Children and helping around the house.

Aril

Following a conversation with my friend yesterday I was curious to know how far you go bringing your children up in an old style way? Her 14yo is being offered a £10 weekly incentive in a bid to get her to clean and tidy her bedroom....alas to no avail. My friend now has £70 put aside for her in an account..as she said when she was that age if her Mum had offered her money she'd have bitten her hand:D
My 9yo now makes his own bed, puts all his clean laundry away [except those bits he can't reach to hang up], tidies his bedroom [well perhaps stuffs it under his bed is more appropriate] once a week so I can hoover in there, lays the table and takes his own dirty plate through. Tonight he's going to start helping with the drying up. I don't think what I'm expecting of him is a great deal and as a child myself I think I probably did a bit more [although didn't have homework granted]. My thinking is that the better I prepare him now the easier it will be later on when he's independent and he also has some appreciation of the amount of work that goes into running the home.
I give him £1 per week pocket money and I buy him the Beano [he also gets a small sum from my parents]. With this money he can spend it on what he likes...he's already worked out that charity shops are a better bet than the toy shop and that sweets don't last [he's bought some by me on a weekly basis to have once he's eaten his tea]. By giving him choices I hope I am beginning to sow the idea of budgeting but I am also careful to take measures so that he doesn't stand out and is made a target for bullying.
I just wonderered what other Old Stylers opinions were about bringing up children in a more old style way and possible advantages/disadvantage. I fully appreciate that things may be very different when he's a teenager:rotfl: :rotfl:
Aril

squeaky

Hiya

We have an older thread with a few comments that may be of help here, so I'll add your post onto the end. Posts are listed in date order so you'll need to read from the beginning to catch up.

Other threads that might be of interest are...

What 3 dishes should you teach your children to cook?

Xmas baking with my children on xmas eve

How much do your kids do around the house?

How OS are your kids?

Saving time by making the kids do some of the work

mary43

With the kids I care for its a difficult one as they're in there teens and habits are well established. I did have a system with one lad where I told him if he didn't pick up all the stuff on his bedroom floor I would do it and charge him 50p per item to get it back..............never seen a boy move so quick to clear up.................lol
I do have one lad here who will help out (if nagged enough) and not expect financial reward for it.............he's at an age where he buys his own clothes and has quickly found out that charity shops are the place to go.
The other lad likes to have the 'name' on the item and thinks I'm potty.........lol

When my boys were growing up they had very little pocket money (I had little to give after their father died) and they had certain jobs allocated to them each week...............one did the bathroom and swept the stairs, the hoovered downstairs and dusted. I think it was when they were around 10 they both asked if they could iron something...........so very quickly (hated ironing) they started off with a tea towel (I wouldn't normally have bothered)
and then on to their t-shirts, followed by school shirts and they felt very proud of themselves for having done it. Cooking was another thing they actually asked to do...........along with sewing - no financial rewards were given for any of these things. They saw it as an achievement for themseves and helping me at the same time. The hardest thing to get them to do was wash up ! One washed and one dried and put away..............they did it but oh it was hard work.
All these things were the sort of things I did as I was growing up (except cooking - kitchen was Mums domain !) As a result both my boys were well able to look after themselves when they left home. They understood the value of money, probably because they knew how little we had so they were grateful for anything. Both got a paper round when they were old enough and that was their pocket money. Before then I used to give them enough money for a magazine/comic and some sweets and they were happy enough with that.
But this was some years ago (both are in their 30's now) Now it seems kids expect more from their parents and if asked to do anything the question follows 'whats in it for me?'.........................but it parents start early enough I can't see why kids can't be brought up in the OS way.

purpleivy

QueenB. wrote: »

I do not pay them as in my opinion we all make the mess so we should all help clean it, plus it teaches them about responsibility, respect and i see it as part of the process of making them independent and able to look after themselves well when they leave home. However they always get praise and a thank you and the two youngest get reward stickers to add to their chart.

.

I don't believe that giving pocket money should be dependent on helping either, we all live in the house, so should all keep it clean.

Having said that , the children don't do huge amounts to help, but in the holidays I expect them to do more. I remember a friend recently expressed surprise that they change their own sheets! Sorry, but I'm not changing loft beds! I try and give them jobs they don't mind doing, that's the way they are most productive. They know HOW to do stuff, just don't get much chance always.

Pink.

Hi aril,

I think it's important to involve children in household chores from as young an age as possible. My seven year old makes his bed every morning and is responsible for keeping his room tidy. He also helps out with everyday stuff like general tidying, laying the table, washing up etc.

With teens it can be more difficult. They are responsible for their own rooms and will help with other tasks if I ask them but I try not to ask much because they have long days at school, are both studying for exams and need some time to themselves too. Saying that ds1 is always glad to earn a bit of extra cash...I tend to pay him for jobs that I don't want to do like weeding the garden etc. That way we're both winners.:D

Pink

metherer

Aargh - lost my post when the thread was being moved. I was in the middle of typing it!!

Can't be bothered to type it out from scratch, but basically:

Aril - I think you have the right idea. DH left home (or rather was told he had less than a month to find somewhere to live as his mum was moving) at the age of 16.

She had never let him near the washer/dryer, and when his brother in law taught him to make a sunday roast there was hell to pay.

Consequently, he lived for a good few years off ready meals, unable to even sew on a button properly. His disabilities meant that he couldn't work all the time, so at a time when money was really tight he didn't know how to save pennies and pounds by cooking for himself.

We have decided that if we are able to have kids then, regardless of gender, they will learn to cook, clean, sew and keep a budget. They will have certain tasks they are expected to do, and we will show them how we do the rest. That way when they leave home the world won't be such a shock for them.

Metherer
x

arkonite_babe

With my 15 you everything is grump grump grump at the mo, so asking for a little extra help can blow back on you

My 9yo though will help no problem and loves being in the kitchen with me, especially now I'm getting a breadmaker and have found the joys of Twinks hob nobs

Both will moan though about keeping rooms clean and tidy, so it can be a battle at times.

15yo does not want to learn to cook, despite me trying many times, she maintains she will live on potnoodles while at uni in 3 years time, at this remark, I just hung my head in despair, despite my best efforts she still hasn't come round to the idea of cooking so that could be a future disaster area. I just hope that maybe I can work round her before it's too late and she ends up being clueless about running a home when she's old enough.

HTH

dronid

arkonite_babe wrote: »

With my 15 you everything is grump grump grump at the mo, so asking for a little extra help can blow back on you
15yo does not want to learn to cook, despite me trying many times, she maintains she will live on potnoodles while at uni in 3 years time,
HTH

Maybe it's time to start feeding her pot noodle now. In contrast it might not seem so appealing against the food the rest of you eat!
It might also be worthwhile pointing out that Pot Noodle is 86p a pot:eek: . I can probably manage a full size meal for that and maybe a pudding.

jamgirl

mine are 8,10 (boys) and 12(girl)
they all

• put dirty washing in basket
• wash dishes
• dry dishes
• hoover
• bring washing in off line

although this isn't always done and they nearly always grump!
12yr old like her room to be tidy so loves to do that and changes her bed once a week. she also puts her own ironing away.

arkonite_babe

dronid wrote: »

Maybe it's time to start feeding her pot noodle now. In contrast it might not seem so appealing against the food the rest of you eat!
It might also be worthwhile pointing out that Pot Noodle is 86p a pot:eek: . I can probably manage a full size meal for that and maybe a pudding.

Might just give that a try actually, will buy lots of pot noodles in Lidl this weekend and see what happens