choosing where to give birth

daska

bylromarha wrote: »

I wanted a home birth with my second but my midwife point blank told me I'd be stupid, having hemorraged (sp.) with the first.

PPH is less common in home births - fact! Now, it may be that the specific cause of yours did indicate an increased risk, but the most common cause is an intervention that would not take place at home.

Scone_2

I had a PPH with first baby and nearly died as a result. My now ex-husband seemed to think the reason I haemorraged is because they overdid the epidural so I couldnt feel a thing. not a single contraction and a student midwife told me to push when the monitor showed there was not a contraction. I was also inducted with prostaglandin gel which didn't work and then they put me on an oxytocin drip and kept turning the damn thing up. I was only 21 (I'm an "older" mother at 34 now) and I could have been dead.

My experience in the post delivery ward was terrible. I was alone and frightened a lot of the time. I wanted to breast feed and was advised NOT to because I'd lost so much blood and had to return to work within six weeks (long story). The midwives were too busy to help me and I had a particularly bad experience when the day after the birth (DD born 11.04 evening before, this was about 2pm next day) this bloody midwife came and told me off for not having bathed my baby and was really rude and abrupt with me when showing me how to do it. I'd only been able to stand for about an hour after the epidural and I was terribly upset.

Things like this are what make me want to be at home with my partner and three loving kids and my dog.

I really would love a home birth and I'm going to speak to my consultant about it when I have my next appt 26th May

skintchick

I had a home birth because I think that giving birth is not a medical condition or illness and that's the only reason I'd go to hospital. I was more relaxed there, and was not at the mercy of doctors wanting to intervene and creating a chain of interventions, where one intervention leads to another etc., and I could control how it all went and have the active birth I wanted, with a natural third stage.

It was great and I'd definitely do it at home next time. This was my first baby and she was breech till 37 weeks and suspected low birth weight but I was still determined to be at home and it was lovely

Choose what makes you feel most relaxed - you don;t have to decide until I think about 37 weeks and you are allowed to change your mind as well

rlc22

As pp have said, you need to go with whatever you're most comfortable with.

I was lucky as there is a midwife-led unit in my local hospital and I was able to have a water birth there. I think I'll be opting for a home birth next time though as I was 8cm dilated when I arrived at the hospital (only about half an hour after contractions were 5 mins apart) and the 2nd stage of labour was 15mins! I don't fancy giving birth in the car

weezl74

threemutleys I think it's important for you to explore why you don't like the idea of a home birth, as the birthing centre will not be able to offer you anything a homebirth wouldn't.

Can you say a bit more about your reservations?

GobbledyGook

bylromarha wrote: »

Do you not think though, that if medical professionals are advising against a home birth, it's better not to have it?

I wanted a home birth with my second but my midwife point blank told me I'd be stupid, having hemorraged (sp.) with the first.
.

In your case your care team were doing the right thing in advising you not to have a home birth.

For me I was told I shouldn't have one because I was fat and because home births are dangerous. That's the kind of narrow minded opinion women come up against all the time. Being overweight is NOT a reason to deny a home birth, having a genuine medical reason is. Also when you ask you often find that staffing is the reason most people recommend against a home birth, but that, again, is not a valid reason to deny or discourage one.

skintchick

GobbledyGook wrote: »

In your case your care team were doing the right thing in advising you not to have a home birth.

For me I was told I shouldn't have one because I was fat and because home births are dangerous. That's the kind of narrow minded opinion women come up against all the time. Being overweight is NOT a reason to deny a home birth, having a genuine medical reason is. Also when you ask you often find that staffing is the reason most people recommend against a home birth, but that, again, is not a valid reason to deny or discourage one.

My friend had a massive haemmorhage with her first before she went into hospital. She had her second in hospital as a result of fear from that, her third in a midwife-led unit, and the fourth at home. She wishes she'd had all but number one at home now.

Having had a haemorhage is not necessarily a reason not to have a home birth but you'd want to look into things carefully.

snugglepet20

Hi I had my baby last week and I was booked for a homebirth but changed my mind and went to the hospital instead so whatever you decide its not set in stone anyway! Had a nice water birth, had a bath, got dressed and came home.
My midwife was fine with it (she knows my hatred of hospital wards) but some will try to make you stay in and pressurize you. Remember as a sane adult you have the right to do exactly as you please and refuse any treatment you want. Hospital birth gives you reassurance if anything goes wrong but the wards are noisy and not restful at all IMO, I would much rather sleep in my own comfy quiet bed! One thing I would definetely consider though are your personal pain thresholds as an epidural is only available in hospitals.

skintchick

snugglepet20 wrote: »

Hi I had my baby last week and I was booked for a homebirth but changed my mind and went to the hospital instead so whatever you decide its not set in stone anyway! Had a nice water birth, had a bath, got dressed and came home.
My midwife was fine with it (she knows my hatred of hospital wards) but some will try to make you stay in and pressurize you. Remember as a sane adult you have the right to do exactly as you please and refuse any treatment you want. Hospital birth gives you reassurance if anything goes wrong but the wards are noisy and not restful at all IMO, I would much rather sleep in my own comfy quiet bed! One thing I would definetely consider though are your personal pain thresholds as an epidural is only available in hospitals.

Although it's amazing what you can do when you know there isn;t any other option! I thought I was going to die during my birth, ha ha, but of course I didn;t and I managed it and now I can;t remember the pain at all. It's transient but the memory of having a fabulous natural birth in my own home will last forever. We are stronger than we sometimes give ourselves credit for.

snugglepet20

skintchick wrote: »

Although it's amazing what you can do when you know there isn;t any other option! I thought I was going to die during my birth, ha ha, but of course I didn;t and I managed it and now I can;t remember the pain at all. It's transient but the memory of having a fabulous natural birth in my own home will last forever. We are stronger than we sometimes give ourselves credit for.

LOL I know what you mean! Did the whole thing without pain relief except for gas and air in the last hour. I actually said 'I am going to die' as I was pushing and the midwife said 'no you won't too much paperwork' :rotfl: