choosing where to give birth

brians_daughter

daska wrote: »

As I understand it the midwife can't refuse to attend a home birth. They can refuse to allow you to use a birthing centre but they can't refuse care.

lol, great minds and all that daska! :rotfl::rotfl:

emsywoo123

OP, I live in Kent and am due October as well, but have no options, have to go to Maidstone Hospital :eek:
Where are you, as that seems quite a way if you go to C/Bury or Ashford? Just thinking if you choose C/B but end up having to be transferred, it is quite a long way.................:o
PM If you prefer

dizziblonde

You get a choice in this?! Ok, so I'm still reeling from the shock of my test... but I was just getting my head around the fact that what was somewhat pleasurable getting IN there was going to have to come OUT at some point... now I find I have to make a choice in that part?!

I'm going to go away and panic a bit more now. (PS like you Scone I'm still pretty large - lost three stone to get pregnant - going to be interested to see how they view me as a semi-fossilized - ie over 30 - Mr Blobby body double!)

brians_daughter

dizzi - your head must be spinning - after the preg result, now the decisions really start for you!! yeahhh!!!! lol

delain

dizziblonde wrote: »

You get a choice in this?! Ok, so I'm still reeling from the shock of my test... but I was just getting my head around the fact that what was somewhat pleasurable getting IN there was going to have to come OUT at some point... now I find I have to make a choice in that part?!

I'm going to go away and panic a bit more now. (PS like you Scone I'm still pretty large - lost three stone to get pregnant - going to be interested to see how they view me as a semi-fossilized - ie over 30 - Mr Blobby body double!)

Don't let anyone imply that your size makes you less of a person, etc. When my first was born I was only 17 and when my twins were born I was 19, and I absolutely refused to be upset by judgemental people.

For the record, the hospital I had all three at were lovely to me when I had my twins because I was in transitional care with them for two weeks, couldn't do enough. Remembering the 'looks' I got when I had DD1 (story there below) I went to bath them as soon as I could stand up (epidural went wrong) and the nicest midwife I have ever met told me that it had been ages since she'd been able to bath a baby since mums are meant to do it all now and that it'd make her day if I'd let her Although I think they got a lot of fussing over from all the staff because they don't see identical twins that often!

and when I transferred to the birthing unit after I had DD1 at the hospital (she was induced and huuge) the staff were rude and barely spoke to me, I had no support with breastfeeding and I really had to fight to get any help at all and I really needed it, because I didn't have a clue and I think that contributed to my PND.

bylromarha

Hi

Congrats on the pregnancy. Women need to be as relaxed as possible when giving birth, first time there are so many unknowns. Where will make you the most comfortable?

For me to be most relaxed it was hospital. I needed to know that Drs were there should things go wrong.
For my friend to be most relaxed, it was at home. I had the priviledge of being her birth partner, and she was completely without stress at home.

Where will be the most relaxing place for you?

GobbledyGook

Being overweight isn't a reason to refuse a home birth. BTW they don't have to "allow" you - its your choice.

I was overweight when my second daughter was born (I was a size 18 and am only 5'2) and had a homebirth. I'm still, technically, overweight now and am having a home birth with the baby I'm cooking now.

You sometimes have to fight for it. I was told that our area "didn't do" home births, which actually meant they don't like them as they can't cut staff as much. I chose it as in my first birth the hospital was so short staffed we were left alone the majority of the time and it was so noisy I got no sleep for 4 days.

You cannot have an epidural at home or in a birthing centre so you have to bear that in mind. They can monitor the baby with a doppler (or sonicaid if you have a birth pool), but the can't monitor as much as in hospital. Also with a homebirth you can transfer into hospital if there are any problems, just like you would in a birthing centre.

If you do choose a home birth then make sure your birthing partner knows how important it is. When we telephoned for a midwife with my second child my ex husband was totally thrown when the person on the phone said they didn't do homebirths and I had to go to hospital. You need to train your BP to say, "X is in labour and we need you to send the midwife as per her birth plan. We look forward to seeing the midwife soon."

ladybez

It is a hard choice, not one I've ever had to make (long story 4 kids to show for it, but all high risk pregnancies) Why don't you have a look round both the Birth Centre and the hospital? That way you can ask lots of questions at each and then make you're mind up. Good luck with watever you decide

bylromarha

brians_daughter wrote: »

Scone, your mw or consultant cannot deny you a home birth on the basis of your weight. IF there are issues ie gestational diabeties (sp) etc it can make it more complex but every woman is entitled to a homebirth.

http://www.homebirth.org.uk/

Do you not think though, that if medical professionals are advising against a home birth, it's better not to have it?

I wanted a home birth with my second but my midwife point blank told me I'd be stupid, having hemorraged (sp.) with the first.

I could have fought for my right to have the baby at home I guess, but OH insisted that having to watch the crash team deal with my blood loss once was bad enough, to have to watch me travel in an ambulance before getting that life saving treatment was a risk he was unwilling to take.

OP - 40 minutes in a car when in labour is painful! Do-able, but painful. The slightest bump in the road really hurts!

I found having a baby in hospital was a great experience - I had the same midwife all though labour after I'd been assessed. The staff on post natal ward were really helpful - but they were stretched when I asked for help breastfeeding. Mind you, there would have been no-one at all to help me learn to breastfeed at 5am had I had my first baby at home.

dizziblonde

The thing with weight though (not speaking directly pregnancy related - probably have that still to come since I'm apparently only a few weeks in) is that if you come across a clued-in person in the medical profession who looks at you as a person - you're great; but there are a large chunk out there who just see you as an obesity-reduction target on legs (it's the main reason I won't move away from the catchment area of my current GP as he's one of the former).

I've had doctors sit there and run the full list of tests for obesity related illnesses - despite me being in good health - and getting more and more annoyed they can't find something to hang on me. Sometimes the NHS isn't clued up for someone being large but NOT having anything related to their weight wrong with them (weight increases the risk of things - it's not a one-way guarantee).