Starting my Journey

Ashamed_2

Hi Miggy, thanks for coming over to see me .

Yes, the quitting smoking was a huge step. I personally quit cold turkey, no patches, tablets, inhalers or gun, just pure cold turkey. I suffered hard for the first 3 days, then once I got used to the break in the routine, I then just has to overcome the cravings I got for the next 3 weeks. It's been over a month for me now and I can honestly say that the cravings are maybe once a day if that now. So I think I'm well on the way. My wife quit 1 week after me and was on the tablets, then switched to patches as the side effects from those tablets are a nightmare.

We are planning a little holiday (long weekend) in November or as soon as we break the £55k barrier. then if we can break the £45k mark in July next year we will go on our first proper family holiday in the sun somewhere (not too expensive though;) ). That's the one I'm really looking forward to . My daughter has only ever been to the beach once but she went with my wife as I could not afford for all of us to go. But now hopefully July next year when we smash that £45k barrier we will get to all go on holiday together for the first time. Do you know how good that makes me feel?. I'm getting tears in my eyes just thinking about it.

miggy

[QUOTE=Ashamed;35184795I_personally_quit_cold_turkey,_no_patches,_tablets,_inhalers_or_gun,_[/QUOTE]

Oo-er! Drastic! ROFL (sorry, I have some interesting typos I made myself )

Actually the quitting smoking is fantastic, I wish you & your wife all the very best for it. In some ways I think it's a bigger acheivement than paying off debts, and that's saying something.
Our kids didn't go abroad apart from the school trip (which cost enough to have sent all of us) until they were in their teens - we only went as far as Normandy but it was a great holiday: I'm so glad we did it. For me it was a feeling of 'making the grade' which is silly as I'm proud of what I've been able to do for my kids and richer people's norms shouldn't define that. But anyway we went and had fun and it will be your turn soon! (Even reluctant 17-y.o says it was a good holiday).
Funnily, a couple of years on and both the older ones are getting multiple opportunities to travel - DD did voluntary work in the States and is now in Greece with wider family, and DS is saving to go to the States with friends. I think I've started something!
The November break is a lovely idea, it will give you a breather from everything. Don't forget the very small, more immediate treats too - such as cream cake Fridays or a walk at the weekend - whatever floats the boat. And give yourselves a pat on the back when you make a saving rather than getting angry when someone slips up.

Ashamed_2

Yeah, a bit extreme isn't it. I don't know anyone else who uses a gun to give up smoking either (unless of course they are really addicted, but then that's taking it too far).

Ah little treats as well. I didn't even think of that. Pay off more than £1k in one month and treat ourselves to a chinese takeaway oooh yeah that sounds good.


edit ** (actually just worked it out, according to my figures £balance - £A +£interst = £B . In order to get £B to be £1k less than £balance I would need to pay £A the sum of at least £1360.45. Currently the most I can afford to pay a month towards debts is £1100.00. Which is what makes it challenging. I need to somehow save or make another £260.45 a month and put it towards paying off the debts to get a chinese take away.

I'm sure chinese takeaway is going to taste so much better when you've been looking forward to it for 30 days !!!.

[Deleted User]

Hello Ash,

Great to see you posting back - you and your OH are doing brilliantly. Stopping smoking is the BesT ever thing that you've probably done for your future as a family. The debt-busting journey might not take the path we planned, but you're really heading in the right direction. And you've got this site to keep you on the straight!

I think that little treats are vital on a long journey - whether that be a slice of cake or a bus trip out somewhere for the three of you with a picnic - a mini one-day holiday Please remember to enjoy now... oh, and your holiday in November sounds fabulous.

If you've got as much as you say you have to sell, I'll think you've got about 4-5 months in which you could easily meet your target for a Chinese meal.... and if you don't, well... prawn crackers don't cost much in Tesco, you can boil your own rice and just buy one main meal each from the take out :cool:

Ashamed_2

Deleted_User wrote: »

and if you don't, well... prawn crackers don't cost much in Tesco, you can boil your own rice and just buy one main meal each from the take out :cool:

How much is a jar of sweet chilli stir fry sauce . I think the home made chinese would probably be healthier anyway. Why waste that £20 on a take away (wife may not agree lol)

Ashamed_2

Well, after all that talk about doing this and doing that. We just lost sight of what we were doing and why we were doing it. We started to slip back into our old ways.

