Divorce help

sueeve

You don't have to swear in court on a Bible, or for anything else legal, if you don't want to. You can just affirm the truth of what you say. The words are set I believe, but do not have religious content. You simply say 'I would like to affirm' and that's that. Think about all the people of other faiths who may be in court.

mackemdave

If your soon to be ex isnt going to dispute the reasons then a few brief things would be sufficient for the grounds....The courts dont look at who is to blame for divorce...Ive seen it mention that unreasonable behaviour can be things like leave the top off the tooth paste etc etc............

Go to the courts get the papers and see how you feel about filling them in...if you are unhappy then go through the on line sites but they will still expect you to complete the forms....Getting solicitors involve will introduce conflict....Thats how they earn their money....If its all ammicable then avoid them like the plague............I did my divorce on my own....took about 4 mths in total no solicitors apart from the drafting the consent order

chopandchange

mackemdave wrote: »

If your soon to be ex isnt going to dispute the reasons then a few brief things would be sufficient for the grounds....The courts dont look at who is to blame for divorce...Ive seen it mention that unreasonable behaviour can be things like leave the top off the tooth paste etc etc............

Go to the courts get the papers and see how you feel about filling them in...if you are unhappy then go through the on line sites but they will still expect you to complete the forms....Getting solicitors involve will introduce conflict....Thats how they earn their money....If its all ammicable then avoid them like the plague............I did my divorce on my own....took about 4 mths in total no solicitors apart from the drafting the consent order

Thanks for this reply. When you say to avoid getting solicitors involved, do you mean via online websites, or by actually going along to a solicitor's office and hiring one? I'm really not very clear on any of this. Are solicitors involved if I do it online: yes or no?

Gloomendoom

No.

Just get the pack from Amazon.

I would have thought that you would need to cite adultery as the reason for divorce if you want to remain true to your Christian beliefs. Your husband will have to agree to this if you want everything to progress smoothly..

esmerelda98

moodydonkey wrote: »

Are you also aware that you get a free half hour ( again sorry I think) consultation with a solicitor which may help outline your options.

This fallacy is frequently bandied about on this board as fact, hence there are many people who seem to think it some sort of legal right. Think about it, we are talking about private businesses. Solicitors may provide an initial consultation free or cheap, in order to encourage people to take up their services. However the people doing this are looking for business, it is not some sort of pro bono initiative, though I do concede that (bearing the foregoing in mind) it can be useful for outlining your options.

Gloomendoom

esmerelda98 wrote: »

This fallacy is frequently bandied about on this board as fact, hence there are many people who seem to think it some sort of legal right.

Yup, the 'free' half hour is just to get you in the door. As far as the advice goes, you get what you pay for.

chopandchange

Gloomendoom wrote: »

I would have thought that you would need to cite adultery as the reason for divorce if you want to remain true to your Christian beliefs. Your husband will have to agree to this if you want everything to progress smoothly..

Yes, I know. I've tortured myself over this, too, changing my mind so many times and being in a terrible state of guilt and confusion. I've stayed in this awful, nightmare situation putting up with it because nothing but death or adultary can end my marriage, so I have to be obedient and stay. My OH insists physical adultary did not take place, despite evidence that suggests the contrary but does not prove it.

The Christian grounds on which I believe I can divorce him, however, are: "if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases."

When I married him, my husband was also a Christian. He has since become a backslider and has turned into my persecutor, sneering at me for the faith he once shared and bullying me because of it. He's an unbeliever, and he's left me, so that fulfils those criteria, and I am not under bondage to him any longer. At least that's the interpretation I hope can be applied to that verse, because otherwise I am stuck having to be faithful to this man who doesn't want me, and can never re-marry unless he dies.

I would not have married him if he were an unbeliever at the time of our marriage, but he is one now.

Also, he's denying me my "duty of marriage" i.e. withholding sex, and instead fornicating with a sex doll. Or at least, he was. I don't know if he still does. He's gone now, and has a new life. I don't know what on earth he gets up to now he's out there by himself!

Gloomendoom

Can you get him to divorce you?

chopandchange

No. I have done absolutely nothing whatsoever to deserve it. He has no grounds for divorce other than a slap on the face (when I finally lost it and snapped and just couldn't carry on being kind and loving in the face of all this abuse) which he claimed could be classed as assault.

Everyone I've mentioned that to has laughed and said the police would probably laugh at him as well if he tried to report it as assualt. It didn't even leave a bruise, was entirely out of character, and I was extremely provoked and at the end of my tether due to his abusive behaviour!

Still, it was wrong, though. It was un-Christian behaviour, but I am not a robot and I cannot be perfect. I am human. I know I shouldn't hit anyone, and I have to take responsibilty for my actions and can't blame them on him, but one slap on the face is not grounds for a divorce! (OK, I did spit at him as well in utter disgust because of some of the things he was saying to me, and told him he should be ashamed)!