husband left what do i do nex

diane70

he everyone

me and my husband have seperated after 18years, i dont love him anymore......

anyway last week he was saying i will always look after u and the girls aged 12 and 4, but today that all changed and he is saying we have to now sell the house as he cant afford rent and a mortgage.......................

the mortgage is 38 grand, we are on tax credits at the moment and i dont work.........

so what i would like is some help with what to do next.....
I am applying for some work in the kitchens at school as my youngests will be in full time sept and i will be off in the holidays with them...........

who do i phone first? social services, tax, mortgage?
i dont really want to sell the house but would i get help with the £260 month payment?

i am totally confused as what to do...........hope someone can help and i hope i can save my house........
cheers di x

ps also we have £2400 on a card in my name, will i have to pay that?:(

Fire_Fox

((((hugs)))) Why do you think you need to get social services involved?

Ring the mortgage lender and see if you can go onto interest only payments for now. If you are entitled to Support for Mortgage Interest that does not kick in for three months, do you have savings or will the ex pay until then? Ring the council and apply for single person discount. Check here to see if you can apply for any benefits
https://www.entitledto.co.uk
Speak to the child support agency or check their website to see what child support you can expect. Advise tax credits of your change of circumstances. Cancel any contracts or outgoings that you don't need (e.g. TV package, gaming subscription). Does not matter what order you do all this in, sit down for a couple of hours and get it all done!!

Any debts that are in your sole name you are liable for unless your ex agrees to help you. If you are struggling you may be able to offer token payments of £1 a month until all your benefits are sorted (this will affect your credit rating). Debt-free Wannabe board will help with that.

Indie_Kid

You need to change your tax credits claim from joint to single.

kerry13238

you will prob get 25% of his earnings and 25% off council tax so call them

jen_br

Hi Step one BREATHE it will be ok!!

Secondly get yourself down to the Citizens advice tellt hem everything bring as much with you as you have contacts for mortgage bills etc.. they will advise you where to go and how to go about it all..

they are generally really nice people..

You need to ring CSA though and get your ex to pay his child support for 2 kids and pending on what he earns that can be a good income for you.. you can work it out if you roughly know his earnings on the CSA website GOOD LUCK!

izzybusy23

diane70 wrote: »

he everyone

me and my husband have seperated after 18years, i dont love him anymore......

anyway last week he was saying i will always look after u and the girls aged 12 and 4, but today that all changed and he is saying we have to now sell the house as he cant afford rent and a mortgage.......................

the mortgage is 38 grand, we are on tax credits at the moment and i dont work.........

so what i would like is some help with what to do next.....
I am applying for some work in the kitchens at school as my youngests will be in full time sept and i will be off in the holidays with them...........

who do i phone first? social services, tax, mortgage?
i dont really want to sell the house but would i get help with the £260 month payment?

i am totally confused as what to do...........hope someone can help and i hope i can save my house........
cheers di x

ps also we have £2400 on a card in my name, will i have to pay that?:(

As you are not working, I am assuming to stay at home to look after and raise your children, you may well want to think about spousal maintenance. A court can award this if you have no means to income and have been reliant on your husband; or if there is a big difference in wages which can affect how you can manage on your own wages if he is or can earn potentially a lot more than you. Something to think about but it will involve solicitors and the court, but then you should get legal aid I would imagine.

Good luck x

Amistoso_2

call jobcentreplus and make a claim for income support, also call tax credits and change your claim with them. You should talk to your local authority and see if there is any housing available if not you may need to look at private rents.
Not a nice situation to be in (I've been there myself) just take care of yourself and your 2 kids, things get easier in time.
Hope you get yourself all sorted, think of it as a new begining instead of an end xx

AnxiousMum

First of all - take a good long look at your kids - and remind yourself just how important they are, and drum it into your head that THEY deserve to have as much 'normality' as possible - which could mean remaining in their family home, and having mum at home till the youngest is in school full time, and being supported financially by both parents. You need to know yourself that this is their right, and they are entitled to it - it certainly helps you when the fight is on.

