Boyfriend moving in - HELP!

loopyloulou_3

My boyfriend is in the process of moving in with me.

I have a three bed house, which I have owned for 6 years. My mortgage is currently £337 a month and about to go up to £667 a month. I have approximatley £50k equity in the property and obviously am worried about risking this, therefore have agreed not to put his name on the mortgage.

I currently (including servicing debt) pay out £1697.00 a month and earn £1819.00 so without a lodger etc. it is very tight to say the very least.
I had a lodger who paid £380 a month (although the going rate where I live is £400).

Me and boyfriend discussed money last night, and he said he is prepared to pay half of the household bills and half of the food. Although if he were to contribute towards the mortgage he would expect some kind of agreement that if we split he would be entitled to a share of the equity from the time he moved in.

The household bills come to around £400 (exclusive of food - which we agreed we would pay £100 a month each for) therefore he will be paying £300 inlcusive of food. (£200 towards bills, £100 towards food)

Is this a bit too generous on my part? He seems to be getting an incredibly good deal if you ask me! And I don’t want to resent my decision later.

Opinions please? What do you think is reasonable? Should he contribute towards the house/rent?

The worry is, him living with me isnt going to actually make my life financially any easier if he just pays half the bills, and he will have around £900 disposable income, whereas I will be still not in a particularily comfortable position. I know it is not his fault, but he is gaining massive benefit of me having a house. I am sacrificing my home (don't get me wrong, I love him and want to live with him), but I feel that I am at a huge disadvantage financially for being a homeowner. A house which, if we marry, he will gain the financial benefit from.

I am totally unsure as how best to deal with this situation as I feel like I cannot ask him for more money as I feel it is unfair that he is inadvertantly contributing to the mortgage without being on it. But if he were to rent it would cost him a hell of a lot more.

I don’t know what to do and am stressed to the max about this situtation. I kind of need him to contribute more money, but don’t know how to word it. I am USELESS about talking about money.

HELP!

Lx

Auntie-Dolly

Why isn't he prepared to pay anything towards the roof over his head? He must realise you can't live anywhere for free. I don't know the legal in & outs of protecting you property, but I would expect 50% of the costs of living there to come from him, regardless of whether he is on the mortgage or not. What is his current situation?

Leaseholder49

why is your mortgage about to go up so much?

[Deleted User]

he sounds like a free loader

Sagz_2

Did you get rid of the lodger because BF was moving in?

If yes, then I think it's fair to ask the BF to make up the money you've lost.
If the lodger leaving was nothing to do with the BF moving in then just get another lodger.

I'm in a similar position to you, I own my house (well me and the bank do!) and my OH lives here 'rent free', but that is my choice as I don't want to share the house with him, yet. We split all other bills apart from mortgage, house insurance etc straight down the middle.

We have been together almost 5 years now and we intend to move next year, which is when he will start paying into the mortgage and have a share in our house.

DaveLy

Find a similar property rental wise, work out half of the costs from that.

or.

He pays £300 + half of the interest of the morgage per month. That way, none of his money is going towards the actual debt from the property.

Be it interest on a morgage or actual rent, you are esentially paying his share of the rent.

shellsuit

loopyloulou wrote: »

My boyfriend is in the process of moving in with me.

I have a three bed house, which I have owned for 6 years. My mortgage is currently £337 a month and about to go up to £667 a month. I have approximatley £50k equity in the property and obviously am worried about risking this, therefore have agreed not to put his name on the mortgage.

I currently (including servicing debt) pay out £1697.00 a month and earn £1819.00 so without a lodger etc. it is very tight to say the very least.
I had a lodger who paid £380 a month (although the going rate where I live is £400).

Me and boyfriend discussed money last night, and he said he is prepared to pay half of the household bills and half of the food. Although if he were to contribute towards the mortgage he would expect some kind of agreement that if we split he would be entitled to a share of the equity from the time he moved in. Cheeky git, I'd be telling him to look for his own place!

The household bills come to around £400 (exclusive of food - which we agreed we would pay £100 a month each for) therefore he will be paying £300 inlcusive of food. (£200 towards bills, £100 towards food) I don't think that's enough to be paying you at all.

Is this a bit too generous on my part? He seems to be getting an incredibly good deal if you ask me! And I don’t want to resent my decision later.

Opinions please? What do you think is reasonable? Should he contribute towards the house/rent? Yes he should!

The worry is, him living with me isnt going to actually make my life financially any easier if he just pays half the bills, and he will have around £900 disposable income, whereas I will be still not in a particularily comfortable position. I know it is not his fault, but he is gaining massive benefit of me having a house. I am sacrificing my home (don't get me wrong, I love him and want to live with him), but I feel that I am at a huge disadvantage financially for being a homeowner. A house which, if we marry, he will gain the financial benefit from.

I am totally unsure as how best to deal with this situation as I feel like I cannot ask him for more money as I feel it is unfair that he is inadvertantly contributing to the mortgage without being on it. But if he were to rent it would cost him a hell of a lot more.

I don’t know what to do and am stressed to the max about this situtation. I kind of need him to contribute more money, but don’t know how to word it. I am USELESS about talking about money.

HELP!

Lx

Would you not sell up and get a place of your own with him?

£300 a month is a joke, that is £69 a week for a roof over his head, all bills and all shopping!

haras_nosirrah

How about 50% of the interest only amount of your mortgage on top. That way he is not contributing to the equity and therefore shouldn't be entitled to anything should house prices rise.

Did a similar thing with my partner. He lived with me for a year with me and my lodgers. We have now bought a place together and I rent out my old house as security if things go wrong.

I suppose the concern he might have is that if he lives with you in 'your house' for years and then things go wrong it may have denied him the opportunity to get a house of his own.

But he should at least contribute towards the interest only part of your mortgage. That would at least help a bit.

PasturesNew

What is the local LHA shared room rate?
How much does that LHA + half the bills cost?

Paying for food needs to be separated from the basics of roof/bills as it cloudies the matter.

Nosht

Just watch that if you split up he cannot lodge a claim on the property as a dependant partner or something like as I know of females that have succeeded with similar claims in this situation despite not contributing to the upkeep or anything.
Take legal advice.

N.

hugheskevi

The household bills come to around £400 (per month)

This seems very high to me, my monthly bills are £264 for a 3-bed house, and I think I am paying over the odds for water (getting a water meter) and insurance which I include within that. You might want to check your utility suppliers and look at the best deals on offer.

As to the question, I'd be looking at roughly what it would cost to rent a similar place, dividing that by 2 and that would be the rent he owes you on top of his share of food and bills. It might be that the rent is roughly the same as bills and food, if that was the case you could for convenience come to an arrangement where he lives rent free in return for sorting out all the bills and food.

You might be feeling guilty/embarrassed about talking about this and asking him. But it is your boyfriend who should be feeling guilty and embarrassed if anyone is- if I was him I would be insisting on paying something reasonable for rent and not putting you in an awkward position.