Aspergers Son - what now?

boltonangel

Hi all,


I posted on here back in October last year because I was struggling to know what to do with my sons behaviour. To cut a very long story short a lot of people on here suggested I get him assessed for Autism with a view to Aspergers.

I visited a new GP as the 1st one dismissed my concerns and managed to get a referrel to the local CAHMS team. We have had 3 meetings with them in which it appears that my son pretty much ticks every box for aspergers.
He is on a waiting list for an official diagnosis :whistle: so until then the dh and myself have decided that we will treat him as though is does suffer from aspergers because we have no choice really.


School is becoming a complete nightmare though. They are aware of my sons possible condition and we have asked them to ensure that he has as much structure/routine in his school day as possible.
Because of previous incidents at the school my DS has a CAF placed on him (if that's the correct term) by school and the local council had a meeting with us and them last week.

Our son doesn't have any structure to his day at school, because the class is so large if he causes a 'scene' he is removed (understandably) but is also labelled as the naughty child. A few months ago he was moved back into reception class for a few hours a day (he is in year2 normally) to improve his literacy and give him a sense of responsibility that he was 'helping' the younger children. the reception teacher was also his SENCO so it appeared to work quite well as he has always responded well to younger children. Until the parents of these children found out and kicked u a stink so school caved in and bowed down to them - I know this is going to seem contraversial to some but I am very annoyed that the school have let these ignorant parents dictate what happens with my son when he was always very well behaved around those children.

Anyway, I'm rambling! The school have no experienceof dealing with autistic children and the local council seemed very shocked at the way they have been treating my son and even expressed concern that our son was made out to be the 'naughty, troublesome child' when the things that he does are mostly out of his control.

I just don't know what to do, if i take him out of that school the others will probably refuse to take him because he's been suspended for 'potential violence' in the past and he's not in my opinion suitable for a special school.
Each day we collect him from school we get another story about what trouble he's caused that day and I end up in tears most nights because I simply can't continue like this, it's wearing me down and my husband and I are constantly rowing recently.

I know there's nothing any of you can do but i just wanted to get it off my chest - i have no family or friends nearby so it is all down to me and dh and we don't know what to do for the best.

moggins

I do sympathise! I have an aspie son and his whole school life has been a nightmare through lack of attention from Senco, we spent every year at Junior school having to tell his new teachers that he has Aspergers as they were never informed internally.

That being said, he is now 16 and taking his GCSE's. He's just completed a two year BTEC in Science in 4 days and is going on to college in September.

One thing I will say is don't molly coddle him, when my son was diagnosed the one thing that the psychologist said that really stuck in my head was that some behaviours will never come naturally to him but he can still learn them. I also was well aware of the fact that the world was not going to revolve around him, that he would have to learn to fit in with the world. With a lot of guidance, pain and tears (on my part) he's now a wonderful teenager with a huge group of friends, he's had the same girlfriend for two years and most people are not even aware he has AS unless we tell them.

Lizzieb151

I am sorry to hear of your troubles, I don't have much advice but didn't want to run (so to speak).

Have you had a look for some support groups? They would probably be able to give you some advice regarding school and/or moving him to somewhere more suitable. HTH

smartpicture

My niece has Aspergers, and after a lot of trouble at school and suspensions and not feeling listened to, she ended up being home-schooled. She is now taking A-levels and expecting to get straight As.

Unfortunately schools are always going to be restricted by the fact that there are 30 children in each class to consider, and with the best will in the world it's not always possible to tailor things around the needs of individual children to the extent that you would wish. Having said that, teachers are generally willing to help as much as they can once they have been educated in the issues involved rather than just seeing a naughty child. A large part of your role will be pushing to ensure they receive that education, whether from the LEA or unfortunately, from yourselves. The best thing you can do is do as much reading around the subject as you can yourself for now, and push for the formal diagnosis.

shell_girl

Hi OP,

You’ve probably spent a lot of time on the National Autistic Society website already, but in case you haven’t I would recommend it as being a really good source of information and support. Their section on education and autism is especially good.

Is the SENCO involved because of your concerns or because your son is statemented? If he isn’t then this would be one of the first things I’d chase up. Unfortunately the majority of parents I speak to say that their child will only get the services and support that they fight for. Start fighting now so that your son has the best IEP and transition plan he can.

The most important thing to remember is when it comes to your son YOU are the expert. If you don’t agree with what the ‘experts’ are telling you then be vocal about it. I work in an advisory role for a learning disability charity (so I’m afraid autism and asperger syndrome aren’t my specialist subject) and the parents of the kids we work with are the real experts about what’s available locally, what’s worth doing and sources of support.

Best of luck

Gingham_Ribbon

I posted a link to Parent Partnership on another thread today and thought it might be worth letting you know about them. Although they can't make schools do what is recommended, they can help negotiate with them and explain his needs. Might be worth giving them a ring?

Savvy_Sue

Also IPSEA.

boltonangel

thanks everyone

alm721

Just wanted to say if you've not been on the special needs forum on mumsnet its a really good place for asking about Aspergers and schooling etc. I've learn't loads from there. Good luck x

asperger

There alot of information and help at a website called www.asperger-syndrome.me.uk, that offers plain simple information and help and might have some ideas that you might not of used or thought off.
I know thing can get hard and the more you know the better really,