Have you been diagnosed with Autism, ADHD, etc as an adult?

Mics_chick

I just wondered coz my 5yo DS is going to see a specialist about some autistic traits he's displaying and I'm beginning to wonder if I'm a bit like too.
Partly because I was very like him as a child and also because there are things that I've struggled with as an adult that everyone else seem to deal with easily.

If you were diagnosed I was wondering if you could give a potted history of your experience and how you were diagnosed?

mookiandco

My younger brother was sent to a specialist when he was about 3 as they suspected he had ADHD. We were pretty certain that he was just hyperactive (and very intelligent!) but the nursery said that he couldnt keep still and they had to move him every 10 minutes during circle time to keep his interest. When he met the specialist, he walked right up to him, shook his hand and said 'pleased to meet you sir'. When asked whether he would like a drink, he asked for a cup of tea! Very quickly the specialist told us there was nothing wrong with him and as we suspected he was just a very bright little boy who got easily distracted.

Whilst we were there, however, he chatted to my parents. At the end of the meeting, he asked my dad if he'd been diagnosed with Aspergers! It explained alot. My dad is the loveliest, funniest man in the world but he has personality traits that are difficult to put up with. Its just things like him insisting on things being done a certain way and not being able to take into account any other way of doing things. He will visit someones house and look through their personal mail if it happens to be left out (or sometimes he look in the drawers). He says if they dont want him to read it they shouldnt leave it out (and should lock their drawers!).

He is always shouting but not in a horrible way, its just he is very very loud. He doesnt appreciate that other people are looking at him! His manners have alot to be desired sometimes, like he'll just help himself to people's fridge contents, talk with his mouthful etc. Everyone knows what he's like and loves him just the way he is especially as he has a great sense of humour but if you met him for the first time you would be forgiven for being surprised at how he can be!

Other than the specialist mentioning it, he's never had an official diagnosis and i'm not sure that he'd accept it if he did!

Not sure that thats much help to you really but I hope your little boy gets whatever support he might need xx

Allegra

Mics_chick wrote: »

I just wondered coz my 5yo DS is going to see a specialist about some autistic traits he's displaying and I'm beginning to wonder if I'm a bit like too.
Partly because I was very like him as a child and also because there are things that I've struggled with as an adult that everyone else seem to deal with easily.

If you were diagnosed I was wondering if you could give a potted history of your experience and how you were diagnosed?

My daughter - now 13 - was diagnosed last year, and during the year in the run up to the diagnosis, I read everything that I could lay my hands on - to get things clear in my own mind as well as to find anything at all to help us deal with the problems she was facing at the time.

The thing I found rather amusing is that while I was reading on the subject and ticking off numerous boxes for my daughter, I actually found that I as a child would have ticked off every box going. In other words, there is no doubt in my mind that I would have been diagnosed as an Aspie myself when I was a child.

Once we had accepted that DD was Aspie, though, we had to think very seriously about the benefits and disadvantages of diagnosis, especially as the process is so drawn-out and draining. Having a diagnosis for DD has proved to be of no particular benefit to us - it's the knowledge of the condition that helped change things for the better. The reason we were happy to get the diagnosis was simply because having it means, we feel, that should she need more help than we can give as parents, the diagnosis should help her get access to this help.

The next step then was thinking about possible benefits of getting diagnosed as an adult, and my conclusion is that this is only worth it if the adult is so debilitated by their condition that they are unable to cope independently. Self-awareness is the key, not the diagnosis. Therefore, self-diagnosing is sufficient for most adults (and most accurate, more often then not - diagnostics for ASDs are so subjective it's unreal).

For me, I am happy in my own skin, I cope with life now better than I ever have done in the past 30 years, and pursuing a diagnosis would, for me
be so unnecessary as to be really rather silly. Being aware that my daughter sees and hears and feels the world in the way very similar to m helps me deal with her and helps me help her. My childhood and teens were being bullied and eating disorders and suicidl depression and loneliness and worrying if was losing my mind. Because I am aware of the pitfalls, hers needn't be that way.

