Can't control myself

tyllwyd

Reading your post made me think that your real issue is your relationship with food, not so much your relationship with money. Even though you are on anti-depressants, you obviously are still feeling unbalanced in that area of your life.

Have you gone to your doctor and told him about your problem with binge eating? It is as much an issue as anorexia or bulimia, and it may be that he would be able to find you some help. Or you might be able to find support on an eating disorders board - there is one on ivillage http://messageboards.ivillage.co.uk/iv-ukhloed

Are you a full-time mum to your little boy? Do you find that easy or difficult? I've got two daughters, and although I love them to bits, I don't find it easy to be at home with young children all the time. I certainly find that I have to try to fill the day to keep myself occupied, and it is very easy to use food to give myself something to do.

I hope you manage to get things sorted soon, and start feeling better in yourself.

ZTD

LavenderLily wrote:

I think it's a problem I have got from my mum as she was bulimic when I was growing up although I never knew that until recently. Well, not consciously any way. I have obviously picked up her binge eating habits! I don't make myself sick though.

From what you've said, it's really the "addiction" to buying food that's the problem. IMHO, you need to see your GP and discuss this, there will be someone who he can refer you to.

LavenderLily wrote:

God, I AM writing quite a lot aren't I?!

This isn't really very much to write. The system will stop your writing more than 5,000 characters. I guess you needn't ask me how I know this... :whistle:

LavenderLily wrote:

Verbal diarrhoea I think.

Or low self-esteem.

Dr.Shoe_2

Try to get into some good habits with your spending. Once you find that you're saving money you'll "get the bug" and try to save more.

You should get into the habit of giving yourself little (cheap or free) rewards every time you meet a money saving goal. Even saving up 20ps or pound coins in a jar will be a surprisingly large step in the right direction...

LavenderLily_2

I have done a lot of soul searching and I genuinely can't understand why I am so obsessed with food! I have always been like it - even as a little girl I would ask for food all the time. It's like a family joke that I eat a lot and it hurts sometimes because I don't like being known as a greedy pig but I guess your family get to see the worst of you!

I like the idea of giving my bank cards to my husband - feels a bit 1950's housewife but it might just do the trick.

I used to work full time in a court and I loved it. However, I am totally happy in my choice to give up work to be a full time mum - when my little boy is at school I will return to work again. I just need to learn to live within my means. It wouldn't matter if I had £500 per month housekeeping - I would still spend more than that!

Actually, I've just been thinking (sat here in the dark with just the glow of the monitor illuminating my hunched figure...lol) that I think I almost buy so much food to punish myself. It's like I'm a self fulfilling prophecy. I can't allow myself to be good. Bingeing makes me feel cr*p but I do it anyway. Getting more credit when I promised my husband I wouldn't makes me feel cr*p but I do it anyway. I have a little routine - buy food, eat food, feel cr*p,get hairbrush and scratch eczema, tidy house, write budget, feel good and 'clean' again...then next day buy food etc...

Yeah, I think I'm a fruit loop!

Think is, I'm not a headcase - I'm just a normal girl that you wouldn't even look twice at in the street. Makes you wonder what is going on in everyone elses lives - who else is a secret spender/eater/scratcher?!!!

Congrats to anyone who has managed to keep up with all this drivel...your prize is in the post.

h4nym

Lil

How are you spending the money? Not on what, but what's the situation? Are you out and about? Just passing time? Going out for some retail therapy?

Reason I ask is that I absolutely ALWAYS end up buying something when I have money in my pocket. And spookily enough, I don't spend anything when I don't have any money to spend!

OK - head down to the supermarket, take 40 quid in cash with you and make sure that you make it buy enough to feed, clothe and clean you and family for a week.

Head out for a walk with kid, just walk! Stop by all the shops if you want, but if you have no means of paying for anything, then you can't spend any money! When you've paid off your overdraft, then you can allow yourself to spend the interest that you were incurring... but only then!

Try it - it works for me!

H

Marnie

How to feed, clothe and clean family for 40 quid a week? Is it possible?

mrcow

Marnie wrote:

How to feed, clothe and clean family for 40 quid a week? Is it possible?

Yes it is

Lara44

Hi Lily

I found the same thing as you when I first started my spending diary. I would just buy sweets and crap all the time. I was determined to give it up but it has been so hard. It's only after 2 months of having to wrestle with myself everyday (and fall of the wagon regularily) that I am having some no-cr*p sweets etc spend free days.

I gave myself £30 per week for socialising/general bits with. As soon as I realised that if I bought crap everyday I wouldn't be able tog o out with friends it really helped me. The £30 was too preciuos to spend on rubbish.

Mostly I started buying really nice fruit at the market cheaply.Then if I wanted something sweet I could have fruit which was great. I'm on my own a lot like you - I work in a shop usually alone and I work the weekend and so have days off in the week. I find I only tend to want to eat crap when I am alone, so I tried to get out and about as much as possible also.

Lara x

Marnie

How do you feed a family on 40 pounds a week? Is there some shopping list or sample menu I could see? Does that include lunches for every member of the family, kids’ lunch and mine at work?

lynzpower

marnie, It will probably- yep

I do 25per week for me & OH, including all that stuff, and cleaning washing powder etc.

Ask on the old style board!