Begging to accept I'm different/disabled/normal-for-me

Prinzessilein

oops....title should be beginning not begging! (How do I edit the title?!!)

Not a question, more of an observation really:

I went to the hospital today, by bus. I showed my pass and looked for a seat. The lower deck of the bus was full, and no way can I get up the stairs to the top deck, so I found a place to stand and held on tight.

The front seats were already occupied by people with sticks et.c probably on their way to the hospital like me, so I resigned myself to an uncomfortable 40 minute journey standing up.

That's when somone stood up and offered me his seat! He said he'd seen I had a disability pass, and looked as if I needed to sit down. Well, yes, I did need to sit down. But it's the first time anyone has done this for me.....I've only had the pass for about a month.

I gratefully accepted the seat, with appropriate thanks for the gesture.

I suppose I need to start thinking more of myself as actually having these extra needs. I get DLA for a reason. I have a bus pass for a reason. I don't think I'll ever stop struggling to lead as 'normal' a life as possible. But I also need to accept my condition(s) as part of who I am.

windmillbubs

I know what you mean, and sometimes its hard to see ourselves as other people see us - as disabled. Also, although things cause me pain i do them as i want to lead as 'normal' a life a possible, and i rest at home for hours so i decide where i put what energy i have.

I have just gone from low mobility to high mobility and this was huge for me, as there was no 'NO' from the dla like there was the first time i applied, and it confirmed to me the seriousness (is that a word?!) of my disability and the fact they took me seriously. Very positive decision which left me in tears!

Well done on taking the seat too as its so hard to admit to yourself and others that you do need that extra help i.e. the seat. Like you say, you have a disabled bus pass for a reason!

Take care

Jo x

TheBottomLine_2

From my own experience, once I had accepted the fact that I was disabled my life got much easier because I then accepted all the help I could get.

sox8369

I fully understand your comments - when i was diagnosed i was only 5 so didnt really understand - but as i have grown up i have had to go through both my daughters being disgnosed (hereditary condition = 2 x amazing guilt).

They also are now growing up trying to realise and accept that they have limitations on what they can do ...its quite hard to watch and help them understand - but we try our best.

serenity79

I had a moment like that when I was over in London to go to a hospital there, we were on a very busy tube and a man got up and offered me his seat so I could sit down. For a second I thought to myself 'how does he know...?' then I remembered the walking stick, lol. It was the first time that I've thought about 'other people' thinking of me as disabled, not just 'me' accepting that I'm disabled, if that makes sense. I have to admit, I took the seat gratefully!

sheeps68

I personally am impressed someone noticed your pass and offered the seat! Well done him and its so nice to hear of considerate people out there.

dane-katie

Its nice to hear of people offering there seat for you.

I am disabled but not physically, i use the bus prob once a fortnight which doesnt cost much so i dont bother with a bus pass, to look at me i am "normal" even though i am obese, i have to sit near the front of the bus, i get very distressed at the back and the amount of dirty looks i get even when the bus is no where near full (if it was i would offer my seat) its as if i am doing something wrong, but mentally i have severe problems, i wish the older people who get on the bus could understand instead i get the remarks and snide looks

Never mind so glad that people seem to understand where you are

Indie_Kid

I once had an older man ask me what the sign (the "these are priority seats for disabled / elderly /people with children") read. I am beginnign to wish I'd said "I can't - I'm partially sighted". I said yes and then said that I am disabled. he shut up then.

Does anyone else have problems with asking people for seats? I can't do this - but sometimes really do need a seat.

sox8369

This is the discrimination that we face because some people still think you have to be in your 80's, or be in a wheel chair to be 'disabled' ....which clearly isnt true x

sheeps68

h1305 wrote: »

Does anyone else have problems with asking people for seats? I can't do this - but sometimes really do need a seat.

Oh yes I certainly do. Often risk falling or sit on floor / step rather than ask. Tips please.

Mupette

I still can't get my head around being disabled, your not alone, it is just hard to adjust to and adapt.

I had an active life and enjoyed it, now.. i feel i am more of a recluse