Treating the daughter to the cinema a few times this month.
Having more than the scheduled takeaways.
Buying her new clothes and shoes.
2 Weddings to attend this month and wedding presents to buy.
2 family birthdays this month angain with presents.
Realised we couldn't do without that 2nd car so had to buy another one.
A window shopping trip went terribly wrong and we ended up buying something for the house.
We really did jack s$*# this month to help ourseleves finacially and have pushed our schedule back 2 months. This month we only managed to reduce our debts as follows:

Credit cards and loans: £183 paid off
Mortgage: £399 paid off

I don't know what to say, but I do know one thing. Without this site and entering this information in my Diary no mater how good or bad we have done. Makes us aware of what we are doing and where the money has been spent. I guess without this Diary we wouldn't know how good or bad we are doing and wouldn't be able to pull ourselves back on track.

So we have a lot of work to do next month to get ourselves back on track. At present the "* November 2010 - Break the £55k mark (i.e. now owe less than £55k)" is now looking like Jan 2011. So we relaly need to get this back to November to get back on track.

It's so easy to slip but it's very hard to get back up.

Debt Paid Off this month = £582.00
Total Debt Paid Off so far = £7853.79

[Deleted User]

A Japanese proverb states "fall down seven times, get up eight"

You're doing fine. As part of any long journey, there is a guarantee that you will "fail" so it's all normal what you describe. For that reason, please stop beating yourself up... it's not helpful to anyone.

Do you think that the stress of being so extreme with your challenges is pushing your family too hard? I appreciate you want to clear massive debts, but please be careful that you look after your marriage. Debts play a significant part in the break up of many relationships as this site can testify, so may be you need to check out your plans so they're manageable and enable you to live now, not just put your nose to the grindstone for the next few years when you'll wake up and realise you don't know the woman you're married to any more as you've not communicated much about anything but money.

Why not juggle the dates to debt-free ness if that enables you and your wife to spend a little 'frivolous' money (ring-fenced to an amount agreed by you both?)

Remember - slow and stead wins the race, go too fast and you burn out just as rapidly.

Sincerely wishing you well.

Ashamed_2

Thanks Hip House.

We need to change that proverb "fall down seven times, get picked up eight" . You are always a breath of fresh air and reassurance to me in your posts. Thanks for repsonding :beer:

[Deleted User]

I (along with 1,000's of others) were where you were once.

My journey was a tough and lonely one (before MSE existed). I share my own experiences because some lessons are worth sharing to save others from the harshness of learning!

You have family - that's more important than EVERYTHING else so demands more attention than debt, without undermining the debtfree journey.

Remember one thing - your family will continue to thrive whether you pay off the debt fast or slow. Make happy memories through time, don't just make plans for when you're debt free. So much can change in a blink of the eye that perspective is all. Keep smiling and keep it simple.

Ashamed_2

I've been looking through my Credit card statements over the last few months since May and compared this to my spreadsheet that I fill in each month with outstnading balances and projections etc. It seems I've got the figures wrong right from the start. I've only noticed this month when looking at balance from previous months which on most of the cards was actually wrong. The total balance was correct but the individual balance figures were a bit of a mess and didn't even add up to the overall total (which was correct).

I've redone the spreadsheets

Estimates are now looking as follows:
Projected
* November 2010 - Break the £55k mark (i.e. now owe less than £55k)
* April 2011 - HSBC Credit Card paid off
* April 2011 - Tesco Credit Card paid off
* July 2011 - Break the £45k mark
* February 2012 - Santander Credit Card paid off
* March 2012 - Break the £35k mark
* November 2012 - Break the £25k mark
* February 2013 - Barclaycard Credit Card paid off
* March 2013 - DFS load paid off
* June 2013 - Break the £15k mark
* September 2013 - Halifax Credit Card paid off
* September 2013 - ALL CREDIT CARDS PAID OFF !!!!
* October 2013 - Break the £10k mark
* December 2013 - HP loan paid off
* April 2014 - Halifax Home owner load paid off
* April 2014 - ALL LOANS PAID OFF !!!!

Actual
* Feb 2011- Break the £55k mark (i.e. now owe less than £55k)
* April 2011 - HSBC Credit Card paid off
* April 2011 - Tesco Credit Card paid off
* September 2011 - Break the £45k mark
* March 2012 - Santander Credit Card paid off
* April 2012 - Break the £35k mark
* Feb 2012 - Break the £25k mark
* March 2013 - DFS load paid off
* June 2013 - Barclaycard Credit Card paid off
* November 2013 - Break the £15k mark
* March 2014 - Halifax Credit Card paid off
* March 2014 - ALL CREDIT CARDS PAID OFF !!!!
* March 2014 - Break the £10k mark
* March 2014 - HP loan paid off
* October 2014 - Halifax Home owner load paid off
* October 2014 - ALL LOANS PAID OFF !!!!