Need some advice (postgrad study)

pug_in_a_bed

[STRIKE]right i'm going to email them and tell them i'm doing it[/STRIKE]

arghhh!!!

pug_in_a_bed

Right i've just typed two emails one saying yes and one saying no. I couldn't think of anything to write in the 'no' email, but I thought if i had a freudian slip and sent one by mistake instead of saving draft then that would decide for me:rotfl:unfortunately I am too in control of my subconcious to do so:rolleyes:

It felt weird writing the 'no' email though. This morning I have ranged through feelings such as I enjoyed my MA, and how much I enjoyed it when the writing just suddenly comes really easily. But I have also had kittens when thinking about the conference I'm supposed to speak at in December, and the teaching I will have to do and the fact that I havent read a book in months and that I've actually forgotten what my proposal was...:rotfl:

Rosie75

I hope this won't sound too harsh, here goes.

If you are in any doubt whatsoever about doing the PhD, then I would suggest that it is not for you. It is a test of determination and motivation as much as academic talent. If your self-confidence is faltering now, then you will struggle for the next few years as I can promise you it will be knocked time and again. There is the isolation of research and writing to deal with (you will be lucky if you see your supervisor once every month or two in an arts subject) combined with the fact that when you encounter others, it is often in very stressful situations, eg. conferences (at which academics are rarely nice to each other) and teaching (you will be thrown in at the deep end with little or no training and the dynamics of the group you teach can vary markedly from a lovely and motivated bunch of students to hostile and lazy). Of course, there are moments when it can all be very rewarding, but these come less often than the bad moments. If you do it, do it because you absolutely, categorically want to, not because other people expect you do. They won't have to live with the many lows that will come your way during the process. I hope I don't sound too negative - I found the process very draining emotionally, but I know I wasn't the only one of my peers that felt like this.

pug_in_a_bed

Thanks Rosie, it's not harsh at all. Everything I read and everyone to talk to, even current Phd's, keeps saynig how awful it is, and how demoralising. Everyone seems to think it would really suit me, and in some ways I think it might; I enjoy working on my own, I've always been able to motivate myself in that way.

pug_in_a_bed

Right i've done it, sent my acceptance email off that is.

My dad has jus tcome in and roared at me about missed opportunities and cowardice, and I think he hit the nail on the head, my fears about not being able to do it and that. We've agreed that if I really hate it, then I can quit after christmas or a year. That's unlikely but you never know.

Back to the grindestone I go....

Thanks so much for everyone's help, hope you will all be back to scrape me off the floor in a few years time when I am crying over my thesis:rotfl:

hostie

Great!!
I think you have done the right thing.
I'm glad you sent your acceptance. I agree with Rosie that you shouldn't do it for anyone else. It would be sheer madness to do it because your parents think it is a good idea. My dad wants me to join the foreign office and I keep telling him that that is NEVER going to happen. We have to lead our own lives. I think you have done the right thing though. The fact that you have been deliberating so much suggests to me that you really want to do it. After loads and loads of deliberation following my first funding rejection I decided that I was going to give it a go anyway and I suggest you do the same. You will probably get AHRC funding next year. The workshops offered by various places on how to get funding are really useful. My university even did a talk on what they thought the AHRC were looking for, which helps too.

Good luck with the teaching too. Might that reduce the fees you pay? It will make you much more employable.

night night, I am a bit tipsy tonight. Must go to bed as have to get up early to go to a spa for a hen night (day).


On a practical note though, I suggest you go and see the department that has access to the programme which helps you identify possible funding sources. Your welfare department maybe? That way you can try to get extra bits of funding now. The more money you can get to help, even if it is just the odd bit here and there, the better placed you will be to do your research.

missejackson

Sorry to hear that you are feeling negative! Big hugs!

I've been through the 1st degree and Masters degree route and really enjoyed the research bit of both. After faffing about doing a PGCE I ended up in a research post in Local Government. Sadly that got deeply frustrating cos I was unable to research properly - visits to libraries etc were a no-no. Also no-one understood what research really was. So I bit the bullet, applied for a Research Assistant post (which registers me for a PhD) and got the job and will start in September.

