Help with a 6yo and sleep

Britwife

Definately change the tv pattern. I have a 4 year old and he is only allwoed to watch a movie in bed on Friday and Saturday nights.

We have a great routine with our son and it should work for you too since your son is in school too. We have story time where we used to read to him but now he reads his school books and we practice his phonemes and tricky words. My ds loves this and he even makes a little area on the floor for us to sit with his blankets. So not only is this a great wind-down time, they are studying at the same time. I wanted to answer your reading question: Reading to your children is the best thing you can do. Not only are you showing them how important reading is, you are spending quality time with them. And as I put above, just let him put a blanket on the floor, no need to try and climb up and snuggle. Most stories don't put the kids to sleep anyway. At the end of the story, make sure to ask some questions so you're not just reading and running. And discuss the pictures to help them understand what they are reading.

Once you put him to bed just go downstairs and let him cry it out. He will get through it and it will take some time. I do have to admit, my ds doesn't fall asleep right away and plays with a little car or toy in bed for about 20 mins so maybe allow him to pick a little toy to sleep with to help him get through. Another idea is to get a cool nightlight like a lava lamp or something soft and funky. Kids love stuff like that.

You guys will work it out!

emsywoo123

I have a six year old DD.
We eat at about 6, the watch Great British Menu from 6.30 til 7 and every day we say tomorrow we'll make something we've seen :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: clearly we never do!
Up then for bathroom bits, in bed at 7.15.
If she is not completely tired, she'll read a bit of one of her books, then go to sleep when she is ready. I see no point trying to force her to sleep if she is not quite there, just leads to frustration all round.
So tuck her in, say night nights at 7.15, then she goes to sleep about 7.30/7.45 depending on how ready she is to sleep.

emsywoo123

Forgot to mention, she does not have a TV in her room, but of course EVERYONE else has (apparently :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: ) so this Xmas I got her a cheapy portable DVD player from Argos, which she doesn't use during the week, but then she knows she can use it if she wakes early at weekends, or wants a bit of time away from me weekend afternoons :rotfl::rotfl:

Gingham_Ribbon

It sounds like he just finds it difficult to go to sleep. You say he's bright. Can he talk to you about how he feels/what he thinks about at night?

At 6, unless there are special needs involved, I'd just leave him to it and go downstairs after the 'bedtime routine'. If he's singing, reading, playing...fine, as long as he's doing it in bed. :j

I have to agree about the tv. But I wouldn't just give it a few days. I'd make it a permanent decision as he'll probably take a while to get used to it. Watching tv too close to bedtime can keep them awake.

Eager_Elephant

My DD is 7 and we have a very set bedtime routine now which is the same at weekends. If we deviate we really know in the morning - there are tantrums etc.

DD tends to eat with the childminder unless I have the day off. DH and I get home from work about 5.30 - 6pm. We cook tea and eat about 6.30-7ish (sometimes earlier). DD usually plays if she has already eaten or she might have a small amount of tea again otherise she comes downstairs to say she is hungry.

By 7.15 we are talking about her having a bath and the bath is run, by 7.40 she is usually out and in bed. Then either DH or I read to her or she reads her school book to us. By 8 (or at a push 8.10pm at the latest) she is settled to go to sleep.
My DD has a fan on constantly throughout the night (she is a very sweaty child). In winter the fan is set on 1 and in summer it's on 3! Before we did this she couldn't sleep as she as too hot.

If she really cannot sleep then she is allowed to read a book but nothing else. Usually within 10 minutes she is asleep.

She has a TV/DVD player in her room but we no longer have the aerial connected so she can't watch TV, not that she ever did at night anyway.

As I said above weekends are exactly the same, we tried to let her stay up a bit later as a treat etc but it hasn't worked and she is tired and grouchy and I don't want my weekend ruined by her so bedtime is still 8pm.

She usually wakes about 7ish so I guess she is getting a bit more than the recommended amount of sleep.

EE

minerva_windsong

I had a habit of reading in bed when I was supposed to be asleep as a child. My mum likes to tell the story of how one time she came in and told me to put the book away because it was time to go to sleep, and I said something like, "That's OK, I'll just read it after you've gone!"

I did always go to sleep eventually, so the same may well apply to your son. Even if he isn't actually physically asleep but is singing to himself or lying in bed his body is still 'resting', as it were, so he isn't totally losing the sleep benefits. You may find that if you just leave him be he'll fall asleep on his own rather than if you wait for him to fall asleep.

I agree about getting rid of the TV. They say even adults' sleep can be affected by watching TV or using computers in bed or close to bedtime so I expect it may affect a child much more profoundly. In fact I'd extend that to not keeping any electrical items in his room other than lights.

Also agree re: reading to/with him, but personally I'd say not in your bed/on his bed as that might create more problems with his sleep pattern. Maybe on the sofa before he goes up to bed might be a good compromise.

*clearly watches too many parenting programmes*

However, every child and every parent is different, so what works for someone else may not work for you. It's just finding what works and sticking with it.

liney

My son is nearly 6 goes to bed at about 7.15pm with a story. He often doesn't fall to sleep until 8pm, as I hear him talking to himself, but he understands that's fine as long as he stays in bed. If he doesn't stay in bed he has no breakfast time TV whilst eating breakfast... he stays in bed.

GobbledyGook

If you find his bed too high then you could do your stories downstairs. My girls get washed and into their PJ's, do their teeth etc. Then the snuggle on the sofa next to me with their blankets and we read 2 stories. After that they go into their beds with lights off. They don't do anything in their bedroom except sleep - no tv, no reading, nothing. I also wind them down with calmer activities like reading, telling stories, playing cards etc for about 30 minutes before we start the bedtime routine.