Question of Fairness, Council Tax and Partner

purpleness

Hi,

I'm in a bit of a quandry that I wouldn't mind some people's opinions on, and this forum always seems to be full of pretty level-headed people -

I've been a full-time student for the last 3 years, and living with my girlfriend about the same time, who has not been a student until very recently.

Basically we've had a Council Tax bill (of about £500) hanging over us as a household for the past year or two, from when she was not a student and not claiming Council Tax Benefit either (or paying council tax, obviously!). We've been arguing with the council about it for a long, long time (over some other issues), involving months and months of letters, hours of phonecalls, visits to the council showing letters, etc... 99% done by me.

Anyway, I just gave in recently and paid them the full £500 amount to be done with it.

Now, after all that - the big question - am I wrong to suggest gently to my girlfriend that the bill was not really mine to pay, seeing as I've been un-taxed the whole time? And that I'm actually quite generous for agreeing to split a bill that is basically the result of her not being responsible for her own tax?
There is also a history of my girlfriend owing me very large amounts of money already because of a combination of _me being the only one who sorts out bills_ and _she conveniently forgetting to pay me back anything_ (wow, I sound like a right mug!). We also split most things down the middle (other bills), though as I just mentioned, I also end up paying a lot more for many things (like paying off debts in lump amounts)

Any objective/outsider viewpoints would be very much appreciated! :beer:

Fang_3

You were living together so you should split everything evenly in relation to the home. But frankly she sounds like a sponging loser who should be thrown out with the rubbish.

ailuro2

If your finances are at all linked you did the right thing, her failure to pay bills will affect your credit rating.;)

ceridwen

I don't blame you for being upset with her. She is clearly not paying her way - on everything, not just this particular bill.

Personally - well...I would never have let it get this far with her owing me this much. However - it HAS gone this far - so, in your position, I would write out a list of exactly what she owes me, make a copy for myself and give her her copy and say (in a very firm tone of voice) "I cant afford anyone to owe me money - I'm only a student - and I need to have this all back by 1 month from now - or my finances will be up the swanee". The ball is then in her court. She will doubtless argue/make excuses/etc - but why should you subsidise her? I must say my reaction to her is "Wake up honey - it's the 21st century now and men DON'T subsidise women anymore. We're on equal money now" (errr...I DO hope you are doing your share of the housework - or you could be on a sticky wicket if you said anything like that....but I'll assume you do do half of it...).

Of course there is the more roundabout (okay - devious) way of dealing with this = make sure that the next few large bills are in her name only and refuse to have anything to do with paying them. Keep doing this until she has "paid you back" what she owes you by this more indirect method. If she ups and leaves rather than pay them - give the companies her address to forward the bills onto - and at least you would know exactly where you stand with her (the resident "wallet" by the sound of it).

Sorry - that sounds a bit harsh - but it does sound like she is using you and I would prefer to avoid you being at risk of subsidising her any further. I am wondering if you come from some well-off background and she doesn't - so, at some level, perhaps she thinks your parents will end up paying you back the money she has had from you?

January20

Has this girl lived on her own before when she would have been responsible for her own bills? Or has she just moved from her parents house to living with you?

I think it is quite easy for some people to relinquish all responsibilities if they know that there is someone else who will sort it out for them. It looks like you are her safety nets as she knows she can be as irresponsible as she wants and you will pay the bills for her.

I think you should insist on her paying you back what she owes you and perhaps work out a way of making her responsible for something like some of the utilities - equal to 1/2 your monthly outgoings - and you don't interfere/ don't help her out so that if she doesn't pay a bill she has to suffer the consequences. She will never take responsibility if you don't force her to.

[Deleted User]

You need to sit down and have a long chat it seems....

Yes she owes you money from the CTax, but it's up to you to decide if it's worth the hassel and likely arguments it sounds like it's going to bring getting it back. But you should never lend friends/loved ones money that you cannot afford to loose, if you get it back then always consider it a bonus!

My best advice to you now it to make sure it doesn't happen again. Firstly, ensure that half of the bills are in your name and half in hers. (Are you financially linked/shared bank account? - normally I'd suggest getting one for the bills, but if she's this terrible with money you don't really want to be connected with her financially.)

Work out a realistic budget for all joint financial commitments (perhapse even overestimate them, as if any end up being underpaid, it sounds like she won't cough up) - and do this with her (preferably), and if not in front of her, and make sure you both know each month (and when each month) what bill needs to be paid, how much for, for what and when. And tell her which of the bills she's responsible for, and which ones you are.

Does she work? Have any monthly income? Get Direct Debits for the bills set up on her bank account the day after she gets paid - then you know the bills she's responsible for are getting paid.

silvercar

If you want the opposing view:

You knew she wasn't a student and so would have a council tax liability.

You chose to live with her rather than live with other students.

Living with someone involves sharing bills.

You should pay half.


From her point of view, she lived with you rather than with someone who was also earning. Had she lived with another earner she could have halved the total bill.

Incidentally, as a student you would be exempt, so she should have got a 25% single eligible person discount.

viktory

Can you not just talk to her about this? I am assuming you generally get on, so have a proper talk and express your concerns.

Person_one

I think you should both be responsible for paying half the council tax bills and half of every other bill. Don't talk about how generous you are in offering to pay any of it, that would get my back right up if I were her! It is the household that is responsible for the bill imo and you being part of it is helpful in that it provides the 25% discount but I don't think you have any argument for paying none of it when you're part of a couple.

You need to sit down and have a proper chat about the finances and have a plan in place for where everythings coming from that's the same each month. Actually you should have done this before you even moved in together! If you don't already have a joint account I'm not sure I'd recommend getting one as it sounds like a risk to your credit score but maybe you could set up a current account in your name where you both pay a set amount in each month and all the direct debits come out of it.

samandona

You clearly have more money than alot of students because you had £500 to throw at a bill. That said, you are generous to be paying anything towards a council tax bill you are not really obliged to pay.
She doesn't sounds all that reliable to me. And yes, the word "mug" does spring to mind.

Silver - sometimes living with a partner is the only feasible option. Atleast in the city I live in, it is very VERY difficult to find student accomodation unless there are a group of about 4 or 5 of you who all want to live together. Simply saying that because he knew his gf wasnt a student means he should pay half the council tax bill is utter rubbish. It is not his responsibility, it is hers. He can prove to the powers that be he is not obliged to pay so they will come chasing his gf.

purpleness

Thanks for all your responses,

Yeah I think it's probably fair to split everything down the middle.

I moved out of my parents' house and in with her so I didn't know much about Council Tax (whereas she had already been living here for a year or two, plus she had lived in another place for about 3 years before this). We didn't actually get the bill until about 18 months after I'd moved in (coincidentally the same time we switched Energy suppliers) so I presume they didn't know she was there, and she didn't even clock on to the fact that she wasn't getting a bill.

By the way, the only reason I could pay the large bills is because I get a student loan, and so had a lump sum in my account - so I'm gonna be very skint very soon!

The other issues about sharing finances, I'm starting to sort out now (splitting everything else) - I was mainly just unsure about the Council Tax bill and whether I was potentially being an Our Soul about it or not - I guess I was!

Thanks for your help!

( Oh on a sidenote, when I was talking to the Council about the whole Student/Non-Student issue, they said the Non-Student does *NOT* get a 25% Single Person Discount because they're living with someone! Pretty ridiculous )