It all goes to pot at the weekend!!!

goingon30_2

hello! 1st post on MSE:j
I have been reading the forums on this site for quite some time now, and have learnt a lot about budgetting and got loads of recipes from the Old style people. My problem is that however good I am during the week, by the weekend; when DH is home from work all my efforts go out of the window and things just slide.

I managed to get a(what was supposed to be!) monthly shop for about £110 pounds, a couple of weeks ago; and I really worked hard at making it all stretch. Batch cooking and freezing extra portions, baking endless lunchbox treats for DH (who knew you could freeze brownies?), and so on.

I am sooo careful in the week at home alone (not counting the dog), even down to reusing tea-bags! (they are Twinings though-on special offer) But come the weekend, its so easy to go and get a coffee, at Starbucks, or get a takeaway, or buy something we don't need.

Partly, this is down to me feeling guilty because DH works really hard with a 3hr a day commute, and I feel really bad for him not being able to enjoy the fruits (or burgers) of his labour.

We have food in the cupboard and in the freezer. How do I get out of this bad habit of "fasting" (not literally, of course) and then blowing it all by feasting at the weekend??:(

any advice?

Asiacat

One of the effective techniques I came up with was to "cover the danger zone".

When I worked in England I would earn a fair amount of money and then blow a sizeable proportion of it on a Saturday afternoon at the local shopping centre.

The simple solution I came up with was to find something to do on a Saturday afternoon that was enjoyable but cheap.

If for example my wastage on a Saturday afternoon was sixty pounds I figured that if I could find something enjoyable to do at the very time I would otherwise have been out spending I would be "earning" the equivalent of 20 pound an hour to relax.

Activities I came up with were things like watching t.v programs I'd recorded during the week,a long hot soak with a favourite book, an afternoon of passion with my then partner, a rented DVD with a four pack of lager and a pizza (cheaper than a day out at the shopping centre) or an afternoon at the cinema. The important principle here is that you are replacing one behaviour with another if not more productive then at least less destructive.

Will power alone simply doesn't work and in any case feels as if you are denying yourself pleasure. Replace the unwanted behaviour instead of simply trying to abstain from it.

I also realize that a little of what you fancy does you good. So another thing I would do would be to allocate a weekly budget to frivolous things say 20 pound. I would then list the things in advance I would like to do and then using my budget choose what I would do. This technique usually means you choose the most enjoyable activity/purchase whilst foresaking the others.

norm79

This may not be the advice some will give, but I would not starve yourself of anything. If it means you spend £10 extra a week (as long as it is within you means) then it is best to do it. From my experience people who try and give up too much at once and deprive themselves of a treat end up blowing more when the frustration builds up.

How about budgeting a takeaway and a few beers in every two weeks? This could be offset by having something extra cheap like JP and beans one night.

Hope this helps.

niccatw

I agee with the two above posters. Instead of stressing out about what you do spend at the weekends, budget it in.

And have a look at the cheaper alternatives... can you make a picnic and go for a walk, take your own food into the cinema (my friend and I always take in a tub of mixed fruit!), find out what free things are happening in your area; are there craft fairs you can mooch around at, or free music gigs, or events you'd never know about if you weren't looking for them...

All of these things might help you spend less money and more quality time together. But I agree, you need a "frivolities" budget to keep yourself on the straight and narrow and let yourself off the hook!

goingon30_2

Thanks, Asiacat. That is a good idea, watching Tv is more of a luxury now, as we are both very busy. I always like to watch FlashForward on 5od, so I will do this at the weekend now, and maybe make more of an event of, pop some corn or some nice homemade snack. We can pretend we are at the movies.

norm79 yes i feel we should possibly allocate a bit of cash for life's little luxuries. The trouble is not letting it get out of control. Maybe a cash budget would work for this?

goingon30_2

niccatw wrote: »

I agee with the two above posters. Instead of stressing out about what you do spend at the weekends, budget it in.

And have a look at the cheaper alternatives... can you make a picnic and go for a walk, take your own food into the cinema (my friend and I always take in a tub of mixed fruit!), find out what free things are happening in your area; are there craft fairs you can mooch around at, or free music gigs, or events you'd never know about if you weren't looking for them...

All of these things might help you spend less money and more quality time together. But I agree, you need a "frivolities" budget to keep yourself on the straight and narrow and let yourself off the hook!

Too true. I have tried the picnic thing. the trouble is it is never bloomin picnic weather when we go, we are always eating butties with the wind howling around our faces and rain getting in our thermos cups. Lol!

we have a website which lists things to do. Maybe we could start the weekend with a stall at a car boot and earn our spends? I am a little scared of carbooting though.

niccatw

That sounds a great idea - but I'm with you on the fear of selling at car boots! Maybe you just need to start going for a nosey and get a feel for how the car boots in your area work and when you are feeling braver, then sell! (And maybe I should try that too!)

donny-gal

Well if the weather isn't right for a picnic, what about a candlelit dinner for two, you could buy something nice out of your budge, and I am sure DH wouldnot object to a little romance after . . . .
DG

goingon30_2

niccatw wrote: »

That sounds a great idea - but I'm with you on the fear of selling at car boots! Maybe you just need to start going for a nosey and get a feel for how the car boots in your area work and when you are feeling braver, then sell! (And maybe I should try that too!)

I'm not afraid of selling if its all out on the table, but I've heard that people can crowd around your boot before you have even unpacked! I've never seen it for myself though so I am very tempted to give it a try. Its just working out, what to take, and how much to charge someone for Hungry Hungry Hippos and the like!?:rotfl:

goingon30_2

donny-gal wrote: »

Well if the weather isn't right for a picnic, what about a candlelit dinner for two, you could buy something nice out of your budge, and I am sure DH wouldnot object to a little romance after . . . .
DG

hehe. we have a glut of candles left over from our wedding some years back, so yes that would be cute. Having a proper dinner at the table would be romantic, I guess it doesn't really matter what we eat. I don't drink so that cuts on costs, and I could drink cherryade out of a wine glass to keep up appearances. lol.

Thank God love is free!

randomer

Nobody can be good all the time. How about making "the weekend "Friday evening and Saturday. That way damage will be limited.