advice needed on behalf of my brother - re. engagement ring

bristol_pilot

I believe the position IN THE UK is that an engagement ring is a gift and that he is not entitled to have the ring back if she breaks off the engagement. Unless your brother can prove that she promised to return the ring, I'm afraid he will lose a court case. Also, a second-hand engagement ring is worth only a small fraction of what it cost new. It would be better to write off the £800 as a price well worth paying for a narrow escape.

Kavanne

Minxy_Bella wrote: »

There's no way he'd sell it for £800 anyway and I just think he'd have more dignity and would be able to hold his head high if they both weren't scrabbling over a piece of jewellery that has lost it's meaning.

Correct. 2nd hand jewellery sells for 1/3 to 1/4 of retail value so he'd probably get between £200-£250 for it if he tried to sell it.

Soubrette

Here's what CAB have to say http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/your_family/family/getting_married.htm

If an engagement is broken, a woman can keep the engagement ring unless, at the time she was given it, the man specifically said that it should be returned if the engagement were broken.

Sou

*Louise*

I would also be advising he cut his losses and look to the future and concentrate on finding someone who will deserve him.

Fair enough if it was worth thousands, it might have a high retail value, but for £800 he would be better holding his head high and forgetting about her and the ring.

strawberries1

Just gonna put my 2 cents in.
An engagement ring is not a gift. It's presented as a request to promise marriage and accepted as such. If she's no longer interested she sld return it, especially as she was involved with someone else . Serious breach of promise, she sld not ve accepted it if she wasn't sure. Now that things are the way they are she sld apologise and return the ring.

Person_one

strawberries1 wrote: »

Just gonna put my 2 cents in.
An engagement ring is not a gift. It's presented as a request to promise marriage and accepted as such. If she's no longer interested she sld return it, especially as she was involved with someone else . Serious breach of promise.

Morally, but not legally. An engagement ring is just a symbolic gift and not a contract or a dowry.

OP, if he had a chance of getting £800 for the ring I could see how it might be worth it but as Minxy_Bella and Kavanne have said that isn't going to happen.

dontone

Thankyou so much for the replies everybody.

I can see both sides of what everybody is saying, that's why I have asked here for him because it is a little bit of a grey area and the advice online regarding the law is a bit muddled and confusing.

I think that she wants the best of both worlds. When they were together he was never allowed to do anything unless she was there, (she was a law unto herself and did as she pleased) Now they are no longer together, he has found a new zest for life, and although he was upset at the start of the break up he is happier that he has ever been in the last 8-9 years. It's like I got my brother back, which is great.
He is totally better of without her, all his friends are back in his life and he has made lots of plans.
I think that she doesn't like that he's getting on with it and wants to upset him and play him off against this other guy.
She has promised to give this ring back, the £800 value is what I have understood it to be - it could be more but I don't know. He understands that he probably won't get back what he paid for it, but like I said before he doesn't see why she should benefit from something that she doesn't want.
Personally I think that she's played him like a fiddle and he's realised he's better off emotionally. BUT when someone keeps rearing their ugly head saying that they are going to do what is right and doesn't, it's hard to let go.

ailuro2

For anyone reading this who is about to get engaged, once you decide on the ring, make sure you get your names and the date of engagement engraved as a symbol of the date you became betrothed... and it also stops it being sold for much money or used with someone else if you split up..:p

OP, if you want to help him have a laugh about it rather than fuelling bad feeling, help him write a list of all the horrible things he'd like to say to her about her keeping the ring, but then don't say them, just burn the list and let it all go...

here's one or two to start the list...

you've heard she is going to sell the ring to pay for cosmetic help for something embarassing (does anyone here remember the anal bleaching thread??:rotfl:)

you've heard she is going to use the money to pay for an enlargement op for the new boyfriend.

Laughter is the best medicine, honestly!!;)

gratefulforhelp_2

He needs to consider how this may look to any future partners he has. I would think that taking someone to small claims over an engagement ring may not be a "good look" in the eyes of any future partner he may have?

Minxy_Bella

If it was me, I wouldn't still be talking to her.


Let her go off with her new fella and screw his life over. Your brother's better off out of it. There's plenty of lovely girls out there who'd be happy to appreciate him.