need some advise and support

klee1505

Hi everyone,

i really need some support really i feel like im about to havea break down,
ive just gone on the history of mine and my bf's laptop and seen that he has been on a webiste about swinging and has a profile saying "looking for no strings sex" to top it off its 2 days till my birthday,

we have been together for 3 years and he know stuff like this really bother me, i dont feel attractive any more i feel like he dont want to know me, i just feel so down and have done for a while and now this has just topped it off!!!
he works nights so hes at work tonight, i have text him saying why the f*k are you on a swinging website and i know what he will say. we will have a huge argument and it will be my fault for checking the history ( all arguments seem to be my fault)

i put a post on here about him texting some girl a few months ago stuff he shouldnt be. and to be fair once i told him i saw the texts he did say that i shouldnt have checked his phone blah blah and he hasnt texted her since but i thought things where getting better and now this

i dont know if he just got the page ages ago and he just having a quick look or if he actually acts on it,

theres a few things going on in my life and the min and i just feel so depressed and i dont know what to do or who to turn to

Sorry for the long post

BitterAndTwisted

To be fair (and I really don't want to be) an awful lot of men would LOVE to find no-strings sex but part of the problem is, they don't actually find it. The word is not always the same as the deed. Just because he claims to be looking does not mean that he'd go through with it in any case, maybe he just likes the idea of it and that's enough to feed his fantasies.

Seeing his comp-use history and his previous inappropriate texting together I'd say that he's not ideal relationship material for you and that you should very seriously consider ending this particular entanglement.

meritaten

klee - is it just the one site or are there other questionable sites in the computers history? if its just the one it could just be curiosity, but you say that you saw texts on his phone which were inappropriate?
I really dont think you should have texted him that question - wouldnt it have been better to have asked him face to face and watched his reaction? he is all prepared with his story now for when he gets home!
all in all he sounds like a right *anker! sorry, but he does and personally I would either be kicking him out or leaving at the speed of light depending on whose name is on the deeds or rent book!

GEEGEE8

I agree wih meritaten, I'd be leaving, sharpish..

I couldn't get over things like that really.. It would hurt too much.

What do you think he will say?

McKneff

You should have waited till he came home.
You have given him too much time to come up with excuses.

Bin him, he doesnt deserve you and you areworth more than this.
Time you realised that he has a problem, you dont.

Nothing you have said is your fault. You are a person in your own right
Look in the mirror, are you happy with what you see, if not, do something about it
but do it for you, but not for this !!!!!!. He should be ashaned of himself for
treating another human being like this. Especially one he is supposed to love.
Square you shoulders and tell him to jog on.

LJM

nothing good comes of sending a text like that i agree you should have waited till he was home, i would sit him down ask why he was on this site, and about your relationship in general decide whether its worth trying to make a go of it or if you need to break up. unless you are civil with each other you wont get any answers arguing doesnt solve anything and you always feel bad about it afterwards well i do

jcr16

i'd be fuming, but perhaps going through his history is a sign you don't trust him, so maybe it has just brought it to a head that you do need a deep and meaning ful.

Maybe there is a genuine reason, perhaps he not looking for sex no strings, but maybe looking for deas for spice things up between you, or maybe just curious. or perhaps he does wanna have his cake and eat it.

He doesn't sound like he is right for you, because someone who really loves his girlfriend woulnd't do something he knows would hurt her. however you do really need to have a chat about it.

i hope you get it sorted.

jackomdj

jcr16 wrote: »

i'd be fuming, but perhaps going through his history is a sign you don't trust him, .

But OP said it is a shared laptop. Could be they were looking for a site they had used rather than checking up.

I know I occasionally use my OH's laptop if he is still logged on & I have forgotten to pay DD's dinner money on a Sunday night & I usually use the history bar as I can't remember the web address.

jcr16

ah, sorry i mis read it.

i read it as i when through history of MINE and My Boyfriends thinking she meant there was 2 laptops.

McKneff

In short, you dont trust him now, and you never will.
Get rid and move on with your life.

LJM

McKneff wrote: »

In short, you dont trust him now, and you never will.
Get rid and move on with your life.

sorry sounds harsh but i have to agree you cant go on like this if your not happy