Relationship to give it a go or not

lazing_around

Is it possible to give a relationship another go when you don't love the other person

hieveryone

Personally, I don't think so - can you give more details?

micron_2

Yes it is always possible to give it another go but why would you want to?

newcook

short answer - no!

why would you want to be with someone when you dont love them? I know I wouldnt want to be with someone knowing they didnt love me!!

Ladyhawk

nooooooooooooooooooooooooo no no no no no.... was that clear?

lazing_around

Hi,
Sorry it’s taken a while to post back I have to watch what I’m doing on comp . Thank you for your replies. A bit of history, We’ve been together 9 years have two children both under 6. Basically most of the relationship has been full of his lying - working when he wasn’t, flirting online, meeting up with ladies (2 that I know of). I asked him to leave a couple of mths ago, said he wouldn’t go without sols letter, so I went to sols & sent him a letter giving him notice. He is now asking for time to try again. I’ve had three conversations since deadline of letter where he’s asking to stay & he’ll commit & show me that he will improve. I’ve had tears (tantrums have stopped in light of sols letter saying that I will go for non mol inj is he kicks off), his feelings about some other stuff has come out - personal to him, but as hard as I’m being it’s a little to late. There’s no trust, loyalty, don’t love him & I’ve told him, so I think he’s just grasping at straws to stay.
We had our last chat last week where I ended up saying I would think about him staying, but as he’s trying to be nice and is planning lots of things with kids this week, if I talk to him now, he’ll not want anything to do with them then we’ll upset them as he’s already told them that we’re going out.
I know this is being controlling, but part of me is now wondering if it’s worth giving it another go - though I know in my heart we’ll end up back her. We’ve already tried counselling (1 session) both tried but didn’t work. He blames me for not trying…
I suppose I just want to make sure I’m doing the right thing for myself and my kids. If we stay together I’ll never be happy as I will never be able to trust him…

shell_girl

Treat yourself to a copy of Pat Craven's 'Living with a Dominator'... or even better google 'freedom programme' and her name and read the first couple of chapters for free :money:

If things in that book sound familiar then you're doing the right thing in getting out

Money_maker

It would be unfair and unbelievably cruel to back out from his plans with the kids no matter what happens in your relationship - is this really the sort of man he is?

I know what I would do but of course the option is yours.

You may well want to have a look at some of the other similar posts on here over the last few months, many have faced your dilemma but it takes great courage to break free.

lazing_around

Shell_girl, I'll have a read now while I can - I'm not at home

Money maker he would back out to cause maximum damage to minimum input - then he'll tell kids it's may fault.

he's already told them mummy told dady to leave and he's got to go & live on streets as he's got no where to go & that he won't be able to see them ever again...

I've come this far so I really don't want to back down.

Thank you all

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Nah. No chance for a relationship on that basis.

You're going to have to be tougher.

No bloke is incapable of finding somewhere to live unless he has serious mental/physical health issues. And then the council has a duty to house him in a b&b.

I doubt if that is the case for him though.

I wish you strength.

chriszzz

If you know in your heart of hearts that you dont love him, then there is no point trying, you will only be delaying the enevitable.