new to all this!

alwaysonthego_2

This board is about giving ops benefit advice on their entitlements, not about judgement or benefit policy, if posters carry on taking off-topic I will have no choice but to close this thread.




GOING OFF-TOPIC


Hi, Martin’s asked me to post this in these circumstances: While it’s easy to wander off-topic that often prevents newbies finding the information they want quickly and easily (please see this rule). Please keep this thread on topic. If you’d like to discuss non-MoneySaving related topics please continue your discussion in The MoneySavers Arms or Discussion Time. If you have any questions about this policy please email [EMAIL="%20abuse@moneysavingexpert.com"]abuse@moneysavingexpert.com[/EMAIL].

mrcow

alwaysonthego wrote: »

This board is about giving ops benefit advice on their entitlements, not about judgement or benefit policy, if posters carry on taking off-topic I will have no choice but to close this thread.

This thread is about the OP asking what their next best move is. And they are getting advice accordingly from a variety of posters.

People are trying to help. What you personally deem "on topic" is subjective.

Supermom

To the OP big hugs to you, what a horrible time you must be having with two little ones to look after aswell it can't be easy. I haven't any advice but just wanted to say I hope things work out for you I have four little ones and I am fortunate that hubby works to pay the bills so that I can stay at home. I can't imagine having to leave them in childcare all day if I had to go out to work. Get in touch with CAB and get what help you can get and ignore the un helpful comments on here. When I worked I paid tax at 40% as does hubby, I have no problem at all with my taxes helping people who need it and have found themselves in a situation not of their making.

Good luck to you and your little ones.

alwaysonthego_2

mrcow wrote: »

This thread is about the OP asking what their next best move is. And they are getting advice accordingly from a variety of posters.

People are trying to help. What you personally deem "on topic" is subjective.

There are comments on this thread which are against the rules on this board and as BG it is my role to highlight that posters are going off-topic. However, I appreciate that your posts are very constructive and supportive and I do not have a problem with them.

mitchaa

Caz3121 wrote: »

Is it a joint mortgage? your husband is equaly liable for payment. He should also be paying you 20% of his net salary as maintenance

20% + mortgage?

What is he supposed to live off of?

kingfisherblue

With regards to the OP's question about the difference between the mortgage payment and what the DWP will pay - I am a single parent following the break up of my marriage. I am on benefits as I am carer for my disabled son - he needs substantial care both day and night, so it isn't possible for me to have paid work at the moment. Part of my mortgage is paid by the DWP. They pay about £46 a week, leaving me with about £40 to pay each month. I also pay my endowments (£69 a month) and buildings and contents insurance, as well as all my other bills. I budget for these payments out of my benefits - that's what they are there for, to pay the bills.

I'm fortunate in that I don't have any debt, but benefits are not paid to cover debts. It's really a case of leaving according to your means, whether you have a job or claim benefits. My kids don't have a wii or playstations, the house is badly in need of decorating, but we're happy.

Budgeting isn't really that difficult once you get used to it. Try to pay for everything (except bills on direct debit) by cash - it makes you think twice about whether you really need something. Save a small amount each week so that Christmas doesn't mean debt. Visit the Old Style board for lots of ideas on how to cut down and save money, or post a Statement of Affairs on Debt Free Wannabe for help and advice on your outgoings.

If you do get a job, you might be entitled to childcare costs (upto 80%) or for working tax credits. Your three year old should be entitled to a free nursery place (about fifteen hours a week) - many nurseries that are attached to primary schools offer 'wrap around care', which is cheaper than using a private nursery. My son's primary school offers this, and if it is a nursery aged child who gets a free daily morning or afternoon session, the cost of adding lunchtime plus the other session is less than £10 a day. The local Surestart nursery charges £29 a day, and private nurseries are more than that. Childminders are also worth investigating. If you do need to use childcare, just make sure it is registered for two reasons - to safeguard your child and ensure all relevvant checks have ben done, and to be able to claim your tax credits (they will need the registration number to pay you).

You could still get some help with your council tax - don't forget to apply for your 25% single adults discount.

It's a dreadful shock when a marriage breaks up. I didn't think I would be able to cope, especially as I became sole carer for our son. That was over five years ago, and I've coped far better than I ever expected. Yes, it has been hard at times, but being a parent isn't always easy even if you have a supportive partner.

SuziQ

With regards to your mortgage is it in joint names? If it is in his name only they won't pay any help at all. If in joint names they may only pay your half, at the rate they are currently paying so you may still have a shortfall. I am in this position with my mortgage so I have to budget for the remainder of the mortgage. They also take a while to start paying once you apply,so get your application in as soon as you are eligible. They also won't pay anything towards and further advances on the mortgage- I increased mine to buy my ex out 7 years ago and they wouldn't pay any of that increase in the mortgage as it also included an amount towards work I did on the house that they deemed 'non essential'.

Keep in touch with your mortgage company as they are much more flexible if you are honest and are seen to be trying to keep on top of the debt-even when I was broke and I was waiting the 9 months it took for them to decide how much mortgage help I would get, I regularly scrimped and paid what I could towards the mortgage, because of that they really were patient with me.

You will be called into meet your single parent advisor once your Income support application is being processed-the first one I had was excellent and gave me lots of advice about getting back into work, they will also do 'better off' calculations for you if you do find a job.

Don't forget you have to go to all the different departmenst yourself- ie to the council for your council tax benefit (they will want to see your award letter for IS which will give you full CTB) you also have to tell CTC yourself that you are going onto a single claim etc.
I found CAB really good at advising me about prioritising my debt (my lovely ex left me in a mess) and they will also contact your debtors for you to try to negotiate reduced payments for you if you don't feel able. I contacted them all myself: spent a day where I told myself I would speak to all 5, geeded myself up before each phone call and wrote everything down in a file so I knew exactly what I had to pay when-they were actually very understanding with me.

I found it really helpful to start a file with everything in it because you tend to get asked what your are recieving by different depatments/agencies and it's good to be organised and have it all in one place. Doing all of this made me feel I was regaining some control over my life- a really great feeling.

Above all don't panic. Your children are relying on you to make the best of a bad situation.Get yourself onto the moneysaving boards here too-I found the grocery challenge fantastic as it almost halved what I spend each month and I have very little waste these days.
Hope it all comes together for you and you feel less overwhelmed.

kingfisherblue

Just to say that my mortgage was in joint names and there was no problem at all that my ex didn't pay anything. I'm with the Halifax.

mitchaa

kingfisherblue wrote: »

Just to say that my mortgage was in joint names and there was no problem at all that my ex didn't pay anything. I'm with the Halifax.

ISMI pays his share too?

tea690

none knows the reasons she split up with her husband...i am only able to work now due to a fantatsic new husband who looks after the kids while work..my ex would never have done this...

op i cant offer advice as the rules have changed since i was a single mum but entitled to is a good site to look at