What a man!!

toile

Hi everyone

Well after years of keeping my debt problems from my husband, i finally told him and he has been fantastic, I'm not expecting him to pay them off (even if he could) but I now have the strength to tackle this and stop being the scared ostrich that i have been for years.....Oh why didn't i do this sooner. I have the most understanding husband he is the best.

So the next step....when i get all the figures together i will need help and advice from all you clever peeps.

While this was the hardest thing i have ever had to do, I think its gonna be the best thing.

This is a new chapter in my life now and i am gonna get there!

wish me luck

toile

MrsTinks

Well done! And hooray for your husband for understanding and supporting you And just as important - thank you for sharing what a great hubby you have - hopefully you will show someone else that it's great to share the stress and burden with your partner. Sadly so many are too scared too

Spirit_2

Well done . Honesty is usually the best policy.

If you post an SOA it will give you clarity on what you owe, and you will get advice from DFW's on how to start tackling your debts, that is tailored to you.

savingwannabe

What a fantastic thread title. Well done toile and good luck on your MSE journey!!!!

Tixy

Hi

Glad you have found the strength to tell him, I imagine it will be much easier to deal with and to budget if he is aware. Well done for being brave and taking the plunge.

And great that he has been so understanding as well, sounds like he will help support you mentally if not financially.

Good idea to work on getting all your paperwork and figures together so you can work out where you are, and of course we'll be happy to help you when you need it.

Good luck!

toile

Thank you all for you prompt replys. Its great to have your support. I finally told him after reading mouseanns thread, and have posted there to thank her.

Do you know whats strange.. the debt hasn't gone away and it will take a lot of work, but i feel great, laughing again and what was all consuming seems secondry.

I feel 20 years younger....lucky mr toile:D

Lisap84

well done on telling your husband! i didn't tell my BF for ages the true extent of my debts but its such a relief when its all out in the open! everyone on here seems to have really good advice so i'm sure you'll get help whenever you need it!
good luck on your journey x

pixiechick_2

Hi toile.

Well done for admitting your debt problems to your husband, many of us have taken ages just to admit them to ourselves.

Your husband sounds fantastic, many would have been judgemental.

Get your figures together, do an soa and post on here, keep a spending diary and keep coming here for advice, support or even a bit of light-hearted silliness to help you forget your worries for a while.

Happytogetdebtfree

Well done tolie keep up the good work xx

toile

Good morning everyone and thanks for your kind words.

I am still getting figures together and researching some of the excellent advice on this site.
Hubby is coping well, for a man who dosn't do debt, dosn't even have a credit card and has suddenly been plunged into a world of balance transfers, apr's stc stc.

My big worry though is this, although we are not linked financially, would it be likely that the bank (debts all with lloyds tsb. hubby also banks with them, as well as several family members) could make life difficult for them?

My husband is self employed and has business bank accounts with lloyds.

Because at the moment I am so angry at the lack of help from ltsb I would consider the unenforcebility route, but not if, in a roundabout way it affected the rest of my family.

Thanks again

toile

Tixy

Hi toile

Do you have no joint finances with your husband? (not a joint mortgage or overdraft?) If so then you will be financially associated and should you consider the unenforcability route this would affect his finances (and affect you both when you next try to move/fix your mortgage).

If you have no joint accounts at all and are definitely not associated (check you credit reports to be sure) then there should be nothing Lloyds can do to him.

Pull all your information and a SoA together before you decide whether that is the right route for you.