Can't control myself

beanielou

Hiya LL & welcome to MSE!
I think you are great being able to pinpoint the problem.Thats the biggest battle a lot of the time.You have realised that you have a problem with food & money which is hard to do. Sticking to a budget is extremly hard(for me thats my biggest challange and I still dont always manage)
I wish you lots of luck on your journey
Huggles

lizzie12_2

This page is full of help and advice - just wondered how you are getting on...... well I hope with a few bob in your pocket.

Me.. rubbish, back to spending diary again.xx

julesangles

if i didnt know better i would have thought i wrote this post.
i tidy the house till there is no more to do.
i iron tilll the draws are empty and everything reironed.
i read till its 3 books a night.
i keep a spending diary.
i highlight all the stuff that i shouldnt buy.
but still i buy c**p. feel guilty have way through then throw it away.
like queenb the baking and making is helping. i just need to find healty food to make.
think i may try the making other stuff like stiching just to keep my hands busy and clean.
you aint alone. good luck my thoughts are with you

tawnyowls

LavenderLily wrote:

I have done a lot of soul searching and I genuinely can't understand why I am so obsessed with food! I have always been like it - even as a little girl I would ask for food all the time. It's like a family joke that I eat a lot and it hurts sometimes because I don't like being known as a greedy pig but I guess your family get to see the worst of you!

There's clearly something running quite deep there if it started off at that stage. Did you get rewarded, even if just by a smile or extra attention if you polished off all your food? Did you feel rejected or unloved, and eating made you feel better?

LavenderLily wrote:

I almost buy so much food to punish myself. It's like I'm a self fulfilling prophecy. I can't allow myself to be good. Bingeing makes me feel cr*p but I do it anyway.

Yes, that does sound like you're punishing yourself. For what? I'm particularly concerned when you say you "get hairbrush and scratch eczema" - that, to me, is not very far away from someone cutting their arms; it's the same idea of causing yourself physical pain and by doing so, possibly releasing some sort of emotional pain.

I echo the thoughts of others - I think you need to get help, perhaps from your doctor, perhaps from some sort of support group. Above all, you need to really face up to anything that has caused this bad relationship with food, shopping, damaging yourself etc. In the meantime, of course, the practical suggestions to manage your finances will help, but they are a short-term thing; in the long term, you have to be able to manage them, and your feelings.

Mrs_Sparkle

Hi Lily, I spend too much on food as well. I have got cupboards full of nice, nourishing food and could probably live "for free" for at least a month from my cupboards + freezer combined. But I will get the urge for a chicken korma and nothing else will do- I have to have this, which means spending money that I could be using for DFW purposes. I have to have the fridge stuffed with about 4 types of cheese plus real butter, luxury yoghurts and nice deli things. It's ridiculous but I can't seem to stop this overspending.

All I can say is keep coming on here- I have slightly improved since being in the company of these guys as they make me very ashamed when I read about their £25/week grocery bills.

foxy999_2

I think you are managing well, so I cant give you any better moneysaving advice than others here can offer, but i would advise you to have a good think about an action pan for change and then approach your husband with it in a calm, confessional, apologetic and yet positive manner.

IMHO, You have to talk with him about your problems, and ask for his support, otherwise I think two things happen:

1) you store your problems up, and this makes you feel worse, which may then make the problem worse.

and

2) Your husband will react worse the longer you leave it. You need his love and support, and this wont happen if you make him feel alienated from the problem.

everyone's situation is different, but i am going through a divorce (2 children), and a MAJOR contributing factor was a repeated pattern of my wife asking me to pay off her debts and then secretly building up more debt again.

It led to a chain of events which led us to separate.