Can we afford a baby?

Packers

Hiya,

My fiance and I have been together for 8 years and we are getting married in 2012. We would be married sooner, but for financial restrictions. I am 31 and he is 37. We both want to have a baby (to the point where I am getting a bit obsessed!)- I would like to have a couple of kids eventually- and I am aware that we need to get 'started' soon...I'm already considered an 'old mum' (no offence to others who are older than me- the NHS's terminology, not mine!!!). However, I have a large number of debts which I am steadily paying off via DMP and various other negotiated repayments. My current debt-free date is January 2012. I have always been self-sufficient and I want to be able to support my family financially. I earn a good salary, and would be able to provide well (even on a part-time wage), as soon as my money stops being swallowed up in debt repayments. I suppose I really want to know- and it sounds really cold- how much a baby would 'cost' financially, going on the benefit of the experience of people on here who have had children. Do you think it's better to wait until my debts are all repaid? Or whether we should just get on with it?! My mum always says 'You'll never be able to really afford kids, so just get on with it- you'll find a way to get by!'.

Any advice or wisdom would be greatfully received.

Packers. x

Sunshine12

They do say that if you waited till you could afford it you would never have any! I would say if it feels right and you are comfortable with it then you should just go for it. You never know how long it will take so no time like the present! (Damn NHS definitions!! - Im 37 and trying for our first!! "Old Mum" makes me feel terrible!!)

Good luck with it!! :T

pukkamum

You will nerver ever 'afford' to have a baby there will always be something needs paying or saving for.
My advice would be go for it, not being awful but you aren't getting any younger and fertility dramatically decreases in your thirties.
I have so many firends who waited for the perfect time only to find it never came and are now having problems concieving.

Babies as such cost as little or as much as you want, the biggest 'cost' is a lost wage.
Everything else can be done very cheaply, my DH and i found we had more disposable income after having our first as we were no longer eating out going out clubbing/drinking etc.

If you breast fed, bought second hand baby equipment etc the costs would be minimal and don't forget your child benefit and poss child tax credit.

**confuzzled**

IMO emotionally ready is far more important than financially ready(my sig confirms this:o:rotfl:), if you feel you can cope with a baby then go for it:) It won't necessarily happen straight away anyway so you can be chipping away at the debts in the meantime:) babies don't need as much as we're told they need so long as they have the essentials and a lot of love they'll be content:)

clare1076

hiya my opinion on this is you can never really afford to have a baby but somehow you just do, i thought we could never afford to have kids but when i thought really long and hard about it it occurred to me that i'd never have them if i thought that way. So i can't say how much it costs but you do just find the money.

sorry for waffling and i don't think i've helped. Good luck

Oldernotwiser

I think that it would be irresponsible to have a child and work part time when you still have substantial debts to pay off. Can you pull your belt in tighter and pay your debts off more quickly; if the answer to this is no, how will you pay them when you're on maternity pay or working part time?

maryotuam

I got pregnant when we had very little money but I accepted gifts of secondhand clothes cots prams etc. It was only when my 2 children were teenagers that our finances improved. But we were happy, lived frugally had camping holidays etc. My kids have never been materialistic and I am very proud of them.

What children want most is your time and attention. Giving them too much makes them grow up shallow and self centred. So money is irrelevant. Going to the museum library or park is free.

Go for it. Having my children was the most important and wonderful thing I have ever done. They have grown up to be hard working, sensible.and caring.

[Deleted User]

As other posters have said you can never afford a baby. My father told me this over 40 years ago!

Regarding the cost of a child a midwife friend told me "there are a lot of things a baby doesn't need". Yes you do need a pushchair, cot and a carseat. But you do not need for example a baby bath, cot bumpers, new clothes. If you breastfeed you don't even need bottles (never had one for 3 babies). This friend added that you remember what you did with your baby and child not what they were wearing. However many new mothers feel that their babyor they are missing out if they don't have all the things that mothercare can sell them. you will have to decide for yourself what your attidtude is to spending on baby.

Bufger

If the child will have a loving home thats far more important than financial stability. As long as you will still have a roof over your head and can put food in its belly.

Plenty of people bring kids into a rich but unloved environment, i know which one i would rather have!

daska

yep, intially there is little cost except any lost wage (they get more expensive with age). use a bucket or the kitchen sink for a bath, old t'shirts for blankets, a drawer as a crib etc. The joy comes not from the things surrounding a baby but from the interaction between you, the sense of wonder...

Oldernotwiser

Whilst I agree that we all have differnt ideas about financial stability and of course babies don't have to be that expensive, I wonder whether people have missed this part of the OP's post?

"However, I have a large number of debts which I am steadily paying off via DMP and various other negotiated repayments."

Would anyone like to suggest how she can carry on making these repayments on a part time or maternity pay income? Are you recommending that she should go bankrupt rather than waiting for 18 months/2 years to have a baby?