On the plus I will be getting a better salary than local government and better holidays, plus getting to do proper research. Negatives - lots of hard work (from what I can see) and work to take home!!! (Got to be better than being a Primary School teacher which I trained for 2 years ago!!!)

I'm really excited, nervous and various other feelings. My family are being really supportive (although no financially) and my partner (after initial hesitation) is ok with it because I will be paid a proper salary.

I am also in the same boat as you re friends moving away. Where I was working in local government was full of older people and whilst that's ok for chatting about family, your weekend, etc it meant a total lack of a social life. I am hoping that at 30 I won't be too old to fit in and that someone might want to go out once in a while!

I'm not sure what direction my career is going....but I am about to take a different turn and am currently feeling upbeat. Then again that could change fairly quick (especially if all the comments in the PhD thread are true!!!!).....

Take care and hope things work out for you. I am a great believer in fate and what happens will be for the best. you might not realise it initially but you will later on - promise!

pug_in_a_bed

I am really nervous about starting too. I think it might be a bit of a nightmare in the beginning as I'm going to pretty short of money. The teaching work I'll have is part of an assistantship scholarship a few tutorials a week and I imagine some marking, for that they are giving me £2000. Then I've applied for another scholarship which I was sucessful at getting in every year of my degree and MA so I'm hopeful that will come through again. These awards will pay my fees, if the second one doesn't cmoe through my dad has kindly offered to lend me the missing £1000 until next year.

I'm a bit worried about money as I had a bar job right through uni which was really useful and flexible asit was on the campus, that's closed now, so I'm hoping something else will arise or else I really am doomed as I've saved so little this year.

I'm really nervous as well asI need to start showing my face at conferences and that. There is one coming up in Dec my tutor thinks I should submit something for, I was a bit embarrassed to asy to her I didn't have a clue what they did at these things or how to submit something. Anyway, will have a look at that next week.

I'm tentatively hoping to make some new friends at university aswell. A lot has changed in the las tyear in my life and I hope that will be reflected in my ability to make friends.

Starry-eyed_surprise

Hi pug_in_a_bed
Just wanted to wish you well. I agree that if you want to do a PhD it has to be for you. I'm a late starter to all this. I have three teenage children and I work part-time (was full-time). I've just got my masters (like you in English) as a p/t mature student and I'm looking into funding a PhD but being realistic I know it will have to be the same long slog part-time studying evenings/holidays/weekends/midnight-oil type route that has taken me through all my other university studies to date. Fortunately I've got a great supervisor who has agreed to take me on. I have got some teaching in my department to help (in addition to my other 'real' job) but I think I will have to largely self-fund initially (that means debt unfortunately). I feel that debt for education is a debt I can justify - its an investment - at any age. The thing is, we only get one shot at life, so if you don't go for it, you'll never know. I know I have gained immensely in so many ways since I started my studies and I am really glad I have done what I did. It has changed my life. There is an urban myth story of a man of 75 who signed up at university to become a doctor. His fellow students asked him why he was bothering doing this since he would be nearly 80 when he qualified. He replied, "In five years time I will be 80 anyway, God willing." I guess that's my view too ( although I'm not that old!!!:D (yet!!) I wish you all the very best. Follow your dreams.

missejackson

Well it's good to see that there are others in the same boat. I think it'll be tough but at the moment I am up for the challege.

I have also been told that I will have to look for opportunities to speak at conferences and get published. I have to admit it petrifies me. I had to do talks as part of my degree and MCD and they were unpleasant. I get nervous and talk really fast and don't explain myself well. I'm much better and much more confident on paper.

I am also scared that everyone is going to be much cleverer than me. Sounds illogcal because I wouldn't have been accepted if I wasn't academically bright enough. I have heard that you have to be prepared for academic knock backs and people snubbing your ideas. Fun eh? NOT!!!

I have another week left in work before I start. As yet I don't have a topic (apart from action research in the community), title or any idea where I will be based (apart from somewhere in the community). I don't know who my supervisor is and whether I will actually be starting the PhD immediately (my letter says I will be registered for a PhD - is this the same as STARTING a PhD?).

Oh well - what will be will be!