer with Maggot and a few of the usual suspects. Maggot was waxing lyrical about the Victorian Art of Physionogomy, which is to judge a persons type by the shape of their head and face.
He said “Look at the Reverend He has a round moon like face“, “Large round eyes”. “Everything about him says I’m a Vicar you can trust me”.
“Slap Head over there has a Bullet shaped head that women love”. “The receding Forehead is caused by headboard friction, Proving he is a lover and a lady’s man.
“Handy has a head shaped like an Egg, showing his supposed intelligence”.

It was at this moment George walked in. A young lad of 18, Lantern jawed, with a protruding top set of teeth and a slight facial twitch.
“Evening Chapths” he said in a cut glass, if not slightly chipped accent. “I’m George, am I in the right plaith”. As he finished speaking the twitch took over causing him to lip smack, rather like Hannibal Lector discussing a meal of Liver and Alfalfa.

Maggot never even looked up from his pint, “He’s a Murderer” he said.
And so George the Murderer was born.
I could tell you about the time Maggot took him to be neutered in a Berlin Cat House, but that’s a bit of an after the watershed story.
　
Best wishes to all, handyman.

handyman123_2

3Dogs wrote: »

So we now have 3 Jack Russells and 2 very friendly and hairy Lapso Apsos - all 5 getting on so far, luckily. We will have to wait and see what tonight and tomorrow brings!!!!

.........

Hi [STRIKE]3[/STRIKE]5 Dogs, What a day. Sounds like your place gets to be like Hooray Hall. Life sometimes gets to much, but it never gets boring does it? Hope your nieghbours girlfriend is going to be all right. Don't worry the dogs will sort themselves out. I'd back a Jacko over a Lapso anytime. Just dont let the Lapsos on the bed, My 2 borders take up enough room.

Best wishes, handy.

handyman123_2

Numpty_Monkey wrote: »

Tis busy tonight

and I have got on exam tomorrow:eek:

Good Luck tomorrow Mate, :beer: What computer does this one allow you to drive now?:)

Cheers, handy

3Dogs

handyman123 wrote: »

I'd back a Jacko over a Lapso anytime. Just dont let the Lapsos on the bed, My 2 borders take up enough room.

Hiya Handy - with the two of us and 3 Jacks aready, I'm hoping the Lapsos will sleep on the floor - it's 'cosey' enough without them!!!
How was your day today - no ranting so I hope that means it was a quieter day for you

Numpty_Monkey wrote: »

and I have got on exam tomorrow:eek:

What is your exam Numpty? Good luck with it whatever it is

handyman123_2

3Dogs wrote: »

How was your day today - no ranting so I hope that means it was a quieter day for you

I'm saving the ranting for later, example this morning it P'd it down, Lady H had a delivery of 4 box's of new plants and shrubs for the garden. It took 2 hours to make up her mind where they had to go. Half the places she wanted them, I had planted up last month only she had forgotten and not looked to see what had been done.
(these arn't just any plants they come mail order) (I can buy better locally at 1/3 of the price).

When I'd finished planting, I was dripping my way to my cottage. I couldnt even see where I was going, soaked to the skin, coated in mud and water running down my face.
Lady H drove past in her car. Is it done she asked? Yes I told her tugging my forelock, I will go round and water them in when I've got changed and dried off, I joked.
I hope you will she said a full watering can to each plant!.

Did I mention how thick she is.:mad:

Cheers, handyman123.

handyman123_2

Night all, Handys off to bed. Best wishes to all the night owls, troll bashers and spambusters XX.