Need time off work for bereavement...

annals1989

Hi,

My Mum passed away in February of this year, just 3 weeks before my 21st birthday. My employers have been really supportive of me and at the time paid me compassionate and bereavement leave. They also gave me full pay whilst i was only doing a graded return to work.

However, i am now back at work full time and am still not coping with the whole situation very well. I just want to be at home all the time. My GP has offered to sign me off work, however my employers have advised me that this time will be unpaid (I understand their views as they have a business to run and during this time they have been very supportive).

My question is this, is there any type of benefit i can claim from the government for time off work due to bereavement? If i take time off work i will recieve SSP but that is only £350 a month and i simply cannot afford to live off that with my bills and rent etc.

Can anybody suggest anything?

Thanks, Anna

dmg24

If you live on your own and have no capital, you may be eligible for LHA and CTB. However, as you are under 25 your LHA will be limited to the shared facilities rate, so you will not receive a great deal.

You can check the amounts you may receive at https://www.entitledto.co.uk.

mum2one

Just didn't want to run without sending my condolisences, (sorry excuse spelling),
the other posters advice is spot on. x

Amistoso_2

sounds like you may be suffering from depresion, if you get signed off then yes you will probably only get SSP as well as some help with rent and council tax depending on your circumstances. (do you have siblings and your father living with you etc, also any savings?)

Orville

Personally i think at home is the worst place to be. You need to crack on and get on with it so to speak. You will never get over it wallowing at home.

Apologies if that sounds a bit blunt but the longer you keep to your normal / work home routine etc, the easier it will get. I am sure deep down you know this.:)

chris1973

I lost my Father when I was 22, so I can truely say 'I know how you feel' . Its a very empty, frightening place to be in.

Having been there, and sat alone in darkness myself, I agree 100% with what Orville has said above, in that the last thing you really need to be doing is cutting yourself off from other people and a familiar routine.

I reacted badly to my Fathers' death, more so as it was my first real experience of losing family, although at the time trying to put a brave face on it to the point where those around me thought I was coping well - in reality I wasn't. My point being that I just shut myself away from daily interests and activities and refused to talk to other people about how I felt, and I can see a real pattern emerging from what you've posted above, and please believe me when I say that its not a direction you should he heading in.

Other than people at work, have you actually spoken to other family members about how you are feeling?, confided in friends?. if not maybe you need to try doing so?. Sometimes even talking to a stranger can be easier than talking to those close to you, I ended up being referred by my GP to an NHS counsellor who helped me a lot, eventually the fog began to clear and slowly - very slowly things for me began to get back to normal and I started putting all of those broken pieces back together again, but it does take time

splishsplash

I lost my mother six weeks before my 21st, having lost my father years before, so you have my sincere condolences.
I agree with the other posters who say it's best not to sit at home. Work and routine will keep you connected to the world, and while it's very tough, it does get better.
It's still very early days, you have my sympathy, and it will take a while yet, but sitting at home will not help you.
I wish you the very best, and I hope you will come to cherish the good memories and happy times as I do.

custardy

Orville wrote: »

Personally i think at home is the worst place to be. You need to crack on and get on with it so to speak. You will never get over it wallowing at home.

Apologies if that sounds a bit blunt but the longer you keep to your normal / work home routine etc, the easier it will get. I am sure deep down you know this.:)

depends on the individual
i took a few days off when my mother died,however it didnt really hit me till about 6 months later
i just buried myself in work,however i doubt its a healthy way for everyone ot deal with it

far2812

Just echoing what everyone else is saying - please do not stay at home - I did that after my mum died and to be honest - I lost the plot completely and ended up in a rehab.

It is so important to keep busy - I know it is the last thing you want to do but the option you are chosing is SO WRONG for you in the long term.

Ask your doctor about anti-depressants - and be totally honest with how you feel.

I dont think anyone will advise you to take time off work - as we all know what happens - advice from all these people is generally based on experiences.

do you have any support around you? Please do not go down the sitting at home routine - you may think you will keep yourself busy but believe me - you wont - you will go further down the depression track.

Have you spoken with anyone like cruse or bereavement - 0800 435 455?

What you are feeling like is now very normal under the circumstances.

Do you have friends around you that you can talk to?

x

annals1989

Thank you very much to you all for your quick replies.

To answer some of your questions, i live in rented accomondation with my boyfriend but still wouldnt afford to recieve SSP only.

Ive heard alot of people say that "moping" around isnt the best thing to heal this but at the moment it is the only thing i feel i can do! I do have plenty of friends and other family around me but i just feel like im boring them with my feelings etc as it has been nearly 3 months now!

I am already on the waiting list to see a bereavement counsellor, but as it is on the NHS the waiting list is very long! In the mean time i have made an appointment with my doctor to discuss what else there is i can do while i wait for an appointment with the counsellor.

Thanks again, Anna

dmg24

Can you boyfriend not help out financially? Any eligibility for means tested benefits (LHA and CTB) will be based on your joint income.