Help!

Midgie

I'm 6 months pregnant and my partner has walked out - I'm worried about how I'm going to cope financially without him.

He's said that he wants nothing to do with me and the baby and that his mother has advised him to get solicitors involved - I'm presuming this means he's going to try to wiggle his way out of contributing anything towards the baby.

I get 13 weeks maternity leave and then I'll need to return to work full time. I have quite a good job and my own flat (big mortgage and home improvement loan to prove it) but I'm worried about how I'm going top cope with paying for childcare.

Can anyone tell me if I'd be entitled to any financial help?

I live in Scotland if that makes a difference.

Midgie

AnxiousMum

How lovely of him to 'want nothing to do with' the baby. It's sad for the baby that he or she has a parent with that outlook, but unfotunately for your ex, he may be able to withdraw his emotions, and any involvement in the relationship building, but the child has a legal right to be financially provided for by both parents, not just you. Once baby is born, get child support in place - he can get all the lawyers involved that he wants to - but if the child is his biologically, he will have to pay child support thoughout the child's younger years. Get the application in right away when baby is born, as it will likely take a while if he denies being the dad.

In terms of other support you might be entitled to, others will be along soon to let you know what benefits you would be entitled to.

missbunbury

You can make a CSA claim for maintenance off him as soon as you get a child benefit reference number; if he is PAYE employed it won't matter whether he is compliant or not, they will deduct 15% of his net income straight from his wages if they have to.

daska

Health in Pregnancy Grant, Child Benefit

Then, depending on how many hours you work/how much you earn, possibly Child/Working Tax Credits, SureStart Grant, HealthyStart vouchers

If you qualify for Working Tax Credits you can claim back some of your childcare costs. There is also, currently, a tax saving voucher scheme but I'm sorry I'm not sure of the details.

Midgie

I am worried that if I go to the CSA I'll give him a stronger case for access to the child - or more importantly give his mother a stronger case for access to the child.

divastrop

In my experience access to the child is separate and nothing to do with whether the biological father contributes financially.

missbunbury

Midgie wrote: »

I am worried that if I go to the CSA I'll give him a stronger case for access to the child - or more importantly give his mother a stronger case for access to the child.

Maintenance and access are completely unrelated. If he has overnight care, he's entitled to a reduction, but he has to pay whether he sees the child or not. Of course, he can always go to court for a contact order, which would be likely to be granted unless there are very strong reasons for it not to be.

xmaslolly76

From what you have said op why would he want contact ?

I'm afraid contact is something for which you will have put personal opinion of him to one side and think about what is best for your child not easy by any means but it has to be done :-(

Even if you deny access he still has to provide for his child so you really need to go through the CSA if he is going to act like a div.

Midgie

His mother is the type to feel that if I'm getting money from him then he should be given his 'rights' - in order to make a point rather than because its the best thing for the baby.

Its not really a case of him seeing the baby - its his mum! I saw her last week and she was very aggressive and ranted and raved at me on the street. She has been known to lie about me and has very disturbing values that I don't want the baby to be in a position where its being told bad things about its mummy or being made to feel inadequate (she's that sort of woman).

divastrop

from a financial point of view, the only time you would be required to give his details to the CSA is if you claimed income support. However, if his name is not on the birth certificate then you have the option of telling them you didn't quite catch his name(or words to that effect). It's not nice making yourself out to be an 'easy' woman but if you want NOTHING to do with him and feel your child would be better off without him then it's worth it in the long run.
Obviously I don't know both sides of the story and am empathising with you due to my personal experiences, but regardless of personal feelings the baby is the most important person here and ultimately you have to consider what is best for him/her in the long term, and in the present you need to look after the both of you and do whatever it takes to avoid getting stressed.

divastrop

moodydonkey wrote: »

I may be wrong (probably) but I don't think that involving the CSA is now directly related to Income Support.

I meant that you are only obliged to involve the CSA if you are claiming IS(its voluntary otherwise), although I may be wrong if they have changed it recently, and if I am I apologise. I was just trying to convey the message that if the OP wants nothing to do with the man, no money from him or owt then she is within her rights to deny all knowledge of his paternity if she so chooses.