Ex carer needing help.

flufff

Can someone kindly help please.I've been a lone parent since my divorce 9 years ago.

My eldest who was special needs and was still in school was not returned by his father 12 days ago.I have informed benefits and they are carrying on with my carers allowance for 4 weeks as I am struggling to see a solicitor to try and bring him home as he lacks mental capacity.

My other children are 9,13 and 15.I am a mature part time law student.Part time being 3 hours less than full time.Next September would be start of my third year.Being part time I have my fees waived but had to go part time to retain carers benefits.The aim was to finish university as my son was going through special needs college.

Firstly Ive had no time to budget and am anticipating a big drop in money.
As of October if you have a child over 7 I understand I will be forced off my course into jobseekers.
My head and heart are a mess over my son.
I am far into my course modules are impossible to change.
Do the job centre have to rehabilitate me after years of caring?Can they force me off my decent course into some dead end minimum wage 16 hour job or are they forced to look at bigger picture of my study.Can I get any help?My tutor has sent me to the doctor and student counsellor due to stress of it all.
Solicitor says this isn't going to be a quick process and I may not recover my son is a possibility.

Oldernotwiser

Lone parents on JSA aren't expected to look for full time work and should be able to carry on with part time study as long as they are available for employment for a substantial amount of time.

Alternatively, you could switch to full time study and take out the normal HE funding package which could then be topped up by benefits if necessary.

flufff

I am too far into course to change modules to full time.I'l be in Uni mon,thurs and fri.I actually spend more time travelling in than being in but its a full day gone.Weekends children at home,no family which only leaves tuesdays and wednesdays but I have to study too.

AnxiousMum

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but you seem more concerned with a drop in income than the fact that your son has not been returned by the non resident parent! Do you have a court order which specifies what the access is? If so, I'd have been on the phone to police to report my son missing/kidnapped within hours of him not being returned!

kingfisherblue

If it was my son (and yes, I do have a son with special needs), I would be camping on the doorstep of the courts to get him back. My ex wouldn't have a clue about his medication, appointments, etc. I genuinely think that my son's place is at home with me, seeing his dad once a week. This isn't because I don't care about my ex's rights but because I do care about my son and his needs.

OP, are you trying to get your son back? You say that you are trying to bring him home as he lacks mental capacity, but concentrate more on the effects this has on your course and income.

AnxiousMum

Being a law student I'm surprised you havent' researched this a little with regards to the return of your son. If your son's mental capacity is such that he needs to be with you, the Police will get involved - with a residence order or not. Also, being a law student - do you not have access to some pretty good, free legal advice in the way of your instructors/professors/faculty at the school you are attending?

flufff

You know what quite frankly I am disgusted by your replies.

If I could get my son back I would.At 18 you have no parental rights.His dad has holed him up and I have sent police around who say it is a civil matter.I have to prove via advocacy that he lacks mental capacity as he is autistic and this is a newly legislated area.If I camp on his Dad's doorstep I'll be arrested.You have absolutly no idea of implications nor is that any of your business.I posted on here as having been a carer for 9 years I don't know benefits system or how things work and was hoping someone could advise a way that I could remain on my course.

Please can a moderator remove those of you have left ignorant unhelpful comments.

flufff

Re legal advise firstly I have no mental capacity lecturers.Secondly I already have been told it is unethical to give me advice or they would have to do so for all the other students.Really there are some shallow minded fools on here.

dmg24

flufff wrote: »

Re legal advise firstly I have no mental capacity lecturers.Secondly I already have been told it is unethical to give me advice or they would have to do so for all the other students.Really there are some shallow minded fools on here.

Posts like that are not going to help you get the advice you need!

The law relating to mental capacity is relatively new, but there is a great deal of guidance on the subject. Do you have Power of Attorney?

AnxiousMum

I will ignore your calling me a shallow minded fool, as quite obviously you are distraught over the loss of your child. Does anybody have a residence order for the child? Does the dad have any medications, does he understand the dosages, things to look for, all of the things that might be a danger to your child and have his house set up in a manner that is suitable to your child? Does the child attend school?

Re the legal advice - don't most law schools allow final year students to offer some legal advice? Forgive me if I'm wrong - I know that they do in Canada, but unsure as to whether they can here in the UK or not.

Oldernotwiser

flufff wrote: »

I am too far into course to change modules to full time.I'l be in Uni mon,thurs and fri.I actually spend more time travelling in than being in but its a full day gone.Weekends children at home,no family which only leaves tuesdays and wednesdays but I have to study too.

The most sensible thing would be to transfer your credits to the OU to finish your degree, which will enable you to be available for work. You may well find that this fits better with family life than studying as you are at the moment.