I know I have not answered your question there - but if you have time and inclination, this forum is well worth checking out - both for help and advice regarding your son, and as a place where you can meet numerous peopl who were diagnosed as adults. Oh, and I can recommend a book - it's by Liane Holliday Willey and it's called "Pretending to be normal". She self-dagnosed as an adult after one of her daughters was diagnosed, and her diagnosis was later on confirmed by Tony Attwood.

skypie123_2

I have been diagnosed as Dyspraxic as an adult.
My son has it too.
Now looking back at what my son goes through, when I think of my childhood it all kind of clicks into place

jellyhead

I'm not diagnosed, but I read this thread to find out what everyone else said

My 13 year old has hovered around a diagnosis since he was 2, and I've recently started asking about a diagnosis of dyspraxia again, because as he has started his teens he is more aware of how different he is, and it's affecting his self esteem knowing that he is different but not knowing why or how to fix it. The SENCO told me (when I asked if labelling is good or bad in her opinion) that it depends on how the child sees himself.

School referred him to CAMHS last year and they told me he is not 'autistic enough' for a diagnosis. They asked me if I have aspergers though, and until that meeting it had never occurred to me that any of his autistic traits came from me. I haven't seen his dad since he was a baby, and I hadn't realised that his dad has aspergers until his parents told me. They are very similar, and if his dad got back in touch I would understand why he just ran away now, I'd understand his horror of communication, awkward phone calls, conversation etc.

Anyway, although I knew I ticked all the boxes for dyspraxia I hadn't ever though about aspergers. Over the last year it's all started making sense, and I keep remembering things from the past and realising I behaved in the same way my son would.

There's one difference between my son and I though - my handwriting wasn't too bad. It was bad, and I remember my year 3 teacher being especially angry about it, but it wasn't illegible or huge, and it was all blamed on my being left handed. I passed exams because people could read my writing.

People can't read my son's writing and he is failing exams now. His grade for english is now lower than it was 3 years ago. He's a clever boy and he wants to go to uni, but if he can't pass english GCSE then I don't know if he can. For this reason I'm being pushy about getting him assessed for dyspraxia now, because I want him to be able to type in lessons and exams.

I bumbled along being disorganised and rubbish in many ways, but I managed to finish uni etc. so for myself I'm not sure how much good a diagnosis would do. The self awareness is creeping in now, and I'm starting to implement ideas that I thought would help my son, and realising that the same strategies would help me. My husband knows what I'm like, and he seems able to put up with me. He organises me. Outsiders might see it as being bossy and controlling, but really it's because he knows I have no awareness of time, can't work out how to organise my time so that the children get fed before bedtime, or we get home from the park in time to cook and eat before bed.

Ho hum, what a ramble! no, I'm not diagnosed but I tick almost every box my son ticks, but then he is not diagnosed either, yet.

Happy_Girl_2

I was assessed as being Aspie one week ago, and I am 40!

It started for me when i read a comment on here somewhere, from somebody who said Aspie feel the pain of their possessions being broken as a physical pain, and that rang a loud bell in my mind. I started reading more into it, and realised I tick lots of boxes, and took the Aspie diagnostic test online which showed I possess lots of Aspie traits. I scored 39 in the test

Last Friday, I discussed it with my Counsellor who after asking me several questions, confirmed what I thought, but did state it was mild as I have managed to survive in the real world pretty well so far. In the last week I have read countless books and articles, and both my partner and I read the book "Aspiergers in Love" which has taught us both to make slight changes to the way we communicate with each other, so that we both get our needs met. I strongly recommend that book if you are in a relationship. It will change the way you both see life, and make for more peaceful atmosphere

Having watched the movie Adam, and a few Autism programmes on BBC3, I am aware that for many, their Aspergers is quite debilitating. I have just found life a bit more of a struggle than most. I dislike big groups, have very black and white thinking, spend ages obsessing over stuff and am way too honest for my own good. My memory for doing day to day stuff is rubbish, and I have fixed routines that I get very agitated if broken

I coped rather than thrived at school, but I have held several senior roles at work, gained a professional qualification, and am now studying again through Open Uni. However, if I out washing in the washing in the machine, I have to set myself a reminder to take it our or I will forget about it for several days!

I see no need to get a further diagnosis. The revelation that there is a reason for my struggles has given me a new peace within myself, and the effort my partner has put into learning about how i see the world, means I now have a new relaxed relationship because we can communicate easier

I know its only been a week, but in that time I feel my life has started again, as I can now be open about what I struggle with, insead of having to expend energy pretending to be normal which never properly worked anyway lol

jellyhead

I'll try to find that online test, a relative did it on facebook. I think I scored 40 which is very high and the lack of comment from everyone confirmed my suspicion that they have always thought I was autistic, but never mentioned it out of politeness. One of my uncles scored high too, I think all of my uncles on my mum's side of the family would score high.

