£7k in 7 months...I hope!

jtr2803

Woowoo wrote: »

I can see me going home tonight and picking a fight with my OH about not wanting to get married....

Oh no hun, we don't want that!!! Think about that skiing apartment

unsavy_with_£

Hi ya, I have just read your first post, oh my god reading about you is like reading about me. I am going to read through to follow your path. Its great that you have done this diary! Really inspirational!

Woowoo

I might go and track down some chocolate to cheer me up!

RumPunch_2

I'm not saying you should.....

but if it is that important to you it's not going to go away. Well it didn't for me. My logic was that he had a choice, he didn't have to get married, but I knew that I didn't want to stay living with him unmarried so he had to choose. I didn't force him, I just explained that it was very important to me and if it wasn't what he wanted then we wanted different things. Fortunately for me, he proposed. Too be honest, lots of men are actually very scared of the committment, some men need a nudge, some are definitely dead against it. But I worried about those stories of women who had waited years, finally split up and then the men were married to the new partners in a blink of the eye.

Jody was right before in her earlier post too. Men get the convenience of marriage these days without the committment. It's scary how old fashioned I am!

The thing is, there is a chance that you get resentful because wanting to be married eats away at you and then that starts to damage the relationship anyway. But you have to think very long and carefully before you do something drastic because there is always the danger that it might not be the outcome you want. What do your family and friends think?

Sorry for writing an essay!

RumPunch_2

jtr2803 wrote: »

That's what I am thinking - it's out of season technically so would help cost wise, your wedding day sounds lovely.

Photos on FB and I can bring my album in April if you like! Go for winter, you won't regret it!

Woowoo

RumPunch wrote: »

I'm not saying you should.....

but if it is that important to you it's not going to go away. Well it didn't for me. My logic was that he had a choice, he didn't have to get married, but I knew that I didn't want to stay living with him unmarried so he had to choose. I didn't force him, I just explained that it was very important to me and if it wasn't what he wanted then we wanted different things. Fortunately for me, he proposed. Too be honest, lots of men are actually very scared of the committment, some men need a nudge, some are definitely dead against it. But I worried about those stories of women who had waited years, finally split up and then the men were married to the new partners in a blink of the eye.

Jody was right before in her earlier post too. Men get the convenience of marriage these days without the committment. It's scary how old fashioned I am!

The thing is, there is a chance that you get resentful because wanting to be married eats away at you and then that starts to damage the relationship anyway. But you have to think very long and carefully before you do something drastic because there is always the danger that it might not be the outcome you want. What do your family and friends think?

Sorry for writing an essay!

Sorry for once again hijacking your thread Jody!

The trouble with my OH is, when he was 21 he got engaged to a fruit loop and had a daughter with her (she's about 15/16 now).

He doesn't have anything to do with the daughter and he signed over parental rights to the mothers new partner. Whenever the mother has managed to get hold of his number again she rings continuously as she is now a drug addict so wants money.

When he left the relationship, he literally walked out the door and gave her their house and all the contents.

Basically I think this messed him up big time and I get to suffer for his mistakes.

I am already resentful, just in case you couldn't tell lol!

LittleMoog

jtr2803 wrote: »

It's quite bright here! Glad you are ok though, I was getting worried!

Nooooo....Not setting a date....yet! A while back OH mentioned Dec 2012 and when we were at the wedding reception on Sunday he said about December again, at the time I was like no way but as he pointed out, I love Xmas and December. So I was trying to weigh up some pro's and cons of that time of year. The weather aspect doesn't bother me really as I've known people to book July weddings and it was pouring down the whole day , they also paid peak season rates for the privilege. Think my only concern is people not coming because it's near Xmas but then if they make up an excuse to not come they aren't worth the invite anyway.

Think OH doesn't really mind either way and I know it shouldn't be the main focus BUT....Dec & Jan are best time to go to the Maldives! :rotfl:. It certainly wont be next year as it's not enough time to save but I just happened to notice that the 1st of Dec 2012 is a saturday . Otherwise I would like to get hitched on a significant date rather than just randomly pick one if that makes sense?!

Hi Jody,
My sister got married on 7th December last year. It was a really lovely cold crisp winter day. She had a beautiful dress with matching bolero jacket. Winter wedding dresses are amazing. They also had a curry buffet for the wedding breakfast, little bit unusual, but it was a great laid back atmosphere. For their honeymoon they went to the states and canada over christmas and new year.

Woowoo

Jules that sounds amazing, what a fantastic honeymoon as well.

RumPunch_2

Woowoo wrote: »

Sorry for once again hijacking your thread Jody!

Yes, sorry Jody but it's kind of pertinent to you, although you are already on a mission!

Woowoo wrote: »

I am already resentful, just in case you couldn't tell lol!

Well it did sound like you might be a bit. I don't think it will go away, it will get bigger and bigger because it is so important to you.

You might have to take this one on at some point.

I do understand his reticence but it is unfair that you suffer because his previous partner shafted him. Though she tries to contact him, she is in the past now and you are his future. He shouldn't avoid a committment to you because somebody else has let him down. He has to trust you and that might mean taking a risk and showing you that he thinks you are worth it, if you see what I mean. Otherwise what he is indirectly saying is that he doesn't trust you.

jtr2803

unsavy_with_£ wrote: »

Hi ya, I have just read your first post, oh my god reading about you is like reading about me. I am going to read through to follow your path. Its great that you have done this diary! Really inspirational!

Welcome along! Can you tell me are all a bit mad and talkative in here?! Hope you stick around, feel free to jump in, we don't bite!