Help me understand this please.

klaatu

Definitely get your own legal advice. The more of the details you give, the more it appears that you're entitled to more than you're getting.

mrcow

liz_uk wrote:

What would be reasonable for me to ask?

Half!


If you are uncomfortable, you should for sure see an independent solicitor before you sign it all away. They will advise you exactly what your rights are. Your bf may feel uncomfortable with this, but in the long run, it shouldn't matter if he's serious about the relationship.

If he's not serious about the relationship, then you could find yourself in a position (maybe soon!) where you really need the money.

Protecting your daughter and your rights is what it's about. You and her Dad are all she's got to depend on and you need to do what's right for her.

liz_uk

How do I go about getting legal advice and how much should I expect it to cost me ??

Rimo2021

mrcow wrote:

I'm not saying to demand half to the equity (I think I would though!),

Quite rightly. It doesn't matter who earns what and whose name is on the pay cheque - you are both putting equal amounts of time into the partnership whether its earning or child caring or housework or whatever.

It's usually men who can't get their heads around this concept and think that a 50/50 division of assets is unfair - but if they don't, given the current divorce statistics a woman must be extremely careful if she has a child with a partner she is not married to because she is in a very vulnerable position financially. If the relationship breaks down (even if they had a joint mortgage and her name is on the deeds so that she is entitled to a share of the equity) she is not entitled to a share of any of the other assets her partner was able to build up on the back of her giving up work to bring up their children. It is also likely that she will be unable to regain the earning power she gave up over a long period of time.

In my opinion a woman of sense who is having a child with a partner she is not married to will insist that one of he following happens:

a) they marry. (prob the best solution)

b) he gives up work to bring up their children. (this solution just shifts the financial vulnerability)

c) they both continue with their careers and pay for childcare. That way neither lose their earning power. (This solution means both neither partner becomes financially vulnerable but may well put extra pressure on the relationship)

d) she gives up work to bring up the children but he contributes to a pension in her name and makes a legal committment (eg a deed of trust) to pay her a settlement of £x per year should the relationship break up (This payment being designed to assist her to regain the earning power she lost by giving up work to bring up their children - eg. to get training or top up her earnings for a time after the breakup)

lottee

liz_uk wrote:

Even though we bought it together as a joint mortagage, I didn`t live there or contribute as I was a full time mother at the time.

oh my god! I think that is worth more than going out to work! Running a house and looking after a child is hard work, I actually look forward to getting to work for my 4 hours for a break!
Not sure on the legal side of things, but just thought I would share my opinion with everyone!!!

CB1979_2

how much of the £116k was HIS money originally?

ie if he put in £80k originally and then now you've sold a house and "he" has £116k, personally would say you want 50% of the profit from the sale of the house?

therefore £116k minus his orginal £80k, you have £36k left, then split that 50-50, to me that's fair.

Rimo2021

liz_uk wrote:

I don`t want to sound like the gold digging girlfriend because I`m far from that. I just want to know that my daughter and I will be financially secure if it all goes wrong !

Standing up for your rights and the recognition of the fact that you have made a contribution in caring for his child that is of equal value as his contribution of earning money is NOT gold digging!!

liz_uk wrote:

What would be reasonable for me to ask?

HALF

(edit: half of the increase in value after any deposit paid by either of you has been taken into account)

maryjane01

Make sure you get everything you are entitled to for the sake of your child. If your partner didn't previously contribute anything to raise your child, and then when he started only £30 per week, what if you split up, he went back to paying nothing and there was no extra profit in the house after paying all fees? Even if he paid all the mortgage payments, your money was going to raising his child, and he may not have even been able to get a omrtgage to buy the first house in the firt pace if your name was not on the mortgage with him. Don't worry about sounding like a gold digger, because you don't. Put your child and YOUR PARTNER's CHILD 1st in this and get your own legal advice.

Rimo2021

CB1979 wrote:

how much of the £116k was HIS money originally?

ie if he put in £80k originally and then now you've sold a house and "he" has £116k, personally would say you want 50% of the profit from the sale of the house?

therefore £116k minus his orginal £80k, you have £36k left, then split that 50-50, to me that's fair.

Yes - If he had capital originally (presumably he did as he owned before with a previous g/f) this should be taken into account. The OP should be entitled to half the increase in equity (minus costs) of the house he owned with her.

seven-day-weekend

I don't wish to offend anyone, but I can't imagine why the OP is thinking of having a major financial partnershipship with this person when she is so worried about the relationship failing.

Have the equity from your house sale and use it towards buying a place of your own.