Driving lesson advice - aggressive instructor

sleepytiger

hi. Wondering if anyone can give me any advice. Seems I've been learning to drive for ages. Started learning about 5 years ago, had 2 lessons and then lost my temping job and had to quit. Started again a year later and had an instructor who made me drive at 60 on my first lesson then told me he wasn't interested in teaching me as I would take more than 10 lessons to pass.

I started learning again last year and have had about 40 lessons or so, which makes me feel like a total failure. Everytime I get close to my test date the instructor makes me rebook it (3 times now) saying I'm not ready. And I'm not. I'm a nervous wreck because everytime I do something wrong he screams at me (I'm not talking about doing anything dangerous here where I'd expect it but minor things - eg. a few weeks ago I took a speedbump slightly less smoothly than he'd have liked. It wasn't too fast or anything, I was about a centimetre to the left of where I should have been and hit a pothole coming off it) and he screamed and ranted at me for about 5 minutes. Trouble is, I've invested a huge amount of money in the lessons. I really just want to give up but don't want to write the money I've spent off. I'm not sure if I should change instructors but he's made me cry more than once and I don't want to get back in the car with him. Should I change instructors or just put on my big girl pants and deal with it, in the hope that I'll acutally be allowed to sit the test soon.

Edit: meant to say, I'm not getting any private practice as my partner refuses to take me out, and I recently moved so am commuting to the old place for the lessons.

elsien

Change instructors and complain to the driving school he works for if he's not set up on his own.
You don't pay to get shouted at, and with a calmer instructor you might gain a lot of confidence. Don't give up now when you've got so close.
Have you considered looking for a woman instructor? I'm not saying a woman's going to be better than a bloke, obviously it depends on the individual, but I just felt more comfortable.
Do you know anyone else taking lessons who could give a personal recommendation - you do seem to have been a bit unlucky up till now.

I passed my test just through lessons and no other practice. (Mainly because if I'd followed my mum's instructions I'd have failed big time!)

bb69

Hello

Sorry to hear he is making you feel like that.

I had a similar issue, with an instructor I did not like his tone. I had paid for a block booking and once I had reached my last session, he asked me when I wanted to rebook. I basically said No and my reasons for this. He looked surprised, I really didnt care. I also told the driving school I wanted to change and why.

Was a well known driving school. I found another teacher who happened to be a woman (I wouldnt have minded who though as long as it wasnt him) Got on great and learnt lots, she pushed, and gave feedback in a really positive way.

So yes if you are getting upset then change. You need to have confidence in whoever is teaching you and also comfortable and relaxed behind the wheel.

Good luck for the future

Blackpool_Saver

Sounds like your partner is less than supportive too, why is he not taking you out, and why are you commuting to the driving school? I am thinking if your partner was more supportive you might be less likely to put up with this disgusting instructor........

Alison_B

I would definately look for a new instructor. They have no right to undermine you in that way and take away your confidence. It might also be worth sitting your test, just to see what happens.

Don't feel like a failure for having 40 driving lessons, everyone is different.

sleepytiger

Thanks. I was hoping I wasn't just over-reacting. I've been upset for the past couple of days because of the last lesson. My partner isn't taking me out because he doesn't want to fall out with me. To be honest, he's not the most experienced of drivers anyway so it's probably for the best.

I was commuting because I moved out of the city to a commuter town a couple of weeks before my test. The plan was to sit the test and then if I failed take lessons in my new town, but now my test has been rebooked for september although he says we'll go for a cancellation if I'm ready. He said that last time too and didn't and then I had to remind him about my test

Pew_Pew_Pew_Lasers!

You're the one paying him, if you don't like his service then tell him to Foxtrot Oscar, and get another instructor.

Mankysteve

My driveing instructor wasn't aggressive but was quite assertive and did fanny around when i made stupid mistakes which suited me quite well as that the type of person i learn best off, but really upset my ex when she tried him(before I knew him or her) It must have took me over 30 hours of lessons to pass so don't worry too much about the number of lessons you've had. It took me a bit longer to pass because of habtat it being to drive to test standard then suddenly for no reason making silly mistakes.

I think you should have found a new instructor by now really it doesnt sound like you and instructor are compatible. Some people learn better with different types of people I would just put it down to that and move on.

jd82

Change instructors. Its the only way. I had a few bad ones and it took me years because I just kept giving up. I found a good one and I passed within a few months of restarting lessons.

cheesecake0117

Change instructor. I had to change driving insructor beacuse I didn't get on with the old one. It ended up in a loop where he used to shout when I made mistakes which made me more nervous causing me to make more mistakes. I ended up gettting out the car and told him to f*** o** after breaking down in tears.

The first lesson I had with the new instructor he was suprised that I had not booked my test. It took me maybe a year and getting on 50 lessons but I passed on my first go.

jd82

My last instructor never shouted if I did anything major he would just calmly ask me to stop and he explained what I did wrong. My previous ones would go into a fitting rage.