Thinking about it, I bet most of my uncles on both sides are dyslexic, and many of dad's side of the family have ADHD. My parents are both 1 of 8. Mum and her sisters are probably all dyspraxic although they did all manage to pass driving tests after a dozen or so attempts.

Could it really be that these things are so prevalent though, or are they personality traits rather than syndromes? I did wonder if the chromosome translocation I have might be something to do with the dodgy wiring.

ho hum, the peadiatrician who didn't want to label my son said that loads of people 'aren't quite normal' but they manage to pretend that they are, so there's no need to label them.

I can see a case for labelling my son now though, but he doesn't bumble along happily like I did, and his writing isn't legible enough for him to manage.

Happy Girl I'll try to remember to borrow that book from the library

Happy_Girl_2

Here is a link to the Asperger's Quotient test if anyone wants to take it...

http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html

You can also buy it as an iPhone App from the Apps Store for 59p, although the iPhone version only tells you whether you may have Asperger tendencies or not. It doesn't give you a score

Fridge2

I posted this elsewhere...

Myself, I had a very difficult childhood and indeed early adulthood due mainly to the fact that I was an undiagnosed Aspie Nobody really knew about these things then, so everyone else just thought that I was "odd" or "weird" (including my parents) and I was left to deal with it entireely myself.

This was not easy at all, as first I had to deal with the frightening truth that I was "different" from those around me in many fundamental ways.

It was a scary time for me, as it was like being on another planet where the aliens had different cultural mores and norms to me completely.I lost count of the amount of times that a situation would be akward , or I would be ridiculed or indeed beaten up.......I just didn't know how to behave.

However, gradually over time, I began to see a pattern developing. I realised that if I watched people and matched their reactions to a given situation, if I was careful i could select the " correct" response or behaviour which would allow me to "fit in." - I still didn't understand why I had to react in that particular way, but it made my life a bit easier.....

It got gradually easier, but it is an enormous strain being on guard all the time, and when I was in my early twenties I ended up being hospitalised briefly with severe depression, which was resolved again by me rationalising it.

Essentially this has been going on for forty two years. My internal "database" has grown to such an extent that I can pretty much pass for "normal "now. ( I do occassionally screw up when tired or not "filtering" what I say) I still don't understand people fully and there are many things I can't relate to, but I can function and indeed I now have a wife, good job and nice house...all the "trappings" so to speak.

The only downside is that it can be exhausting keeping your guard up all the time and continually watching what you say to the "aliens":D

I had a very bad car crash about ten years ago and received head injuries which neccessitated evaluation by a Psychologist. It was her who picked up the Aspergers then, and though I was really beyond what they could do to help me, it certainly assissted me in making sense of things.

I sometimes feel angry that there was no one around to help me with this when I really needed it. it would have made the world of difference if there had been others who understood and it may have saved me a lot of pain and difficulty in life, but you can't be bitter forever....you sometimes just have to move on.

Indie_Kid

I'm sure someone on here (and somewhere else) said that everyone has some form of Asperger traits.

arctictern

I was diagnosed as an adult (mid 50's) although I was aware that I was not quite normal (whatever that is!) from the time I started school aged 5. I have a child on the autistic spectrum and it was evident that their psychiatrist realised that I too was on the spectrum. A counsellor also realised that I was autistic. Eventually I sought a diagnosis through my GP who refered me to a psychiatrist who made the diagnosis. This is now on my medical records.

Children through school as a rule ignored me knowing that I was different. This was lonely. Teachers did not like me because I would not put my hand up in class (I saw no point in proving to others what I knew). However I did very well academically and found that in my late teens classmates were a little friendlier (partly because perhaps I had learnt how to behave a bit more normally). Although I (almost) passed for normal women in particular realised that I was not quite right. I found the adult world easier than school becuase adults are usually a bit more accomodating of difference.

The fundamental problem with autistic people is that we do not relate to other people. Also we are anxious about our environment. All the other things are just peripheral although important perhaps they might be considered symptoms of these two problems. Life can be very lonely and frightening (the control thing with people like us is to help make sure that we have no surprises). Depression can be a problem.

On the plus side we tend to be truthful and loyal. Additionally we do not do things just because everybody else does. We don't care what others think about us so will stand out and be honest rather than just agree for the sake of no arguement. We often very logical and good at making decisions becuase we are not influenced by emotions.