Get in touch with jobcentre? to get signed up for Income support.
Call the council - get a 25% reduction to start with on your council tax bill for being a lone adult in the house
Contact CSA - and get an application in for child support - with two children you should be entitled to about 20% of his income to help support the children. If he has changed his mind in the course of the first week, chances are that a personal arrangement WITHOUT the CSA is not in your best interests, or the best interests of your kids.
Re spousal support - not sure, but think this might be done in the courts? As mentioned above, if you have remained at home throughout the marriage to look after children and be an at home mum - then you could certainly apply for spousal support - as said above, the kids are entitled to as much normality as possible.
Speak to someone at CAB - but also try and get a free half hour consultation with a family lawyer who will be able to advise you on your rights as well.
In terms of the house - you may even be awarded the right to stay in it until your youngest is an adult - so do not give in to any demands at the moment - you are both entitled to legal advice - and you should get legal aid.
Make sure that this is as smooth for the kids as possible.
Then when you have contacted all these people, invite a close friend over for a glass of your favourite, and have a toast to the new future ahead for you.

Do NOT agree to move out of the house until you have spoken to a lawyer!

diane70

thanks everyone...........im trying my hardest to keep it all calm and normal for the kids......hes blaming me for not loving him anymore, i keep thinking of going back for the kids sake but i know it would be so much harder on the kids that way.........so better to crack on and get sorted..........

he is coming round tomorrow to talk about money as he isnt on that much and has no savings and needs to save for rent furniture etc, hes lost everything and keeps reminding me...........

anyway im went to the CAB and they were hopeless, told me go jobcentre......i phoned then up to make a claim for income support but broke down and hung up, so i guess i will have to ring back tuesday they wanted all sorts of info i dont have, never claimed anything b4..........i want to help him as much as possible with money so lets hope the chat tomorrow goes well and fingers crossed for a job, 12 years unemployed wow hey!

its a scary step but i feel its the right one.........the youngest is fab shes just getting on with it ,but im now having the hormonal/i miss dad/mums a cow moments from the eldest

anyway thanks again guys i really do appreciate all ur help:) xxx

di xxx

SuziQ

That mortgage payment ir probably far less than any rent would be, and selling houses is not easy at the moment, so despite what your husband wants selling doesn't sound the best thing for his children! After a period on income support you may get help paying the mortgage-as long as it is in your name. If in both your names you are likely to just get half, he will be expected to pay the other half as he will still benefit when the house is inevitably sold when the children are older. They do look at whther you have ever increased the mortgage for improvements though-they are unlikely to pay anything for that part of the loan.

Once you have sorted your income support and CTC, CTB out etc you will feel better: I made myself a to-do-list when I was first in your position. I saw the CAB, rang the Income support people then went into the job center to sign the paperwork, went into the local council benefits centre re CTB and free school meals etc, then rang up the credit card people and negotiated a lesser payment whilst I was sorting everything out-they were actually very helpful. It was satisfying ticking each thing off and I felt more in control. Good luck and ask away if you get stuck with anything.

kingfisherblue

I was in a similar position five years ago, except that my ex left me for somebody else. I got help with the mortgage (with the full amount - he hasn't paid a penny towards it since he left). The courts often award the use of the house to the parent with care until the youngest is eighteen, so don't let him bully you into selling. Get the advice of a solicitor. I looked in Yellow Pages and used one who specialised in family law. The last thing your children need is more upheaval.

I didn't get spousal maintenance despite being a SAHM for several years; I care for our disabled child. My solicitor told me that spousal maintenance isn't common these days. It's usually only paid to older women who have never worked and who have little chance of a job.

Put in a claim for Income Support. This will entitle you to free school meals for the children, as well as free prescriptions for yourself. In some areas, there is a uniform allowance paid in July - ask your local council.

Change your child tax credits claim from joint to single. Apply for Council tax benefit - as well as the 25% discount as a single person, you will get benefit on top of this. If you are claiming IS, you probably won't pay anything.

To claim IS, you will need a separate bank account from your ex, so get this opened as soon as possible. If you currently have a joint account, it will have to be closed.

Contact the CSA as soon as possible to open a claim. Your ex will probably have to pay 20% of his net pay towards the upkeep of the children, assuming he doesn't have them for at least 52 nights a year and has no other children living in his new household. My ex paid through a private arrangement for a few months, but then stopped paying. It took me four years of constantly contacting the CSA before I received any more payments (I now get regular maintenance plus arrears, directly from his wages). Give the CSA as much information as you can - it won't make you popular with your ex, but you need to sort out his contribution to the children. You might have split up, but he still has a responsibility towards them. If he gives any money directly to them, it doesn't count (my ex tried claiming this, but the occasional happy meal didn't count!)