did you tell friends and family about going br

indebtinsussex

oh has decided that he wants to tell his parents and my parents that we are going br. I'm worried about what they will say to us. I'm ashamed enough that we are having to consider bankruptcy and am really worried about what they are going to say to us, what was peoples reactions like when you told them you were going br?

sizzler

This is one of the hard ones in BR telling people if you want to.

I told my parents but felt as though I had let them down. They did support me and I have told some close friends who have also been good.

Best of luck

confused76

i told my parents and they were brilliant. they understood and it helped me so much knowing they were supporting me
i only told a couple of friends - one has been fab i don't think the other understood and i regret telling them

dojoman

We told our children but no one else.

indebtinsussex

see I hope my parents will be supportive, I really feel like I have let them down with this. I know that they will offer us money to get us out of this, but thats only for the short term it will work, its a long term problem and I don't want anything from them at all, just their support. I also worry that it will get round the family, mil isn't know for her discretion and most of his family are really opinionated and dont think I could cope with them at the moment

confused76

i knwo where you're coming from indebt. i didn't want anyone to judge me as i was already my biggest critic! they might surprise you though

diddly74

We told friends as and when we felt it was pertinent and necessary. We haven't told everyone and yes when we told my MIL I felt her "disapproving stare" but she's had her own financial problems in her life so she has no room to point!

Thing is we aren't in this position due to stupidity or greed alone. Yes we have made duff choices but fate has played its hand for us too. The recession is the biggest thing that has affected us. So although I am not singing it from the rooftops, I don't think anyone should be ashamed!

dojoman

Could not have put it better myself, diddly, well said :T:T:T

stevemarsh1976

It was my mothers suggestion to look into br in the first place so I was good on that front as for friends ive told my close friends and they have all been great even if they dont necessarily approve fully.

My personal thoughts that if my friends do not at least support me even if not fully approving then they are not real friends. Friends should as I would, support each other in times of difficulty, its not as if we are breaking the law or anything

richardvc

I think the OP should tell their relevant parents if only to stop the difficult conversations.

For me personally, owning up to 37k debt was the most humiliating and upsetting time but my family and friends who I told were far from judgemental and even the ones who were came round eventually !!

It is very difficult and I wish you all the best in whatever decision you make.

Where in Sussex by the way ??

indebtinsussex

richardvc wrote: »

I think the OP should tell their relevant parents if only to stop the difficult conversations.

For me personally, owning up to 37k debt was the most humiliating and upsetting time but my family and friends who I told were far from judgemental and even the ones who were came round eventually !!

It is very difficult and I wish you all the best in whatever decision you make.

Where in Sussex by the way ??

I know we should tell them, but mils solution is to throw money at the problem even if it cripples herself financially (she gave to darling sil around £50,000 because she kept spending her mortgage money on going out) and my dad is just recovering from cancer so I'm worried about making him ill again, especially as they are worried about me being pregnant at the moment (very long story and not that interesting).

however as you say, by telling them we could get emotional support when we need it, it will take some stress of oh and it avoids the rather difficult conversation of how we managed to sell the flat after 18 rather unsuccessful months.

live by littlehampton, do you live in sussex as well?